Top 10 Myths of the "MURSE"

[mikethemurse]

Okay, somebody had to say it (and I am not sure if anyone has, only a member for a short time), so it might as well be me! As my name on this site would imply, I am a MURSE (that is to say a Male + Nurse = MURSE). And I just wanted to put to rest some common myths about such strange creatures as myself.

1. NO I AM NOT A DOCTOR!: First of all I work for a living. Secondly, I didn't flunk med school, or settle to be "just a nurse" It was a conscious decision.

2. No, I am not homosexual: Some male nurses are gay, I don't happen to be one of them. Just as not all female mechanics are lesbians, I am sure some are, but not all. (P.S. Personally I don't have a problem with anyone's lifestyle, especially nurses or mechanics these are just examples.)

3. No ladies, we don't have a problem with you asking for a female nurse to take care of you, the problem we have is when we see that all of your doctors are men, yet you have no problem with them caring for you. I still don't get that double standard....Someone please explain!

4. To our female co-workers: yes we can help you reach that, lift that patient, or take the handsy old guy patient, we know our role, just remember to say thanks every once in a while (boost our male egos, that's all we want)

5. Yes we have heard it all ladies...the embarrassing girl talk, the what's in this season talk, all of the talk, but please don't pull us into your relationship talk to get a "man's opinion." Chances are we are men, and will agree with the man's side of the story on the inside but will say what will keep us out of trouble at work...WE ARE MEN!!!

6. To management: you don't have to prove anything to us, we don't all want your job, we are not a threat to your power because of our gender. So relax, and don't go making an example out of us all the time.

7. Yes I am your nurse, yes I am a man. Now that we have that cleared up....

8. Question: Why do people have to state my gender before my profession? Really. Oh, did you meet Mike? He is a MALE nurse. As opposed to a male teacher or a male bartender. Odd? or is it just me, by the way, the correct title is MURSE!

9. Yes, I love my job, no I didn't get into it for the money, or for the fact that I get to work with a lot of women, if I wanted a job that made a lot of money, and gave me the chance to be around a lot of women, I would have become a night club owner, and never have had to wipe any butt besides my own! I got into the field for most of the same reasons as any other nurse in the world.

10. And the last myth of the MURSE.... Even though we may take some bs from some people in the world we really do love this challenging and rewarding life, and wouldn't change it for the world.

Well I hope this entertained some, informed some, and was understood by all MURSEs out there in cyber land. Thanks.

Mike the MURSE

[agentarjuna]

I worked on an ortho floor for a while where we had 3 murses. One was a tall, big guy who'd be great lifting help. Two were very tall, extremely thin guys who were great at a lot of stuff, but not lifting. I'm a short, stocky, strong-as-an-ox woman. People would always come to our floor and ask for "lifting help from some guys". It got to the point where Murses 2 & 3 would tell them "Well, we could go and it would take both of us, or you could just take Arjuna here and get the same result." I loved the assumption that guys would provide the best lifting help. Murses 2 & 3 used to come get ME.

Part of me wonders if the "I want a female to help me to the bathroom" is rooted in the view that doctors are professionals, but that PCTs/CNAs and nurses are somehow less than that. *kicks that view in the face*

[RetiredTooSoon]

3. No ladies, we don't have a problem with you asking for a female nurse to take care of you, the problem we have is when we see that all of your doctors are men, yet you have no problem with them caring for you. I still don't get that double standard....Someone please explain!

Now I know this is a humorous post, but you did ask for an explanation on this one and it is something I've observed before, so you're gonna get it.

1. Depending on the reason for admission, the patient's doctor may have never seen, let alone handled, the patient's breasts or genitals, or if they did, it was an unintentional moment as a drape was lifted or a gown slipped. As a nurse, you may be responsible for bathing, wiping or otherwise viewing/handling those areas as part of your routine care.

2. The patient may have been asleep when the doctor did have to touch or handle their private areas, whereas they are fully awake when you are there caring for them. I have cared for women who see their family doctor for all of their well woman care and only go to an OB/Gyn for tubals or other surgeries. In one or two cases, the male OB had not done a lady partsl exam on the woman (tubal, reproductive anatomy reported normal by GP) until she was asleep. Had she wound up with an anaesthetic reaction and had to be admitted, in her mind, no man had seen or touched her genitals and now you want to be assessing her bleeding and peri-pad? Uh-uh.

3. The patient has taken the time to build trust with their doctor over several visits. They don't know you from Adam, so they can't have assessed you enough to understand that you are a professional.

4. There is still the stereotype that men go into nursing to be able to legally grope at women in vulnerable times, but doctors to go medical school with the true intention of curing and caring.

5. There is still the belief that most men are fixated on women's breasts, butt and what's between their legs, but a pass is often given to physicians. That same level of trust is not given to pretty much any other medical professional.

6. In the case of a woman needing Gyn/Uro/cardiac surgery and the only option being a man, she may feel so vulnerable knowing those parts of her body were seen and handled by men once that she doesn't want any other men to see her there.

Those are the things I came up with for why a woman might not want a male nurse, but most are situations assuming you've got to regularly assess or handle those parts of her body. For a routine admission where their own care is largely done by themselves and their more private areas aren't your focus, I can't tell you why. I know I'd have no issue with it; the male nurses I've had up to this point in my life have been wonderful.

[Boognish]

As a man, and a future nurse, and one of only two male caregivers at the assisted living facility/memory care facility where I work, I can appreciate this. Especially #3. Whenever I'm scheduled as caregiver (as opposed to medication aide), I've gotta coordinate with the female caregiver working with me to make sure that she takes care of showering/peri-care for all of the residents who request female-only care.

I do think it's unfair to say that doctors don't work for a living, but I have my share of frustrations in dealing with them (mostly by phone and fax). The elderly get shafted by MD's regularly. We sent a fax to a doctor requesting a chest x-ray for a resident whose PPD came up positive, and simply received the reply "no need" without any explanation. Legally, our facility has a VERY strong need for a follow-up cxr for any resident or employee with a positive PPD.

In another incident, we sent a resident to the ER d/t extreme pain immediately following a fall. They sent her back to the facility without even doing an x-ray because the doctor who saw her asked her how she was feeling and she said "fine." She had Alzheimer's (clearly listed among her diagnoses on the copy of her MAR that we sent with her) and couldn't remember what happened 30 seconds ago, so if she wasn't in immediate pain, she wasn't going to know anything was wrong. Turns out she had a broken collar bone.

However in regards to #5, I don't automatically side with the guy in a relationship dispute. I frequently find myself embarrassed for my gender when I hear what idiots some guys can be- though I'm sure if you asked my g/f she'd tell you I'm one of those idiots at times :)

[arabianeyez83]

Working with murses Is alot funner than working with furses

[ErinDel, ASN, BSN, RN]

I enjoyed ur post!! Great job :) u seem like a fun "murse" to work with...

[dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I]

Kudos Mike. As a fellow Murse for too long, I'd like to offer a partial suggestion to item #3, why Moctors are treated differently than Murses. In the ER setting at least, Moctors tell the fatients "we're going to do this" and we'll do that." I've often wanted to change the name on my ID to "We" because the "we" the Moctor refers to as is me.

The Moctor may say "We're going to do an EKG" but when the Murse arrives to do it, a fatient may prefer a furse.

[pednursedeb]

OK, I'm guilty I have said male nurse. I'm not sure why. I'll try and do better. I ask for help from most of my fellow workers to reach things, pull people up in bed etc, because I'm only 5' tall and weigh 92 pounds.

As long as you went into nursing for the right reasons, it dosen't matter if you are male or female.

I personally don't understand the double standard thing either, where pt have male physicians, but don't want male nurses. (I did say male nurse there, but it was just to clarify)

Good luck to you. You have to keep your sense of humor or you will never make it.

You can't imagine how many times I've had some comment about my size.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Did you wear a mursing hat when you were a student? Yes, I love humor too.

[terrilynn1077]

I am about to graduate from nursing school and we have three incredible gentlemen who are becoming nurses. They are incredible and I would be lucky to have them take care of me! They are smarter and quicker then some of the ladies and they are very approachable. Our last clinical rotation I was lucky enough to be in the group with all three of them and their patients couldn't have been happier. Male or Female all I hope is that I wont have to be in the hospital to have a nurse!

[NICUdude]

I had not heard or seen the term "Murse" before today.

The humor is great. The real deal, as I see things, is that not many care. Granted, my patients care that I feed, burp, and change their diapers, or just give them my undivided attention until their HR comes out of the ozone, or their O2 sat comes back from the basement, but our unit works in concert for every patient and family in our care. I am almost through my first year as a nurse, and eager to help, whenever I can, or to accept help when I am too busy with one of my babies. No eating of young here, and no burn-out in sight. And yes, I love my job. When people ask me, the only thing I put in front of "nurse" is NICU, but that is just so they know how proud I am to be doing what I do. Blessings are for counting, and mine are counted in kilograms, centimeters, and kilo calories.

[martinb216]

thanks for a great post- many a true word spoken in jest

[LouisVRN, RN]

I have to say we have 3 murses on our unit currently, and am sad to say we will be losing two to different departments shortly. I have greatly enjoyed all my murse experiences. Yes, some females will want only females to care for intimate details but hey we have to pay you back somehow for all the lifting and reaching (although at 5'10" I dont have to ask too often LOL. I love it in when our male charge nurse answers call lights, if the patient is requesting pain meds (for the fifth time even though the next available time is written clearly on their board) all he has to do is tell them there is nothing available at this time, but that the nurse would bring something in as soon as she could and the patient then completely understands because the doctor said they had nothing available. This works for pretty much anything, pts do not question his authority. I have to say though I think they think of me more of a asexual nurse, LOL, I can talk as easily about camping, fishing, hunting as I can manicures and fashion.