Charting Bloopers

How about "patient D/C home in wheelchair, voiding excellently."

I LOVE that one and giggle about it at odd moments (and yes, I do have quite a few odd moments). It conjures a mental picture of the little fire boats welcoming a big ship into harbor - all those water jets spraying into the air.

Love

Dennie

just last night i was reading a doctor's h&p...well, the last three words were pleasant octagenarian female?!?!?!?! yes the patient was 88 years old, but a generation every ten years? maybe he meant octadecadarian?!!

Oh, my!!!!!!!!!!!! Micro

We often infuse antibiotics thru a 3way foley that then drains to a bedside drainage bag -- it's called a bladder irigation. Mostly seen with amphotericin B but sometimes even with Vanco. It's really no different than when the dialysis team uses antibiotics to wash thru the patient.

Foleys are sometimes inserted into a nare...to stop a nose bleed

Uh, that's true, Lilli, but if you read a little further down the thread you would have found out the patient was a little old lady with SOB....

I loved the response to the above:

"Maybe that explains the SOB. Should have just straight cathed that nare!....."

While working at our local Psychiatric Hospital many years ago (when nursing was still fun) I had a patient who had lost his shoes a few days prior. Well this particular day he was acting odder than usual so we checked him for an impaction. It was charted like this 'Checked for impaction, shoe found' OH MY!!!

In a recent H&P: The patient has a history of alcohol abuse and an accident while in a coma.
Our unit secretary took off a Diprivan order as Tritrate to seduction.
On an axid order she wrote Acid 150 mg PO BID.
We had a neurologist called in for a pt. with a head bleed. The doc realized he had met this patient earlier that day when they had a minor MV accident with each other. His 3 page consultation detailed the entire fender bender and what they did afterwards. Maybe 2 lines were about his assessment and plan!
Another nurse I worked with signed off her notes really early one am, you know, on her stable pt. She ended up putting a line thru the pt. resting comfotably, report given line and put error, see code notes.
A new medical resident from a foreign country wrote fat old man instead of obese, elderly man.

I took care of a bedbound patient once who was just a litttle bit eccentric. She was perfectly well groomed, no bedsores, had round the clock sitters but wouldn't let anyone touch her feet. The H&P ended with this line..."And she has the longest toenails I've ever seen in my whole life"

Absolutely hilarious!
I'm laughing like crazy in here!