A woman scorned . . .

Nurses Humor

Published

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger

woman.

The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love so he asked the wife to move out and told her he would buy her another place.

The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given 3 days on her own there, to pack up her things.

While he was gone, the first day she lovingly put her personal

belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit Dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted on a pound of shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited a few of the resulting shrimp shells into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

The husband came back, with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled so bad.

They tried everything; cleaned & mopped and aired the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, carpets were steam cleaned, Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in, the carpets were replaced, and on it went.

Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The Moving company arrived and did a very professional packing job, taking everything to their new home...

....including the curtain rods.

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His ex must have been Scottish! LOL!! There's an old Scottish tradition....the "friends" of the newlywed couple hide a kippered herring somewhere in the couple's car or home....somewhere where it will be extremely hard to find.....

And then there's the shivaree....it's quite traditional with my country cousins. One of my cousins had his friends troop into his home, and carry his mattress, with him AND his bride on it, down the stairs and out onto the front lawn.

Silly boy...he'd told his mom earlier in the day, "I think the guys are going to shivaree me tonight, Mom, " and there he was, lying in bed, the doors to the house unlocked. He hadn't warned his wife, and she had gone to be naked.... :rolleyes: Luckily, his friends had the decency NOT to yank the bedclothes off the bed!

If I'd been his wife, I think I would have bopped him one for telling his mom, and NOT telling me!! :D

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.

OMG, that is just sooooooooooo good ! Soooooo cruel, mean, evil, yet just sooooooo EXCELLENT !!! :rotfl: And never getting AWAY from it.. and never knowing just WHERE it's coming from... like an evil haunt... "the case of the shrimpstalker"... :uhoh21:

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

OMG that is so funny! Thanks for the chuckle!

renerian

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

Jnette how did I forget you were in the Blue Ridge Mountains? Dang they are scarey to drive in for us city folks ! LOL.

renerian

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

Ohhhhhhhhh how I wish I had thought of that one to pull on my ex years ago. :rotfl:

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Heehee!

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Specializes in ICU.

The best one I heard of was where a woman got into her ex boyfriends house while he was away for a few days and sprinkled everything - the thick shag pile carpet the sofa everything with fine grass seeds. Misted water over it all turned the air conditioner up and left. When he arrived home - YUP fine green lawn!!!

One woman apparently went and super-glued the contents of the yard to the ex's pride and joy mobile.

But perhaps the nastiest revenge was the guy who broke into his ex-friends apartment and replaced all the clothes in her wardrobe with those 1 size smaller.......................:devil:

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Specializes in midwifery, ophthalmics, general practice.

scottish tradition eh? well it used to be traditional to put a kipper up the exhaust pipe of a car of a newly wed couple........ yuk!

revenge is definately a dish best served cold...... a woman over her cut all her errant husbands clothes in half! nice!

Karen

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

OMG gwenith that is a scream on the grass!!!!!!!

renerian

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.
Originally posted by gwenith

But perhaps the nastiest revenge was the guy who broke into his ex-friends apartment and replaced all the clothes in her wardrobe with those 1 size smaller.......................:devil:

Now THAT is clever, too ! How mean !!! (and funny!) Would be a rather difficult task, though ! To replace the exact same items?

Heck, I've got several that are old as Methusala... no WAY he'd ever find those around to purchase ! And what about that "favorite old bra" etc, etc...? Nope.. think I'd catch on pretty quickly ! :chuckle

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