Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 83

by nilepoc | 411,145 Views | 829 Comments

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did... Read More


  1. 2
    Quote from RN77
    As a recent patient, I was horrified to see how little is done for the patients, that used to be routine care. Backrubs help a patient relax before bedtime, promote sleep/rest and decrease pain. It's also a wonderful time to TALK (remember that) to your patients. The ONLY times I ever saw a licensed person was when they did an assessment each shift (some of these were pretty pathetic) and when meds were given. The PCA (Aides) did everything else and, even then, I had to ask for my bed to be changed and for towels to wash up with. No offered to wash my back, leave alone rub it.
    "Back in the day" we (nurses) would pass fresh ice water and a clean towel/wash cloth to all patients after visitors left on evening shift. Backrubs were offered to all and accepted by most patients. Patients used these towels/wash cloths to freshen up before bed or for first thing in the am, before regular linen was passed.
    How did we have the time? We just did. We did not have computers to help us chart (everything done by hand), med doses were often not individual doses....we actually had to pour pills out of bottles, and we checked on our patients AT LEAST three times per shift, in person. It seems like today's nurses are losing the "art" of nursing. With everything computerized and simplified, nurses should have even MORE time to spend with direct patient care and tending to the "little" things that mean so much!
    When I was doing home health, a few years ago, I actually had a patient start to cry when I asked if I could sit on the chair in her room. Upon further investigation, she told me that none of the other nurses had ever bothered to sit down with her. "They're always in such a rush," she said.
    Ladies and gentlemen....slow down and give your patients the time and attention they deserve. It will change your life when you actually TALK to them!!
    OK, bring on the rebuttals!

    I have only been a nurse for 3 years and I truly love to communicate with my patients and treat them as human beings, smile, talk, laugh together, even a few tears together. When I can, I rub backs or legs (if no DVT's of course..), french braid hair. I always run late during the day because I do spend time with my patients.
    I don't agree with what you said about computers making things easier and faster. At my hospital they have doubled our tasks (that are not patient related) since I have started working there. Between the new screens that they add every few weeks that will "just take a few minutes more to do", to the audits and phone calls to patients about customer service surveys. There is a new audit for telephone orders because the doctors are not signing off on the TORB's quick enough. Every time we take a telephone order the order must be flagged then logged in a book. I take telephone orders ALL DAY especially if a patient is going down hill, so the more busy I am paging doctors and taking, writing down, flagging, and logging telephone orders this is time away from patients. All of this extra stuff we have to do is nonsense to me and it makes me bitter and burned out. I am only 3 years in and I have days where I don't want to go to work and am not happy. I LOVE working with patient's and their famalies and helping them in all areas but I HATE all the extra stuff. I think computerized charting has made it worse...
    Thanks for letting me vent. Sigh.. I feel beter. I love this website and all my fellow nurses/friends here.
    JZ_RN and Hygiene Queen like this.
  2. 1
    Quote from fantasyworld
    Transcribed in progress note....
    "fireballs of the eucharist" (fibroids of the uterus)
    "screaming mighty jesus" (fibromeningitis)
    This one made me laugh out loud.
    20 years ago I worked in medical records. I remember one dictated report, a 12 year old kid was stung inside his mouth by bees because he was sucking bees up in a straw and spitting them at people.
    sharpeimom likes this.
  3. 0
    Brown cow per rectum Q4H prn. Milk and molasses enema
  4. 3
    "Neurovitals hourly"

    On a patient who spoke only German (we're near Ottawa, Ont., so some of us speak french, but no german), was severely demented and had no eyeballs.

    We still haven't figured out exactly how to manage that one.
  5. 0
    Kid you not, this was a real order for a patient transferred to the MedSurg unit from the MICU:

    Call MD if patient passes (dies).

    We all couldn't stop laughing.
  6. 4
    I am a home care nurse and this was not an order but an email from a therapist to me. We have Samsung Tab's for charting and she was using the "text to speech" function
    "ideally family would consider giving me a whore and hiring a full time caregiver"
    (she meant the family should get a hoyer lift)
    I literally laughed very loudly out loud at this one!
  7. 1
    This isn't an order but too good not to share somewhere. I got a new admit yesterday, and when I was looking up his information I found out that his primary medical diagnosis was "Accident related to a firearm missile." What ever happened to GSW?
    FranEMTnurse likes this.
  8. 0
    Quote from cathrn64
    I am a home care nurse and this was not an order but an email from a therapist to me. We have Samsung Tab's for charting and she was using the "text to speech" function
    "ideally family would consider giving me a whore and hiring a full time caregiver"
    (she meant the family should get a hoyer lift)
    I literally laughed very loudly out loud at this one!
    What a hoot! Thanks for sharing.
  9. 2
    Quote from RN77
    As a recent patient, I was horrified to see how little is done for the patients, that used to be routine care. Backrubs help a patient relax before bedtime, promote sleep/rest and decrease pain. It's also a wonderful time to TALK (remember that) to your patients. The ONLY times I ever saw a licensed person was when they did an assessment each shift (some of these were pretty pathetic) and when meds were given. The PCA (Aides) did everything else and, even then, I had to ask for my bed to be changed and for towels to wash up with. No offered to wash my back, leave alone rub it.
    "Back in the day" we (nurses) would pass fresh ice water and a clean towel/wash cloth to all patients after visitors left on evening shift. Backrubs were offered to all and accepted by most patients. Patients used these towels/wash cloths to freshen up before bed or for first thing in the am, before regular linen was passed.
    How did we have the time? We just did. We did not have computers to help us chart (everything done by hand), med doses were often not individual doses....we actually had to pour pills out of bottles, and we checked on our patients AT LEAST three times per shift, in person. It seems like today's nurses are losing the "art" of nursing. With everything computerized and simplified, nurses should have even MORE time to spend with direct patient care and tending to the "little" things that mean so much!
    When I was doing home health, a few years ago, I actually had a patient start to cry when I asked if I could sit on the chair in her room. Upon further investigation, she told me that none of the other nurses had ever bothered to sit down with her. "They're always in such a rush," she said.
    Ladies and gentlemen....slow down and give your patients the time and attention they deserve. It will change your life when you actually TALK to them!!
    OK, bring on the rebuttals!

    LOL I have 50 patients. All to myself. I'd like to see you manage their med pass let alone have time to give them all backrubs. You need an rx order for a reality check! No offense but your job must have been a cakewalk compared to nursing now!
  10. 1
    Quote from JZ_RN

    LOL I have 50 patients. All to myself. I'd like to see you manage their med pass let alone have time to give them all backrubs. You need an rx order for a reality check! No offense but your job must have been a cakewalk compared to nursing now!
    Seriously I could not agree more. You are out of touch with reality if you think there's time to be giving back rubs.
    Simba&NalasMom likes this.


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