Funny things patients say ! - Page 8Register Today!
- Nov 12, '10 by AltaEnfermeraOur patients are primarily psych, with a few of the requisite LOLs thrown in for added excitement. One woman has recently become fascinated with hanging out in my office door and talking to me/staring while I work. She basically speaks in neologisms and/or sounds, but the other day in the middle of one of her monologues, she stopped and said "But you don't want to put too much in the pancreas; if you do, it'll burst, and then you'll need glasses!" It was totally random. I lol'd hard.
- Nov 13, '10 by sairin8One pt (in a long term mental health facility) was complaining about the state of things and how no one loves her or appreciates her. A staff member asked her what would help. "Sex with a handsome sailor man, him on top, me on the bottom" was the immediate reply
- Nov 17, '10 by FutureNurs93when i was working in a LTC facility over the summer, one of the residents i worked with was quite the smarty...she had a IDC but would ask about every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom. so i would get her up and take her...every 15 minutes...finally i asked her why she always had to go the bathroom when she had an IDC. she told me that she had to pass gas. when i tried to explain that she could do that in her chair and no one would know, she explained to me that she "couldn't sit on the bubble"!!!!!
- Dec 8, '10 by RexNYCWhile in the stepdown one of my patient's IV pumps started beeping & displaying a "BAG NEAR EMPTY" warning.
My patient said, "'Bag near empy.' What does that mean?"
I replied, "That the bag is near empty."
We both looked at each other like the other one had 3 heads. I still chuckle when I think about that.
- Dec 8, '10 by LaterAlligatorI work in a dementia facility, and one of my residents asked "How much older than me are you?" (I'm 28, she's in her eighties). I answered that I wasn't sure, but I'm 28 now, how about you? She replied that she's 13 and 28 is really old. Very cute!
- Dec 9, '10 by CourtcattAn older guy that tends to yell at all the staff and refuses to eat and take his meds constantly... decided he likes me.. So when I feed him he eats his whole meal..except one thing...his ensure milkshake...when I told him hes "sooo close to finishing everything except his milkshake" his response was, "I dont like that shi*, it gives me the runs". I couldnt help but laugh...I said, "Yah... I dont like that either"
- Dec 15, '10 by CinquefoilI work in an Assisted Living Facility, and was giving meds to one particularly sweet and gracious older lady. She wanted to know what pills I was giving her. She correctly ID'ed one by herself and pointed to the other one. "Now that one, I can never remember what it's for."
It was Aricept/Donezepil! I told her that was exactly what it was for, and we both busted up laughing
- Dec 29, '10 by sevensonnetsI had a patient with only one leg who kept trying to get out of bed without his prosthesis. Found him in a heap on his mat one more time. He goes, "Before you say anything maam, I did not fall. It was a controlled landing."