Afraid to go back to work

[winnowill]

My father just died last week from complications related to multiple myeloma. My mom and I were in the room and watched him pass away. I have to go back to work but I am afraid I won't handle it. His death was awful to watch. He started bleeding from his gums and we spent the last 4 hours suctioning him constantly. I see it all the time. I can't get it out of my head.

Any advice on how I can handle this?

[weirdscience]

Any supervisor that acts put out about this is probably fortunate enough to never have lost a parent. It's truly one of the worst times in one's life. I wholeheartedly agree with the PP who said to trust your husband. Take the time you need to grieve and seek out the help you need. Jobs come and go.

[Alnitak7]

One thing I noticed when I worked in the nursing home was a lot of ignorance and insensitivity toward those of us who had a death in our family.

They were told things such as, "You need to be at work."

One time I asked if I could leave my shift after all my patients were attended to and the charge nurse did not seem to understand.

She asked, "Do you have to help with funeral arrangements?"

Well that is not the issue, I wanted to be with my family after someone in it passed away. It's a spiritual and emotional thing and not about "funeral arrangements."

[miasmom]

Take the time off you need. Talk with doctor. You need time to heal. I once had a manager ask if I was still gonna pick up extra shift when grandma died. Ummm. No. When other passed she asked did she already die. Duh.. We usually get two. You need the time to grieve. Hugs.

[MauraRN]

If you have to take an upaid leave of absence, DO IT! This is so fresh for you. Even if your facility is kind and sympathetic, their interests lie in the work, not the mental health of the staff. It is very hard to deal with patients with similar illness right after losing a loved one. I was doing palliative/hospice home care when my husband died following a long, slow battle with cardiac disease. I got 3 days off and the office was calling me continually with, "mrs jones wants this or that" or you had labs come in on the fax make sure you call the MD, etc. I was so stunned by his death that I actually accepted this kind of crap and went right back to working 80 hrs weekly. My physical health declined and I was a stressed out mess for 8 months. DO NOT do what I did. Get any help that you can and don't go back to work until you feel up to it. Good luck to you.