Things we all would like to say at work, but can't.

  1. 1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.


    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.


    3. How about never? Is never good for you?


    4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.


    5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.


    6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.


    7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..


    8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.


    9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.


    10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...


    11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.


    12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.


    13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.


    14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.


    15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.


    16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.


    17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.


    18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.


    19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?


    20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.


    21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.


    22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.


    23. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?


    24. Do I look like a people person?


    25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.


    26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.


    27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.


    28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?


    29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.


    30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.


    31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.


    32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.


    33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?


    34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


    35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?


    36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.


    37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?


    38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
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  2. 21 Comments

  3. by   micro
    Betts.........

    i love you.............

    ROFLMAO

    you are always there to pick me up.........

    and love the new rabbit you...........so cool, so very very cool.....

    micro
  4. by   micro
    and i loved #38
  5. by   mattcastens
    You know, I actually use quite a few of them at work. My recent favorite:

    "Are you retarded? Then what's your excuse?"
  6. by   dawngloves
    Oh, I'd love to say,
    "Just shut the f@#k up!"
  7. by   havok
    as for #2,

    "2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. "

    9 times out of 10, the person requires a.....

    cephalo-rectal-ectomy
  8. by   micro
    Betts,
    keep em coming

    a couple more.....

    **I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

    ***Is it time for your medication or mine.

    You say I am a _____ like this is a bad thing?
  9. by   mamabear
    Do you need help with this or did you OD on your stupid a*#hole
    pills again?
    I don't know who she/he *&%#ed to get her/his job, but they should get fired too.
    Like I've always said: around here it isn't what or who you know, it's who you &%#@.
  10. by   havok
    #39 I'm sorry there is no cure for STUPID, come back in a few years
  11. by   traumaRUs
    No, it's not first come, first served here !!
  12. by   mattsmom81
    All you visitors: GO HOME and LET ME DO MY JOB!!!
  13. by   kewlnurse
    Working in a teachin hospital I use # 9 Very frequently.
  14. by   mother/babyRN
    I have to say that I have used number 3 on more than one occasion....

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Things we all would like to say at work, but can't.