My situation seems pretty easy to figure out but is more complicated I feel. I'll start from the beginning...
Out of nursing school
I began working for a hospital I have been with for a while, I have held other position prior to becoming an RN. Anyway I felt it was time to let go and seek another position somewhere else, I got a job but fired from that position (Oh Well!). I still remained with my prior position on per diem basis. After a few months I got a job with a IT company YAY! My dream job, I love it and I work with my two passions Nursing and Technology.
I still work for per diem position at the hospital in addition to my full-time job. Now here it my dilemma, is it time to let my per diem position go?
I notice anytime I have to work at the hospital, I literally feel anxiety the day before. I always hated the bed side, but I remember the saying you need to walk before you can run. I want to keep my clinical skills up. I don't feel like myself when I am there anymore, but I trying to stay with it as long as possible. It could be my devotion to the company that I can't let go or the extra money it brings in, but I don't feel I am benefiting myself anytime I am there. I am out of sorts when I work and I am physically and emotionally exhausted the next day (which has affected my full-time position). This has even taken a toll on my personal relationships
. I know this probably sounds like a simple solution but I am extremely distraught over it. I have had the opporunity to sit down with my manager and cut back my hours at the hsopital, but it still hasn't helped. Have I been out of Bedside Nursing too long and is it beneficial to keep going?
Could definitely use some advice? What do you think?