More Evidence That This World Is Full Of Complete Idiots:

Nurses Humor

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Specializes in LTC.

1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

2. A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans off each other's head.

3. A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room. Thirteen others fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling off a chair while watching the film.

4. The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

6. Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page morificecript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.

7. A convict broke out of jail in Washington DC, then a few days later accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged. Police officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

8. Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

9. When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.

10. A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a steam roller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

Specializes in Me Surge.

5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

QUOTE]

I also know of another story. A brick fell off a two story building. Minutes later that corner was swarming with people all claiming to have been injured!

Specializes in Psychiatric.
5. A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

QUOTE]

I also know of another story. A brick fell off a two story building. Minutes later that corner was swarming with people all claiming to have been injured!

wow....can these people produce offspring??? LOL

wow....can these people produce offspring??? LOL

Yes, that's why this world is full of idiots.

Specializes in Inpatient Acute Rehab.
1. Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

This one really scared me :no:

But at least the gene pool is closed in his case :chuckle

LONDON (Reuters) - A Welsh rugby fan cut off his own testicles to celebrate Wales beating England at rugby, the Daily Mirror reported Tuesday.

Geoff Huish, 26, was so convinced England would win Saturday's match he told fellow drinkers at a social club, "If Wales win I'll cut my balls off," the paper said.

Friends at the club in Caerphilly, south Wales, thought he was joking.

But after the game Huish went home, severed his testicles with a knife, and walked 200 yards back to the bar with the testicles to show the shocked drinkers what he had done.

Huish was taken to hospital where he remained in serious condition, the paper said.

Wales's 11-9 victory over England at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff was their first home win over England in 12 years.

Sorry to double dip :coollook: but I got sent some more, these are good :rotfl:

ONE. Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the

menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12

Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

"We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager

at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have

six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't

order a half dozen nuggets, but I can

order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and

ordered six McNuggets.

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TWO. I was checking out at the local Walmart with

just a few items and the lady behind me put her things

on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those

"dividers" that they keep by the cash register and

placed it between our things so they wouldn't get

mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she

picked up the "divider," looking it all over for the

bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar

code she said to me, "Do you know how

much this is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I

don't think I'll buy that today." She said "OK," and I

paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to

what had just happened.

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THREE. A lady at work was seen putting a credit card

into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she

was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for

a credit card number, so she was using the ATM

"thingy."

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FOUR. I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping

beside her car "Do you need some help?" I asked. She

replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to

this remote door unlocked. Now I can't get into my

car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant

convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?" I asked.

"No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing

it and the car keys to me. As I

took the key and manually unlocked the door, I

replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check

about the batteries. It's a long walk."

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FIVE. Several years ago, we had an Intern who was

none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a

secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper.

What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the

secretary told her. With that, the intern took her

last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the

photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

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SIX. My neighbor works in the operations department

in the central office of a large bank. Employees in

the field call him when they have problems with their

computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one

of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got

smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys

have a fire downtown?"

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SEVEN. Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect

by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting

it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message

"He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police

pressed the copy button each time they thought the

suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the"lie

detector" was working, the suspect confessed.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

:uhoh3: All I can say is "Thank the Lord there's a better world a'comin!!!"

If you really want to laugh, goto http://www.darwinawards.com and then you really get to see the stupidity of people. On the Nursing unit I work on, I sware there is at least one pt per shift that is in the hospital for stupidity. Since my training to be a nurse has began, I have become absolutly convinced that people are stupid. And I do add myself to that list as well, because like everyone in the world, I have done things that if I had actually thought about it, I wouldn't have done it in the first place.

I refuse to give the self incriminating evidence of my own stupidity. But that is about being human.

Adam SN

Graduating June 16, 2005

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