Share your funniest patient stories... - page 88

by trvlnRN

:lol2: We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. I keep remembering to a particular incident a few years back. It wasn't even my... Read More


  1. 0
    I had a lady who was a very anxious type of person,with some dementia, and unfortunately, she had allergies to most of the meds we would use for that sort of thing. So, talking to her usually calmed her some. She voiced that she wanted to make sure she got all her meds , because ...... She didn't want to wake up dead in the morning.!

    I reasssured her that I didnt want that to happen either, and would make sure to get all her meds. Then I had to step out of the room and laugh my behind off!!!
  2. 0
    When I was a fairly young nurse (1-2 yrs.), I got pulled to work in ICU. I was assigned a patient who was sitting up in a geri-chair. When it was time to get him back in bed, I stood in front of him to lift him into bed. Unknown to me, he was sitting on a bedpan and as I lifted him, the bedpan, filled with liquid stool, slid out from under him & sprayed me, head to foot, with the aforementioned stool. This was back in the days of white, nurse's uniforms & shoes & I happened to be wearing a dress & hose. Luckily, the ICU's in the hospital supplied scrubs to the nurses & I was able to change, but I had to clean my shoes the best I could ( stool had run down my legs into my shoes) & wear the w/o socks. That's one of several mishaps, involving stool or vomit, I have had during my career.
  3. 3
    This one has had me laughing all weekend...I work on a cardiothoracic telemetry unit, and the other day we had the red phone ring for a lady (she was beginning to code). So about twelve of us run into her room to find her calmly lying in bed watching tv. She turned to us and said, "you need to bring me some hot men in here. I was just watching this commercial, and there was an actor going up the stairs, and he had the cutest tush..." ...we all just died laughing...and of course tried to steal a hot man or two to visit her later on.
  4. 5
    True story while working in the ED. An elderly man comes in with his wife c/o possible hypoxia with blue fingers which his wife states they consulted their neighbor who was a nurse (I am doubtful she really was) and the neighbor advised them it might be related to low oxygen.

    This man worked himself into a tizzy, with ample encouragement from his wife. He frequently took deep breathes just to be sure he could still breathe. When he got to me in triage his fingers were indeed blue,so blue in fact I took an alcohol wipe and wiped it off! Just then the wife remembered she just bought new navy blue flannel sheets.

    The part that kills me is they still wanted to be seen by the doctor, "just in case ."

    Possible diagnosis I am guessing would be acute indigo -anemia with just a touch of the crazys.
    Leonca, sweetdreameRN, maelstrom143, and 2 others like this.
  5. 0
    I'm not a nurse yet but this thread has been some of the most humorous and scariest things I've read on AN.com. Thank you all for sharing!!!!

    Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com
  6. 1
    Quote from Lynx25
    I work in LTC and we have a gentleman who- according to his story- had his eyeballs removed by the Mafia. No one's quite sure what happened- but at any rate, he has no eyes.

    This man has his nurse, 3 aids, and the social worker CONVINCED he can see "Just a little bit!" The aide came up to me and was yelling about how he could tell where she was standing, and the social worker was convinced because the guy was walking without a cane. (Into the wall....)

    These people seriously wouldn't believe me that there was no way in heck this guy could see, until finally, as the guy was walking down the hall unattended, his nurse tells him, "Oh! Mr X! Watch out for that wheelchair!"

    The guy spins around, pulls his eyelids open, and yells "J---- F------g C-----T LADY! I HAVE NO G--D--- EYEBALLS!"

    I nearly died laughing- how were they expecting him to see? With his elbows?
    You work in a very scary place...must have been hilarious, yet freaking frustrating...
    psullivan95 likes this.
  7. 0
    Old post but I have to share this...

    It was during my clinical days on an acute care floor. One morning firemen and two police men
    appear on the floor asking for Mrs So and So. The staff had no idea what was going on and
    led them to her room. Apparently, this adorable little old lady had a question
    about her ambulance bill and figured that, in order to get her answers she would call back
    the number she called to get the ambulance... 911.

    The policemen were quite gracious and stayed behind to go over her bill with her and figure out
    who she actually needed to call.
  8. 1
    Quote from psullivan95
    Old post but I have to share this...

    It was during my clinical days on an acute care floor. One morning firemen and two police men
    appear on the floor asking for Mrs So and So. The staff had no idea what was going on and
    led them to her room. Apparently, this adorable little old lady had a question
    about her ambulance bill and figured that, in order to get her answers she would call back
    the number she called to get the ambulance... 911.

    The policemen were quite gracious and stayed behind to go over her bill with her and figure out
    who she actually needed to call.
    OMG really?! Hahahahahaha. I love this thread! Classic!
    OwenKL likes this.
  9. 2
    I work a busy hall in a LTC/Rehab center, where I am responsible for 25-30 patients a day. One day was particularly busy with all sorts of things going on. Myself and my CNAs were running our butts off trying to keep up, and to make matters worse two of our high fall risk residents decided they would choose this day to make their attempt at freedom. One had already fallen and was determined to keep trying, and the second was on her way to a fall as well.

    Now these two suffered from dementia and difficulty hearing. Each were fairly calm when distracted usually, but on this day we were unable to find anything that kept their interests. After a few close calls and a ton of failed distractions, it hit us! Both of these residents loved to talk, and talking was one of the most effective distractions for them. Out of a loss for ideas, we parked the two in front of each other at the nurses station, and for the next 2 smooth hours they carried on two entirely separate conversations and had an amazing time doing so. We pull out the creative distraction every now and then to this day.
    Leonca and Franemtnurse like this.
  10. 2
    Sitting at the nurses station talking with a co-worker. Behind us, we had a demented gentleman who was hanging out with all of us because he wouldn't stop getting up.

    My co-worker mentions something about being newly pregnant.

    Gentleman yells out "I didn't do it"!!
    Leonca and DeLanaHarvickWannabe like this.


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