I am a graduate nurse in recovery. When applying for my license I disclosed that I had a relapse in recovery 1 year prior to the application. I felt that with my new way of life through A.A. that I could not live with myself if I was not brutally honest. There was no record of my issues that would have been discovered and I thought doing the right thing was the only way. When I went to the psychiatric exam I figured "what is the worst that could happen?" I am in recovery, attend meetings, work steps and care a whole lot more about my sobriety than any IPN or MD ever will. The hair and urine samples came back clean but the PETH test shows at a .4 which to my understanding makes me a daily binge drinker. I have been told that this is on my permanent record and no matter what I have to live with it. I have maintained my position that I have not had a drink in 13 months and now I just look like a liar. I can think of a million things that I want to do or should say (I am an alcoholic
) I fear that the more I deny the results of the test the harder IPN will be on me with therapy requirements. I have requested another test for my own sanity. I am hoping that someone made a mistake and I just test clean. I am terrified that I will have to take these tests for the next five years and stand a chance of this happening again. I wonder, does God not want me to be a nurse? Does God want me to put my energy into exposing a test that could be ruining lives? I'd sure like to hear from other's who have any hope, strength and wisdom on the subject. I should get a contract from IPN in the next few weeks. I am studying for the NCLEX and cannot get the lump out of my throat.