Hello all. I tried to find the best forum possible but I just wasn't sure. Currently I'm a medical administration student. I'm not a nurse but I am seriously contemplating it for a time in the future. I discovered this website about a week ago and it seems that some of you (single-parents) would be able to relate to my situation. I need some "mature", reasonable, down-to-earth advice from some folks who have "been there - done that".
I'm in a bit of a bind. I left the Army in August due to pregnancy. Job outlook was pretty good for a computer gal with office experience. However the competition turned out to be pretty steep here in the Colorado Springs area. Didn't land a job before I started to show (from the pregnancy). After that, no one would hire me. As illegal as it is, that is the only logical explanation I can think of as to why I couldn't even land a minimum wage job with my experience.
As time went on, I hesitantly accepted the fact that I'm probably not going to get a job till the baby was born. When I left the military, I didn't have any money or a place to stay so some friends invited me to stay with them till I got on my feet. I didn't feel I had much of a choice so I accepted the offer. I started school in hopes to give my daughter a better life than what I could have without this degree. After being here just a short while, I realized how chaotic this home is. These people yell at each other all of the time. They scream at their children all of the time for the slightest things. There is so much dysfunction here that it's causing me great stress wondering how I'm going to have to keep my little baby in this home. There is a problem with one of my roomates in that she seems to want to control my situation with the baby. Can't say much in contrast because the next alternative is the homeless shelter. I'm more miserable as the days go by.
The dilemma is, if all things go well with the delivery, I can just continue on with school and I even received permission from my department supervisor to double-up on classes to finish this program in about three or four months. (This program typically is over a year long) If I can finish in three or four months, I can get a decent job and I can get my daughter OUT OF HERE and into a stable environment. I have enough GI Bill (college money) to pay my bills for the next few months without working so that is an added plus for going that route.
In closing, I was in class tonight asking my classmate how her delivery with her children went and if continuing on with class even just a few days after giving birth was possible. My other classmate piped up and began to tell me how she thought the first few months of a baby's life was the most important and how she doesn't think a baby should be without the mother. Basically she was incenuating I would be abusing or neglecting my child. I was so angry that she would even give her opinion when she doesn't even know what situation I'm in or know that I'm doing this FOR my daughter - trying to get through this program as quickly as possible before she is even old enough to realize I'm gone and to get her out of here.
I say all of that to say this, I don't want to leave my baby. It breaks my heart that I can't make a better situation for her RIGHT NOW. I don't want to leave her with these people while I'm gone. (I don't really know anyone else here to ask them to babysit) But if I can just get this program out of the way quickly, I can get her out of this dysfunctional environment with all of the screaming, accusing, and controlling that goes on.
My question to you single-parents out there who may know what this is like, am I doing the right thing? Or will I be neglecting her? I don't want to do the wrong thing. I have the chance to make a better life for us by doing this and doing it quickly. I don't know what the answer is.
