In Need of Serious Help

[pnurseuwm]

I have posted on this website several times (before, during, and after nursing school). You all have been wonderful with quick and excellent advice. However at this point I must be real.... I HATE NURSING. I have not even been in the field a year yet... have had several jobs and have not finished orientation yet for any of them.

As a grad nurse, and as the few weeks of working as a new RN, if I worked 5 days a week I came home crying 4 of those days. I have been treated for depression for the past 6 years... it was controlled before becoming a GN and now it is out of control. There is nothing, absolutely nothing, about nursing that I enjoy... please don't hate me for saying that because it is the truth. I've been on med/surg and surg floors and it is ALL the same... constant running around, getting yelled at by doctors, getting yelled at by patients, no time to eat or use the bathroom, exposure to HIV, smells out of this world... but mostly what bothers me is the constant running around and never having a grip on anything.

Nursing was never my choice of a career... indeed I love learning and reading about medical/biological stuff and diseases but as a new nurse THIS was rarely tested, but what WAS tested was how many different directions I could be pulled in without cracking. And I have had several breakdowns... thus what they say, "God will never put on you what you can't take..." is totally false for me, sorry if this offends anyone.

To add insult to injury, I started seeking work outside of nursing, something calmer, and low and behold once they find out I WAS working as an RN I'm assaulted with a barage of questions, skeptical looks, and NEVER getting the position. People attack me and say, "With THAT good of a pay check, what was wrong with you?" And I keep telling people that you could be making $200.00/hr but when you're miserable and crying at work and crying at home it is totally not worth it.

At this point I can't get a job in any other field (stores in the mall will not even hire me) and I know I must return to the field I despise, a field that gives me grief, that if I know I must work the next day I spend the entire present day dreading tomorrow. I have no job and no health insurance.

I don't smile anymore, I don't laugh, I can't carry on a decent conversation... I feel trapped because I have not been able to gain employment in anything. Clinics and doctor's office are also out of reach because they "want 2-5 years of nursing experience" which always means "hospital floor" experience... that which I hate.

For those of you who have (or know of someone who has) left nursing to pursue another field, HOW in the world did you do it?

[focker-male nurse]

before you hang up your nursing degree consider a less stressful position.

i can tell you this working retail can be just as stressful and a lot less rewarding.

consider these areas of nursing:

Psych nurse

school nurse (what great hours!!!)

work for health insurance company

pharmaceutical rep

biomed rep

surgical implant rep

outpatient surgey

recovery room

public health department

home health

all jobs have stress...but when you get the anxiety/depression under control perhaps you can utilize your nursing degree without the mania of floor nursing.

Out of all these I think is correct in suggesting psych nursing as you will be able to offer a unique perspective. besides psych hospitals usually pay more money!

[jill48, ASN, RN]

I know what you mean about not being able to get a job. The BON suspended my license three years ago beacause they say I did not file taxes in the year 2000, which I did. So I have been fighting with the tax people on the state level (Federal IRS mysteriously got my tax stuff and W2's) for over three years. Within those three years, I have lost everything - my job, health insurance for my entire family, my car, my apartment. I'm currently on food stamps and medicaid. Back to my point- I have to find a job that I can walk to, and only while the kids are in school. No one will hire me because I'm overqualified. Not even the gas station down the street. So I do know how you feel about that part of your problem. I just hoped it would make you feel better to know that someone else is kind of in the same predicament. Good luck to you. I'm sure you will find something you like.:kiss

[pnurseuwm]

Thanks again you all for your support. I am now looking at many options, including psych nursing (and possibly moving out of state, sometimes I feel like I need a new beginning in another part of the U.S). Things are looking up at this point. My depression is pretty much in control with meds and the new year is coming up so I am very hopeful for the future

jill48, I feel bad for your situation. I too applied for MANY receptionists, typists, secretary positions but to no avail. It's an odd feeling, knowing that you CAN do something but because you've spent too many years in school you're not ALLOWED to do something....

You all have provided me with much hope and many options for the future. Happy New Year! :balloons:

[jasmine4494]

BEING A NURSE MEANS:

You will never be bored

You will always be frustrated

You will be surrounded by challenges

So much to do and so little time

You will carry immense responsibility

and very little authority

You will step into peoples lives

and you will make a difference

Some will bless you

Some will curse you

You will see people at their worst . .

and at their best

You will never cease to be amazed

at peoples capacity for

love, courage, and endurance

You will see life begin . . and end

You will experience resounding triumphs

and devastating failures

You will cry a lot

You will laugh a lot

You will know what it means to be human

and humane

~Melodie Chenevert

[JBirdAngel]

Hello,

I havnt read this whole thread, but your post makes me realize that i should consider this and others like this perhaps more seriously to see if nursing would really work for me, although I know i can do anything God wants me to as He will help me :)

I want to address your saying that what the Bible says isnt true for you, I want to say that what the Bible says is true, always. And for this instance I think that it might be a case of mis applying what God says in Scripture. I'll post the verse below, but it is talking about temptation to sin, so i am not sure it applies to your situation, although i fully believe that God helps us no matter the load, but i dont think that means that we are to do it all ourselves and such, and you know that those jobs arnt working for you and so i think that seeking something else sounds correct, but dont give up on God, and dont feel like you cant trust what He says, what He says is true, but we may not always understand what He is saying, we need His Holy Spirit to help us with that :)

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

(1Co 10:13 KJVR)

We must put our faith in the Lord even when we dont understand everything :) I hope that you feel better :)

thanks for reading - jason