Share Your Funniest Patient Stories...

tweetysue · Mar 12, 2005

Picture it! An unlocked Psych floor where the patients roam freely in the hallways. It's about 1am. I answered the call light of an older female patient who had been admitted with depression and was very timid. As I entered the doorway, I was assaulted with a very strong odor of feces. According to the patient, an elderly very confused patient whose room was across the hall, had gotten out of bed, walked into this ladies room, squatted over the drawer in her bedside table, and let loose. She then walked out of the room, across the hall, and went back to bed. :rotfl:

Adam D. RN2005 · Mar 13, 2005

JBudd said:

You should have seen the ads that popped up when the word gorilla was used once. :chuckle

Oh please, do tell what ads popped up when the word gorilla was used.

Liddle Noodnik · Mar 13, 2005

Adam D. RN2005 said:

Oh please, do tell what ads popped up when the word gorilla was used.

Gorillas gorillas gorillas. So far, nothing!

lucianurse · Mar 13, 2005

When I worked on the med-surg unit years ago, we had a grouchy middle aged unmarried supervisor, who made both patient and nurses alike feel her wrath. one of the young RN's poked fun at her unawares. She said that the supervisor suffered from "penile dementia".

CHPN1680 · Mar 14, 2005

I was working in a LTC facility and there was a celebration for one of the residents. It was her 100th Birthday. She was quite somnolent as the party began so I spoke to her reminding her that this was her Birthday Party. I then asked if she know how old she was. She said,"No, how old am I?". When I told her that she was 100 years old, she quickly replied, "Well, no wonder I'm so tired."

trudlebug · Mar 15, 2005

Here's one that happened while I was in nursing school:

A classmate was assigned a patient with chest pain, who repeatedly would receive nitro for his complaints. However, no EKG changes were noted, and the incidents would resolve quickly after 2-3 SL NTG, and he refused other treatment. Since we were only second semester students, the primary nurse would come in to evaluate and administer the NTG, and my classmate would observe/assist as needed. After a few of these incidents in the two days he was her patient, he confided in her that he wasn't really having chest pain at all. However, he was depressed/confused/suicidal?, and figured if they gave him enough nitro, he would explode! :confused: (psych consult requested immediately)

sis14rn · Mar 16, 2005

I was working on an acute rehab unit with SCI patients. Most patients were on a "bowel program" which involved giving a routine dulcolax supp. My patient wanted his while he was sitting up on the shower chair. so, here I am, crawling on the floor to get the best view I could. that didn't work so well so I thought I'll just feel my way, the patient's a man, should be easy right? wrong. I begin trying to insert the supp, thinking I'm putting it where it needs to go, wrong again. he says "honey, I hate to tell you, but that isn't it". Somehow, well, suffice it to say I lost the supp, it melted all over the place.

oldcurlyrn49 · Mar 16, 2005

The funniest thing I heard was just yesterday. A mom of a 2week old baby

that was admitted for RSV, stated the baby had RSVP!

Roni_xx · Mar 17, 2005

It was my first posting as a new grad. I was dispensing evening medications to my patient assignment when Margaret the charge RN came running down the hall to me.

"Come quick" she said "I think one of your patients is dead."

To which I replied, "Not on my shift too much damn paper work."

Margaret gave me a scathing look as I followed her back down the hall to Flora's room.

There were two patients to each room.

Now Flora was an elderly lady of 87 years at that time and has by now passed on. She slept with her eyes and mouth open was extremely hard of hearing a shallow breather and not easy to palpate vitals.

Margaret stood on one side of Flora's bed taking her pulse while I stood on the other side bent over calling Flora's name each time getting louder. Flora, FLORA, FLORA .

The look on Margaret's face, she was aghast, her mouth hung open and when on the third time I called Flora's name practically yelling and Flora responded "WHAT??" I thought Margaret was going to hit the floor.

A few months later I came on for a day shift and my patient assignment again included Flora. I learnt in report that Flora's roommate Mary had passed away in the night. The doctor had been called to pronounce Mary dead but as yet had not arrived. As it turned out night staff had not thought to remove Flora from the room so she was still in bed asleep. As I said before, she slept with her eyes and mouth open was extremely hard of hearing a shallow breather and not easy to palpate vitals.

As I exited report the doctor came to find me saying he had just been in the room but he needed clarification as to "Which patient would I like him to pronounce dead?" Apparently he had been checking vitals on both patients for more than 5 minutes.

I have since moved on to other hospitals but when I left Flora was still going strong.

And before anyone asks yes these are true stories and in eleven years of nursing I still find them humorous.

ShirleyR · Mar 17, 2005

I remember when I first got out of nursing and worked nights on med/surg. This little elderly man was admitted to our floor with CHF. His wife was with him & was planning on staying the night in his room. The Doc had ordered 80 mg of lasix IM. Before administereing the lasix I placed a condom cath on ( my first). I gave him the lasix, explained the call bell system & made sure they were comfortable and told them I'd be in a little while later to check on him. I then went back to the nurse's station to start on my notes. About 30 minutes went by & the little gentleman's call light went off. Using to call intercom I asked, " How can I help you?'. The patient's wife timidly said, " Ma'am, this think you put on my husband is broken & it's making a mess everywhere." I had no clue as to what she was talking about, so a CNA & myself went right in to assess the situation. We get in his room & the patients little wife is sitting in the chair with her feet held up as to not touch the floor, she said, "Watch out you'll fall!" There was urine all over the floor. We get over to the patient and pull the covers back, expecting to see the condom off in the bed, but were we surprised!!! His member looked like a little water fountain & the condom cath held his testicles . The CNA immediately left the room, I appologized & started cleaning him up, One of the other nurses came to help with clean linens and a new condom cath. After the situation was controlled I went to the break area where the staff were at,almost lying in the floor laughing. I finally had to explain to them that I cound't find his member and had put all the wrinkly stuff inside the condom cath.

alvardalton · Mar 17, 2005

Working one night on a geriatric ward with a nursing student we were doing the "poo round" when we encountered that smell... Any nurse with some experience will know that if you can smell something at a distance its not good! Well, we went in to the LOL in NAD (little old lady in no apparent distress) and proceeded to change her. Half way through I was finding it tough to continue and before I could make comment the student left the room.....I did not know what to make of this, and was curious when the student came back moments later with a hudson mask! Before I could ask what this was for as the LOL was in NAD, the student connected the mask to the Oxygen and put it on himself!!! This still serves as a source of amusement and I wonder if it works!

Danianne · Mar 19, 2005

This is a little story about one of my favorite nurses. I was a patient a few months ago and I was totally barfing and such and lost alot of weight.... so they started me on a continuous NG feed of Jevity (that stuff tases so nasty!) anyways my NG came un plugged and my bed got all covered in Congealed Jevity and my NG got alll plugged and my nurse being the nice gal she is wanted to save me the discomfort of having a new one placed so she decided to get a can of coke and smoosh it down the tube well she put a little too much force into it and had her sillouette imposed on the privacy curtain and I got al really good laugh, she was awesome! we had some really good water fights in the mioddle of the night with the huge 60 ml syringes! :nurse: