Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 41

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from TDub
    Stomach elves.
    Is that what she said???
  2. by   tiggerforhim
    Quote from servant2
    Nurses have to put up with naughty words when the patient isn't responsible for saying them and to some extent even when they are, but we don't have to propogate the habit in our own behavior.

    Some people think dirty jokes are "adult" and funny; I don't, and I think it demeans nurses as I believe it demeans anyone to put low language or ideas in front of them.

    And, by the way, I'm no prude or shielded from life, I just think we can be better than that. And I think I have a sense of humor.

    One patient lived on a Medicare ward I worked, a young man, formerly a motorcyclist, now a quadraplegic requiring continuing care in the nursing home. He had some nurses or aides who brought him alchohol and other things. And since they thought, because of my faith, that I was an easy mark, they set me up one night in my care of him, to put something I needed for his care on top of his bare private parts. My professionalism didn't hide my embarrassment; I simply acknowledged that they "got" me and he still got his care.
    If we don't laugh at them, we'll end up crying. I too have a strong faith, but that doesn't mean I don't have a laugh at what I hear or see. If one has a problem with the thread, then one has a choice whether to read or not, no one's making you!

    Also, I love the stories, greensister! More, more, more!
  3. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from tiggerforhim
    If we don't laugh at them, we'll end up crying. I too have a strong faith, but that doesn't mean I don't have a laugh at what I hear or see. If one has a problem with the thread, then one has a choice whether to read or not, no one's making you!

    Also, I love the stories, greensister! More, more, more!
    Very well put. Thank you. And several nurses on this board know that I too am a strong Christian, but am definitely no prude.
  4. by   hospiceprn
    hi, this is a little humor in the middle of a family drama
    i was taking care of a pt's final paper work and getting ready to send my pt with the funeral home transport. i had family member coming in one by one to say their goodbyes, before the pt left the home for the last time and this paticular pt had a beloved pet who was left behind, an adorable dauschhound. between family members the dog got up on the bed and crawled under the sheet and laid down between the pt's legs very quiet and very still. i was busy counting narcotics and doing paper work and was only half aware of what was happening. the pt's eldest daughter came in to say goodbye. well, before i could look up from my paper work and warn the daughter, the pt's daughter was bending over to kiss the pt and the dog moved from under the sheets the daughter jumped up and screamed! when the dog popped out of the sheet, the entire family was in the room, saw what had happened and everyone was laughing hysterically. everyone had felt as though mom was, for one last time, cheering them up.
  5. by   obgingerrn
    My story is a true and strange story. I was working on a neuro unit in the mid 80's and has caring for a woman who shot herself in the head in an attempted suicide. She told me this story:
    The first time I tried to shot myself, I missed and the loud noise almost scared me to death. ( I thought the choice of words, unusual) Then I shot the gun again and it grazed my head and WOW did that hurt! (yeah! I bet) I climbed up the hill, as I was in the woods and flagged down a car for help.
  6. by   obgingerrn
    You know, I have a little Doxie and they love to sleep on their owners legs. How cute. The little dog probably knew.
  7. by   TDub
    I think dachshunds are very sensitive to that sort of thing. When my dad died (he died very suddenly) his doxie stood guard on his chest and wouldn't let the EMTs get near his body. Duke snarled and gnashed his teeth and they had to throw a towel over him to whisk him away from my dad.


    These 3 big burly guys were afraid of a 5 lb dog.

    My stepmother had Duke's portrait engraved on Dad's tombstone.
    Last edit by TDub on Nov 8, '07
  8. by   RNcDreams
    Quote from nursey_girl
    while prescepting a new OB nurse to our unit, we had the pleasure of taking care of a young asian woman who spoke little, if any english. Her husband remained at bedside as we got her to complete. Now to explain pushing! My orientee worked hard as are little asian squatted using a birthing bar. Our lil patient just stared at us obviously wore out. "poo poo", "doo doo", "hocky"!!! ..Over and over my lil orientee urged, complete with squatting and grunting gestures. Suddenly our patient leaned into her husband and whispered....To our amusement, the husband loudly exclaimed..."SHE SAY SHE HAVVA CHIT!!!!" ..."Yes", my orientee started jumping, and shouting..."CHIT..!!!CHIT!!!

    there are tears coming out of my eyes I am laughing so hard!!
  9. by   santhony44
    Quote from tiggerforhim
    If we don't laugh at them, we'll end up crying. I too have a strong faith, but that doesn't mean I don't have a laugh at what I hear or see. If one has a problem with the thread, then one has a choice whether to read or not, no one's making you!

    I agree completely. When I see threads I think are going to get my blood pressure up, I just don't read those.

    And I've found that patients, like kids, sometimes say the darndest things!!
  10. by   santhony44
    A middle-aged male came in to the clinic with headache. His BP was something like 230/120. Gave meds in the clinic, got it down some, gave a script (along with a fairly blunt lecture on the order of "if you don't get your BP down you're gonna die!")

    He came back in one week, as instructed. BP was better but not "there yet." Added a second med to the first. He came back in another week, BP was still better but still not quite at target. So, I added another med, a Beta Blocker.

    He came back in another week and his BP was just right! I walked in and commented "Your pressure is great, how do you feel?"

    "My d**k's broke!" This was documented as "the patient reports erectile dysfunction on the metoprolol."

    Well, stop that one, add another one.

    One week later, everything is working properly, and his BP is 120/70!!
  11. by   Marisaej
    can be very disconcertening!! prepped male pt for urology surgery only to find small black spider(with possability of turning into turantula!!)
  12. by   TDub
    Oh my goodness, WHERE?!?!?
  13. by   sanctuary
    How could a small spider turn into a TARANTULA??? And where was it hiding??? And how did he not feel it???

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