Why are patients...?

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

Why are breast augmentation patients always so darn surprised that it hurts?

Why does Dr. Diety always think his patients are going to go home from surgery the same day when they always end up as complicated inpatients?

Why does "q" mean "every"?

:rolleyes:

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Why do visitors always insist "Mom has to pee"?

Why do old people always want to give you chocolates that are unwrapped and no longer shiny?

Why are pills packaged so that you need a machete to open them?

What DOES housekeeping actually clean?

Why do the stars go on shining?

Why do my eyes want to cry?

DON'T THEY KNOW????

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych, Tele, ICU.

Why do doctors think that telemetry prevents a patient from coding?

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sorry if this upsets any one. i am a newbie on here. I am an 8 year vet as stna 3/4 of the way through lpn school but my question is why do nurses put call lights on when residents want water, taken to Br, of transfered to bed. I know they are busy but if the residents does not have alarm the nurse could taken to br and told to pull light, pouring water from pitcher to cup or transfering to bed does not take that long. ok i guess i will make a lot of enemies know just had to get that off my chest.

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When you have a little old lady on the toilet why is it that when you hand them 4 squares of toilet paper they shriek, "Oh honey that's too much!" and they tear it in half? Why is it when you pour half a glass of water for a little old lady they go "Oh honey that's too much!" Well, maam, just drink half of it! Why do they think that the kitchen will be mad at them if they don't eat their cake so they want you to take it home to the kids even if they ate a few bites of it?

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When you have a little old lady on the toilet why is it that when you hand them 4 squares of toilet paper they shriek, "Oh honey that's too much!" and they tear it in half? Why is it when you pour half a glass of water for a little old lady they go "Oh honey that's too much!" Well, maam, just drink half of it! Why do they think that the kitchen will be mad at them if they don't eat their cake so they want you to take it home to the kids even if they ate a few bites of it?

Most of these patients lived through the Great Depression or other very hard times.

They have lived their lives conserving because that is what they learned they had to do to survive.

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You do realize HQ that this is the humor section? I've been a nurse for 32 years. I understand psychological/historical implications of the Great Depression. I was posing my reply in question form as did the OP.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Emergency, CEN.

Why can't fully functioning patients move their own cell phones two inches to the left?

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Or the kleenex box one quarter of an inch to the left or the right?

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You do realize HQ that this is the humor section? I've been a nurse for 32 years. I understand psychological/historical implications of the Great Depression. I was posing my reply in question form as did the OP.

My apologies.

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Specializes in PERI OPERATIVE.

Why do troublesome patients come in after you mention their name, or take out their chart? It's like they've felt some disturbance in the "force".

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Specializes in geriatrics, dementia, ortho.

Why does the full moon mean that all my dementia residents take it literally and keep taking off their pants every few minutes?

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