Charting Bloopers - page 32

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill: "Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory... Read More

  1. by   TowferD
    how about...instill 2 and 1/2 gtts OD q4h?

    The nursing home was in the middle of survey at the time and the doc was in no way impressed with the state. He wrote the order on purpose!
  2. by   NotReady4PrimeTime
    Quote from TowferD
    how about...instill 2 and 1/2 gtts OD q4h?

    The nursing home was in the middle of survey at the time and the doc was in no way impressed with the state. He wrote the order on purpose!
    I LOVE IT!!!!! I could see myself doing something like that! I often put little comments in my charting just see if anybody reads the notes... One of our intensivists came to me one day laughing because she'd read this: "Dr. A popped by to see Baby J for a cuddle and a tickle." Another time I wrote in a teenage girls notes: "M engaged in spirited discussion with writer on merits of pink lip gloss over peach." The girl loved it. Don't know what our manager thought.
  3. by   nightnurse7
    Pts with amputations having equal pulses to affected extremities. Can you have phantom pulses like you have phantom pain?
  4. by   alesamayi
    One of our CV surgeons was charting and dictating at an alcove I was charting. He said - either I was having a really bad day or the transcriptioinist was having even a worse day - the typed notes indicated that "Mrs.S" has an ELECTRON MICROSCOPE on her sternum. Dr. B trying to imagine the size of such microscope being on her sternum totally dissolved this man to tears!! It was hilarious!!!!
  5. by   Thedreamer
    Im an LPN student. This was a morning I was doing clinical on a med/surg floor.

    Report from the nurse included all the usuals, meds, dx, ect. At the end she simple said while walking away, "Oh and he REALLY likes baths!"

    Well after I had taken care of everything I figured I would help the CNA out and change his linens and give him a bath. He was able to ambulate quite well but requested I bed bath him. I did section by section till I got to his groin area. I then asked him if he would like to wash himself so that I didnt invade his privacy. He looked at me quite bright eyed and said, "Fella, that'll be the 4th person to play with me in years, so you go on right ahead, Ill just watch."

    So I charted my nursing note at the very end, "Bed bath given and thoroughly enjoyed" The RN got a kick outta that

    Always fun to make light of an awkward situation hehe.
  6. by   SweetieRN
    A new charting blooper written by a pediatrician that was attending the delivery of a preterm infant: "infant delivered via c-section with apgars of 8 and 9 with no signs of being dressed".
    Last edit by SweetieRN on Mar 27, '07
  7. by   Rizpah
    Quote from daisie
    I work in a nursing home. The other night one of my aids called me over the call and said, "Mr. ____ has a bad rash on his prenatal area and needs some cream." I was laughing so hard and she came out of the room and said, "Are you laughing at me?" I could only shake my head 'yes.' I finally explained to her what prenatal was and told her she meant perineum.

    I have a hard time with my new nurse's aides with using correct terminology - instead of saying peri-care or perineum - they often say perinneal care. I don't think we're doing gardening here folks! (and certainly more than just once a year!)
  8. by   grace90
    I once had a patient that I reported off as being on 'Lasix precautions' instead of 'Latex precautions'!
  9. by   santhony44
    Quote from nightnurse7
    Pts with amputations having equal pulses to affected extremities. Can you have phantom pulses like you have phantom pain?
    I had a patient once who had q4 hour neuro checks. He'd been on the floor for several shifts already.

    Got my little penlight, checked his eyes. Hmm, something odd about that left eye- I didn't think I saw the pupil change. Checked it again. The third time I checked it, the patient looked up at me and said "Glass eye!"

    Apparently did it not only look just like his other eye, up until I checked it, the pupil reacted to light, too.

    Amazing things they can do with glass eyes!
  10. by   santhony44
    Quote from grace90
    I once had a patient that I reported off as being on 'Lasix precautions' instead of 'Latex precautions'!
    I annoyed a doctor once when I said that a patient had a "Nissan" fundoplication rather than a "Nissen." Yes, I knew the difference, somehow I just opened my mouth and the wrong thing came out.

    He walked away muttering something about little trucks......
  11. by   Crux1024
    I have just read all 42 pages and wow! i have never laughed harder! Its great to see that this thread has been going for 6 years! I hope I have some to add soon
  12. by   nursemike
    Quote from grace90
    I once had a patient that I reported off as being on 'Lasix precautions' instead of 'Latex precautions'!
    Two urinals at the bedside?
  13. by   grace90
    Quote from nursemike
    Two urinals at the bedside?
    Yup, there ya go! And pad the bed up good. That's Lasix precautions for ya!

    I think I actually saw an order once on a urology patient on Lasix for "two urinals at the beside, expect a lot of urine output"

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