What is the...

Nurses Humor

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WORST possible thing you could hear a surgeon say seconds before the patient goes under?

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Now, remind me....WHY are we here again?

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Lol I had a neurosurgeon say to me before my surgery 'I don't normally give consent to death but today is an exception' ....I had a shunt placed and it took 3hrs, aged the attending 10yrs when she checked my pupils post op and they were dilated & unresponsive to light. Normally LP shunts are placed but due to other issues I opted for a VP shunt which could have killed me.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

'Oh crap'

'Wait, which one is the scalpel again?'

'Who keeps moving my 'Heart surgery for dummies' book?!'

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" I picked a he** of a day to quit drinking."

" I think I'll try a new approach during this surgery today."

"Is this the bilateral AKA or the appendectomy?"

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Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.

"Hey, can someone get me an anatomy book?"

"Nurse, can you hold my bong?"

"Which foot was it again? Or was it an arm?"

"All right, get ready to push Potassium into her IV..."

"It's a shame my glasses broke this morning. I'm blind as a bat without them!"

"This IS quite a bit different than that board game. If I hit the wrong spot, his nose will still light up, right?"

"In honor of take your daughter to work day, little Addison is going to make the first incision."

"Now, this one better not die on me like the last two!"

"I can't remember if I washed my hands. Oh well, here goes!"

"Assisting in the procedure today will be Dr Jack Daniels and Dr. Jim Beam!"

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Specializes in Psych, Hosp, and LTC.

"I am wanted in seven states but I think I can beat it..."

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Why are we here again..... most hearing words

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

:whistling:'The arm bone's connected to the...shoulder bone. The arm bone's connected to the...shoulder bone...:singing:'

-Hey guys, look what happens when I touch this part here!

-Nurse, hand me that Redbull. I haven't slept in 2 days and need to get this done!

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oopsie

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Specializes in retired LTC.

OOPS....

Nurse anesthesist actually said this while struggling to get an IV on me preop. She just hit the artery.

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