10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

Apr 01, 2001 06:35 PM

by sharann

Very, very funny and true!

If I may add one more:
"Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)

susanmary · Apr 01, 2001, 11:46 PM

Also -- "I need to check your groin" (incision.) Often gets my male patients laughing....

kjmta57 · Apr 01, 2001, 11:54 PM

bend over as far as possible so we can check you out better.

john privett · Apr 02, 2001, 12:05 AM

10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

1.i have to stick this up your rectum
2.i need some of your urine
3.i'm going to take some of your blood
4.breathe this in and hold it
5.you have to swallow it
6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good
7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures
8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts
9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom
10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

Athena · Apr 08, 2001, 05:44 AM

Originally posted by john privett:
1.i have to stick this up your rectum
2.i need some of your urine
3.i'm going to take some of your blood
4.breathe this in and hold it
5.you have to swallow it
6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good
7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures
8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts
9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom
10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

how about "the next time you have a bowel movement, don't flush so I can look at it."

OLSKL · Apr 08, 2001, 02:01 PM

I'm going to poke you now then you will start to feel better.

kewlnurse · Apr 08, 2001, 08:02 PM

Here, suck on this (while handing them a incentive spirometer)

ballyk · Apr 11, 2001, 08:11 AM

what about "wiggle your toes....little prick" just before an IM injection

maikranz · Apr 11, 2001, 10:07 AM

ohmigod!!!!!

Gael McL · Apr 12, 2001, 08:26 PM

Originally posted by john privett:
1.i have to stick this up your rectum
2.i need some of your urine
3.i'm going to take some of your blood
4.breathe this in and hold it
5.you have to swallow it
6.i'm going to tie you down, its for your own good
7.we'll inject this into your body, and then take some pictures
8.ma'am, i'm going to examine your breasts
9.i'm going to rub this into your bottom
10.i didnt like his heart rhythm, so i shocked him

How about I have to stick this up your rectum and I want you to hold onto it for as long as you can stand it, the longer you hold it the better it works.

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10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

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