Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories - page 10

by Angie O'Plasty 73,577 Views | 118 Comments

I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine: -climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already... Read More


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    I had a pt tell me that cats don't speak English, so you have to speak "cat" to get them to listen. She then proceeded to demonstrate how to speak cat. She also said she'd give her cat a bath in the shower, but would tell the cat it's raining so the cat wouldn't get too mad. She'd get in the shower with the cat and they'd both get clean. Also, when her goldfish died, she wouldn't flush it down the toilet because the goldfish was probably playing dead and it would drown if you flushed it. Yes, the fish would drown in the toilet. Anyway, when her goldfish died, she'd put it down the garbage disposal to make sure it's dead.
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    OK, not an Alzheimer's patient... well it is one of his diagnoses but I really don't notice it in him at all. He's HOH even WITH his hearing aides & he had them out. I asked him if he needed help opening his banana. He acted like he hadn't heard me so I picked it up and pointed to the top and repeated myself even louder. He replied "You're single ain't you?" I looked at him confused & said "Do you want me to open this for you?" He replied "I can tell because of the way you picked that thing up, if you was married you would have grabbed it like this" , and grabbed it with his whole hand. I had picked it up with two fingers and a thumb. I began to blush, he said "Gotchya. I can do it myself" I said "good night" and left the room (it was about 9pm, I had been in his room giving HS meds). Upon leaving the room one of the CNAs saw me and asked if I was ok, I started to tell the story and she laughed and said "Yeah he's pulled that one on me a few times" She is most definitely NOT single, she's married with teenage kids! LOL. I don't know whether or not he knows it.
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    Quote from Misslady113
    Once.. I gave a resident her healthshake. She lookd at the box and it said "shake well". She looked at it curiously and said to me,"well it must not be working. Its not shaking at all."

    Had another resident who claimed their was a young white boy in his room from his school.so I went along with it and continued cleaning him. When I went to clean his rear he jumped and shouted at me,"He's there,he's there!" I said ,"Where?!!" He's says, "In my BUTT!!!"

    One resident used to curse Obama every night. Saying he did nothing for her and her family. She used to yell through the nusing home about how much she hated him. I went into her room to tel her to quiet down a bit. She looks at me,threw her leg into the air, opened her crotch explicitly with both hands and said, " Go on *****, go the **** on *****," in her southern accent. I took that as she wanted me to leave and kindly exited the room.lol
    I'm literally loling. This is too funny. Especially the last part.
    Last edit by Esme12 on Jan 21, '13
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    Quote from Franemtnurse
    I just love those alzheimers patients.
    Yeah, so do I since my Mom has Alzheimers. These are your patients but it's a lot different if your loved one suffers from the disease. My laughter when she does these strange things is because if I didn't I would be spending my time crying.
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    I used to work on the Alzheimer's unit at a LTC facility and one lady everyday never wanted to be toileted she would always tell me she's not a baby and can do it herself ( which she was unable, she could walk and go to the bathroom but never changed her dirty brief) so usually the always had "sharts" in her brief lol So I told her: Me: we need to change your undies there dirty LOL: no there not I'm not a baby go away Me: no look they have poop on them. You see it LOL: well I do now these aren't my underwear and you put that there Needless to say she was hilarious. We did this every single day... Another resident once told me LOl: get me my purse over there. That's my purse ( points to a dining room chair) Me: that's a chair ma'am That can't be your purse LOL: well I have a purse that looks just like that! She was adorable. We taught her to do the sprinkler
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    I was still on work experience in aged care and we had a resident who would not allow a man to shower her (I'm a woman with short hair ) so I went in there and she said you can't shower me, you're a man, I said no I'mNot I'm a woman, she said no you're a man, I said look I gave boobs I'm a woman,she said well you gave a mans face, so I said I'm a woman, I have kids! She said, well, you could be their father!!! Lol
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    We had floor-to-ceiling windows that faced the state highway on our gero-psych unit (HUGE architectural mistake- but I'm getting ahead of myself). ANYWAY - local company donated a gigantic artificial Christmas tree which took up the whole window. It was really pretty.
    Started getting calls one night about a 'woman in the window'. Yep, a patient was buck nekkid, smashed between the tree and the window entertaining the passers-by.
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    [QUOTE=Poochiewoochie;7129504]Yeah, so do I since my Mom has Alzheimers. These are your patients but it's a lot different if your loved one suffers from the disease. My laughter when she does these strange things is because if I didn't I would be spending my time crying.[/QUOTE)
    I don't know of any other way you could cope--I'm sending a hug your way. A dear friend of mine lost her mom to the disease-she said it was like 15 year wake.
  9. 1
    Was bending over the patient to do something so my face was pretty close to the patient's, and he said, "You look like Adolf Hitler from here" I'm a 23 year old Italian female, so don't think I do, but joked to my coworkers that I must have let my lip fuzz get a little out of control. :P This is one of the only things I heard this man say...
    DeLanaHarvickWannabe likes this.
  10. 5
    This story is not mine, but a friend told it to me, My friend is Alejandro, he has a deep voice.

    He works on a medsurg floor at the hospital down the road. Alejandro is a little bit crazy, as is the unit he works on.
    He had a demented patient who kept ringing the call bell. Alejandro used the phone to answer it and asked, "Hello, what do you need?"
    The confused patient replied, "Jesus is that you?" To this, alejandro replied "Yes it's me, now go to sleep"


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