I've got one about hearing. This is supposedly a true story.
An elderly man was admitted to the ER with CHF. The ER did not have seperate treatment rooms, only curtains separating one bed from the next, so there wasn't much privacy.
The doc. put the patient on I.V. lasix. Shortly the nurse came by, and asked the pt. if he needed to pee.
"What's that?" asked the patient, in a loud voice.
"Do you need to PEE?" repeated the nurse.
"I can't hear you...stop mumbling!"
This scenario repeated itself several times, and patients and staff were all starting to smile at the exchange, as it got louder. Finally the nurse put her mouth right next to the man's ear, and shouted: "DO YOU NEED TO URINATE??"
The man shot her an angry look. "No," he replied in a loud voice, "I DON'T NEED A HEARING AID!!"