Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

While doing Critical Care Medevac's
"Risks of transfer: Stretcher crash."
Hey I guess if that's you biggest worry when you going to be flown 400 miles at 20,000 feet through Interior Alaska, Rock On

Doc couldn't find the patient's weight on the chart. Order....

"Write patient's daily weight on door."

Ummm, yeah, HIPPA's gonna love that one.

I had a co-worker telling us about her work at a small hospital that had only a house doc, no intensivist in house. Pt having seizures, house doc wanted no part of him. She called intensivist at home at 2AM, only to be hung up on several times, then the doc left the phone off the hook. She sent the sheriff to his house, and received a phone call back from the doc with the order to "give ativan till patient stops seizing or stops breathing."

Gadzooks!

I have also had a resident renew IVF on a patient he'd just pronounced. Hmmmm, some kind of new autopsy in the works here, doc??

Same resident ordered IV Murine for post op pain following eye surgery. Asked him if meant morphine, and he said, "no, shouldn't we use EYE drops for EYE pain, nurse?" DUH!!!

Wow! those are some Dillies!!!

here's a recent one: For a pt who had a recent GT insertion:
"All po meds via GT"

oh really?? the Nystatin Swish & Swallow po 5 cc qid too???

under H+P
The pt.will need serial examination of her liver function tests, amylase and lipase to look for spontaneous vaginal stones.

A favorite Dr., when contacted for a resident we nurses had just about had it with----v.o. "Guess you'll have to use the Tobas method." (Of course we had to ask.) "Take out back and shoot!"

Change sheets on patient's bed q day

i don't even wanna tell you the image that this gem evoked

In the ER on a gyn/abd pain, UNDRESS PATIENT
I about threw that chart across the room. How about looking at the patient before you write stupid orders.