Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories

Nurses Humor

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I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine:

  • climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already occupied by the resident it belonged to--they were both sleeping in there!!
  • putting pajamas in the toilet, then having an extra-large BM right on top of them
  • taking a cup that had some medication mixed in juice, then turning to the person sitting next to her and saying "here, you can have this"--fortunately I was able to take it back before the other resident could get a hold of it
  • wandering around in the hall and grabbing people's butts
  • blowing nose into a tissue, then using same tissue to "clean" nurse's station counter :barf02:

What other funny/crazy things have you guys seen dementia patients do?

Specializes in Acute Care, Rehab, Palliative.

I had one gent ring in the middle of the night.When i went in and asked him what he needed he held up his catheter,pulled out and demanded to know whos it was and where all the blood came from.

Specializes in LTC.

Me: "Ohh look! Your daughter just called! She'll be in tomorrow, how nice!"

LOL: "Well you and her can just go **** your ***** with a broke beer bottle for all I care."

Me: "Well then."

Specializes in Med-Surg.

When i was in LTC, the administrator used to like dropping by unannounced. One morning she walked in while I was in the dining room with all my residents. One of my LOLs with dementia calls me over to her table, which happened to be by the dining room entrance, as the administrator walks in. She very loudly asks "Who the hell is the uptight ***** and who invited her over to dinner?" Needless to say, the admin never showed up during meals again....:lol2:

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
When i was in LTC, the administrator used to like dropping by unannounced. One morning she walked in while I was in the dining room with all my residents. One of my LOLs with dementia calls me over to her table, which happened to be by the dining room entrance, as the administrator walks in. She very loudly asks "Who the hell is the uptight ***** and who invited her over to dinner?" Needless to say, the admin never showed up during meals again....:lol2:
:rotfl::yeah:
Specializes in Hospice.

Funniest thing I ever saw (so far) - this LOL took out her top dentures, put them on top of her head and wrapped her hair around them. With one hand holding her new "hairdo" in place, she wandered arounding looking for a barrette or bobby pin to keep her creation from falling down.

Another LOL had placed a small bowl with some food in it on the floor by the bed. When I asked about it she said it was for the cat, "He's under the bed and won't come out." I told her the cat was fine under the bed and he'd come out when he was ready. When she forgot about the cat, I removed the bowl.

Specializes in Surgical/MedSurg/Oncology/Hospice.

I work on a Surgery/Med-Surg floor, midnights. I was relieving the sitter for a 90-ish year old little old lady (she was the devil incarnate: biting, kicking, swearing, pulling at lines, etc) who kept going on a rant about "turn off those ********* lights, I'm not paying the Edison bill this month if you don't!"...we had her door open a little just to have enough light to properly keep an eye on her, and we couldn't dim the hall lights completely (certain ones automatically stay on for emergency purposes).

Last week the same woman was in again (the family she went home with wasn't able to deal with her at home after all...no surprise there)...this time she wasn't my assignment, but I did have to go running to find the soft restraints when her RN and the sitter couldn't keep her from pulling at her lines or kicking/hitting and biting them, not to mention swearing a blue-streak at the top of her lungs for the entire unit to hear! :p

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..
Funniest thing I ever saw (so far) - this LOL took out her top dentures, put them on top of her head and wrapped her hair around them. With one hand holding her new "hairdo" in place, she wandered arounding looking for a barrette or bobby pin to keep her creation from falling down.
:yeah:Just gotta love them.
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I had two confused patient is a double room. We "Lost" bed 2's dentures. We stripped the room, we went through the trash, we went to the kitchen and dumpster dived....to no avail. :sniff: When we returned to the room we saw bed 1 struggling to drink through the straw...when I called her name she turned and looked at me.....low and behold!!!! Guess where the teeth were?? In bed 1's mouth. Bed one had put both dentures in he mouth..:eek:...now try to remove the second pair of dentures from an agitated confused patient. As we tried to pry them from her mouth....... she beat us with the kleenex box, we were laughing ss hard we almost couldn't stand up.:lol2: Eventually, we convinced her to let us brush her teeth before the next meal and got both set out. I will never forget the look of all teeth on this 90lb little lady hell bent with fire so we couldn't steal her teeth.:D

Specializes in PDN; Burn; Phone triage.

lol. I just found this thread!

Older pt with dementia and alcoholism.

"I'm thirsty!"

"Okay, X. What do you want to drink?"

"I'll take some Jameson, honey."

"You can't have any alcohol. You're in the hospital. What else do you want?"

"Oh, okay. How about you take a shot of Jameson for me and I'll have some orange juice."

"Sounds great!"

Get him some OJ. He takes a big ol' swig of it and then dramatically announces: "This orange juice is better than crack cocaine!"

--

He also referred to this female nurse that we have who is about 6'5", 350 lbs, and a bit on the...ahem...mannish side as the "finest white honey that [he'd] ever seen." The compliment really made her day!

the woman in the other bed in my grandma's nursing home room, had severe dementia and had forgotten

her english, speaking either german or lapsing into yiddish at times. grandma had taught german.

grandma had advanced parkinson's and and was essentially nonverbal most of the time. her roommate was still mobile and frequently got lost outside her room. she'd call "mary! mary! i can't find my way home!" and grandma would patiently count the steps until she was "home" again.

.

i love this! what a cute story!

HAd two screamer across the hall from each other. Screamer one kept calling out, "Marge, Marge, Where is my wife? I want my wife!" all night long. Apparently screamer two had enough and yelled out, "Dammit *****! Your wife is dead! Now Shut the *** up!"

After that guy one started crying. While we were in there to calm him down and tell him his wife is fine, the guy across the hall shouted at him to "man up and stop being such a p**** about it!"

Poor guy!

4.Went into a room, sniffed- Obviously my confused LOL had had a large result from that Miralax. Flipped the light on, to find that she had taken her poop out of the brief and "decorated" the curtain ala cave dwelling paintings. That, dear friends, is where the term "Free-range curtain turds" came from.

I just laughed so hard I've got people staring at me. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

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