Orders you wish you could have written in the chart...

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Transplant, Education.

I was taking a TO from a doctor one night, and because of our unit being in transition (we are expanding a few more rooms, so my charts are split between two nursing stations), I was having to run down one end of the hall to read him something, and then he'd ask for something else on another pt so I had to go back down the other nursing station to get it, etc, so I was sending calls back and forth from one phone to another. He told me "Katie, we need to get you some roller skates!" Wish I could have written that in the TO--"Please provide RN with roller skates" :lol2:

This doc can really get on a roll....that same night we were dealing with a difficult patient who continually refused CXRs and was running a temp. "Well, send her out to the ER, and maybe never admit her again."

So, what orders do you WISH you could have written as a telephone order??

Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.

Ooooh, the night I had a VERY agitated, combative, driving me and every other employee crazy, patient. The doc told me to give her an Ativan and 2 for each of the nurses. Wish I could've written that, lol.

Give him 650mg of tylenol and 300cc of Main Street.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Tele, DOU.

  1. Remove all snacks from bedside table.
  2. Xanax .25mg po q 12h prn anxiety for patient and staff members who are twitching after caring for patient.
  3. Each time nurse needs xanax please give it to the patient.
  4. Posey vest all administrators to bedside of angry psychotic or confused patients and their family members.
  5. Please keep emergency exit alarms on so this patient doesn't jump off the building like the last one.

Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

"Give Ativan 2 mg. IV Q 30 mins. to 400-lb pt in DTs and 4-points. The nurse may have all she wants."

Specializes in ED.

I would love to have a standing discharge instruction sheet made out for one of my frequent flyers so we can just give him an ekg for cya purposes, give him his instructions and send him back out. Or perhaps if the paramedics responding to his call for a "ride" could just do it and leave him at home it would be a great help

Specializes in Med/Surg.

Four point restrains for all psychotic combative patients. With ativan q 2 hours per any route managable standing order

Specializes in Oncology.
  1. Remove all snacks from bedside table.
  2. Xanax .25mg po q 12h prn anxiety for patient and staff members who are twitching after caring for patient.
  3. Each time nurse needs xanax please give it to the patient.
  4. Posey vest all administrators to bedside of angry psychotic or confused patients and their family members.
  5. Please keep emergency exit alarms on so this patient doesn't jump off the building like the last one.

OH MY GOSH these are GREAT!!! LOLOL!!

Specializes in PACU, ED.

Ativan 1mg po to pt's spouse prn nurse's frustration

Specializes in Critical care, neuroscience, telemetry,.

Extubate and give pt. a beer. (No, that was an actual order.....)

Place nicoderm patch on head, shoulder, arm, etc....(I was actually writing all of this down before the Chinese surgeon realized I wasn't in on the joke and said, "No! Just one!")

Ignore the swan numbers and do not treat. (Yeah, wonder how that one will go over in a court of law in 5 years.....)

Stop calling me! The patient is going to die! ("And the code status would be.....")

Ignore the BP and don't call me again unless she's coding. I just said "Alright, I'll just chart that verbatim." and hung up.

Specializes in PACU, ED.
Ignore the BP and don't call me again unless she's coding. I just said "Alright, I'll just chart that verbatim." and hung up.

Wow, what a jerk! I did a callback where the pt. had an obvious spinal headache. The pt's wife had called the surgeon's office and didn't get a callback. The surgeon's office had called the anesthesiologist hours before but he hadn't called the pt. I let the surgeon know that the anesthesiologist still hadn't called the pt. and he had a little Dr. to Dr. chat. :chuckle

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