Anyone who is over 40 could not have children and working in maternity or pediatrics?

Nurses Career Support

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Hi,

I'm 48 and a nursing student and wonder if I should work in maternity, or pediatrics after I graduate despite what I experienced, or in mental health.

I decided to go to college 5 years ago to take my mind off and explore another career option. I had moved to the West coast to live with my husband; I had become unemployed (was an office manager before), and experienced a 3rd failed pregnancy 3 days prior to starting college from scratch for the first time. I had an abortion at age 21 (my companion was on drugs and alcohol and I followed my parents advice); I had a miscarriage on my 2nd pregnancy at age 42, and a terminated pregnancy at age 43 because the fetus had down syndrome.

After much hesitancy, seeing a career advisor in college, and almost opting to become a psychologist, I decided to study prerequisites for nursing, and then nursing partly because a classmate I liked chose nursing as her major and an instructor had told me that there were more psychologists than clients out there. I am now in my 3rd semester of nursing studies. I did not like my med/surg clinicals too much last semester; my instructor was unpleasant particularly with me because I lacked confidence and was fatigued with the prelabs/care plans and studying pathophysiology, med/surg, pharmacology, technical skills all at the same time while doing the clinicals. I'm going to start my maternity and pediatrics clinicals this semester, and I think I may enjoy these more than med/surg; unless working in psychiatry would be better.

Anyway, it was of course frustrating and sad not to be able to give birth and have children in the past, and I've often felt envy seeing other pregnant women while being happy for them or at least not jealous. I must say that I am quite happy most of the time anyway, and feel very fortunate with my husband. We do not miss really not having children because we enjoy each other's company already so much, but it would probably have been nice to have kids. I did have some ambivalent feelings prior to my pregnancies as to whether I would feel overwhelmed taking care of children all the time at home. My husband and I may or may not decide to adopt after nursing school although it may be late in the game, etc.

I just attended a childbirth workshop with couples and I felt some envy, but also some relief that I woud not have to experience pain and give birth; and some joy for them. I was very interested and moved by the topic of childbirth, and I feel it may be a good area for me to work in possibly in the future.

I am curious to know if there are any positive stories despite similar challenges as mine: if any women have been able to enjoy working in maternity or pediatrics even though being pregnant and giving birth has not been an option for them?

Thanks in advance!

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Place your burden

at the feet of the Lord of the Universewho accomplishes everything.Remain all the time steadfast in the heart, in the Transcendental Absolute.God knows the past, present and future.He will determine the future for youand accomplish the work.What is to be done will be doneat the proper time. Don't worry.Abide in the heart and surrender your actsto the divine. -- krishna das

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I work neonatal intensive care with several nurses who have struggled with infertility. One of the best nurses there was not able to have kids with her husband and is in her 50s now. She is awesome.

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I'm unable to have children and I was very upset and angry, when I first learn this.

I've worked in Pedi and enjoyed it very much. I enjoyed being able to be around the kids. A lot of times it was a relief when the kids did go home, because of the amount of energy it takes to take care of them.

In my personal life, I get to be "auntie" to my neighbor's kids/ church kids and love spoiling them.

I would have loved to have children of my own, but I feel blessed that I can still participate in a child's life.

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Specializes in Rehab, Med Surg, Home Care.

I previously worked in the field of fertility. I was able to contribute my skills and knowledge to help many couple achieve a sucessful pregnancy. I actually found this especially gratifying on a very basic level-it was like I was doing my part to bring healthy kids into the world, despite the fact that they did not come from my own body.

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Hi,

I'm 48 and a nursing student and wonder if I should work in maternity, or pediatrics after I graduate despite what I experienced, or in mental health.

I decided to go to college 5 years ago to take my mind off and explore another career option. I had moved to the West coast to live with my husband; I had become unemployed (was an office manager before), and experienced a 3rd failed pregnancy 3 days prior to starting college from scratch for the first time. I had an abortion at age 21 (my companion was on drugs and alcohol and I followed my parents advice); I had a miscarriage on my 2nd pregnancy at age 42, and a terminated pregnancy at age 43 because the fetus had down syndrome.

After much hesitancy, seeing a career advisor in college, and almost opting to become a psychologist, I decided to study prerequisites for nursing, and then nursing partly because a classmate I liked chose nursing as her major and an instructor had told me that there were more psychologists than clients out there. I am now in my 3rd semester of nursing studies. I did not like my med/surg clinicals too much last semester; my instructor was unpleasant particularly with me because I lacked confidence and was fatigued with the prelabs/care plans and studying pathophysiology, med/surg, pharmacology, technical skills all at the same time while doing the clinicals. I'm going to start my maternity and pediatrics clinicals this semester, and I think I may enjoy these more than med/surg; unless working in psychiatry would be better.

Anyway, it was of course frustrating and sad not to be able to give birth and have children in the past, and I've often felt envy seeing other pregnant women while being happy for them or at least not jealous. I must say that I am quite happy most of the time anyway, and feel very fortunate with my husband. We do not miss really not having children because we enjoy each other's company already so much, but it would probably have been nice to have kids. I did have some ambivalent feelings prior to my pregnancies as to whether I would feel overwhelmed taking care of children all the time at home. My husband and I may or may not decide to adopt after nursing school although it may be late in the game, etc.

I just attended a childbirth workshop with couples and I felt some envy, but also some relief that I woud not have to experience pain and give birth; and some joy for them. I was very interested and moved by the topic of childbirth, and I feel it may be a good area for me to work in possibly in the future.

I am curious to know if there are any positive stories despite similar challenges as mine: if any women have been able to enjoy working in maternity or pediatrics even though being pregnant and giving birth has not been an option for them?

Thanks in advance!

----

Place your burden

at the feet of the Lord of the Universewho accomplishes everything.Remain all the time steadfast in the heart, in the Transcendental Absolute.God knows the past, present and future.He will determine the future for youand accomplish the work.What is to be done will be doneat the proper time. Don't worry.Abide in the heart and surrender your actsto the divine. -- krishna das

Seing you here gives me so much hope, I am a 46 year old pre-nursing student and just started back in school last fall. I should be ready for nursing school next spring :)

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Thank you so much you all for your supportive messages!!! I really appreciate it!!! I feel I will be happy working in maternity or pediatrics after reading your messages.

46 years old is not too old to study pre-nursing. I had seen another thread in this forum from nursing students, who were also wondering if it was not too late, and there were a lot of positive responses from nurses, who started their studies also late as a second career. It seems to be more and more common. There is a student, who is in her fifties in my class and she is doing remarkably well, better than most students; there are also several other students in their forties as well in my class, although the majority of students are in their twenties. The age difference has not been a problem for me. I actually don't think I could have studied as well in my twenties. My friends in the nursing school are from all different age ranges. I must say the nursing studies (as well as the prerequisites) have been more challenging than I had expected. If you can find the time and energy to study on a regular basis while allowing some rest, you will be fine; it is feasible! Some students have been working while studying. A friend of mine in her early forties has been working on 3 different kinds of jobs while studying. Some students also have kids to take care of at home.

All the best to you!!! :yelclap:

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Specializes in NICU, L&D, OB, Home Health, Management.

I am a veteran OB nurse (25+ years) and now am a manager (sorry - I went over to the dark side). Anyway, one of the best L&D nurses I know is on my present staff and had to have a sudden hysterectomy in her 20s (due to cancer). She's now 50 and is VERY good with our patients.

Linda

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