Meetings

[SpankedInPittsburgh]

Hello all:

I was curious in your particular program how many 12 step meetings are you required to attend? Do you guys get anything from them or have they helped you? How do you report these meetings to your monitoring program?

I have to attend three meetings a week but my nurse support meeting counts as one. I don't really get much from these meeting but I've met some very nice people there. I report via an attendance sheet which I send to my case manager once a month. I'll admit that I've been tempted to simply fill out the sheet and send it in as I don't think the signatures can be verified one way or another with any reliability. I don't do it from pure cowardice as I'm afraid to get caught. Is anybody else at least tempted to simply fill out this sheet & turn it in or to get others to simply sign it for you?

One more question. Has any of you heard of anybody getting caught turning in false meeting lists?

[stickybun]

Probably could log and leave. I thought about that as well and then wondered if there was some kind of way they could track how long you were actually there.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

I kinda followed the same trajectory with my AA meetings. After I got my DUI I was very remorseful and starting AA meetings everyday. It seemed like a world full of people with the same problem as me who were their to help by offering "suggestions". Two things happened that turned me off the AA experience. First the monitoring program mandated that I attend and get an attendance sheet signed. It's embarrassing and insulting to have to have this sheet signed every meeting so I went from daily meetings to the minimum required amount (2 a week). The second thing was that I too started to get turned off by some of the cult-like trappings of AA. The whole non-religious thing was replaced by endless yammering about a person's particular brand of god & the whole "one true god" thing. Suggestions seemed to feel more like mandating. The repetitive slogans over an over. The same person telling the same story yet again & again. It's just not my thing. Honestly it seemed like many of these folks replaced one life obstructing addiction (booze) with another (the all encompassing world of AA). So I go twice a week now. I skip the super god-squad meetings & try to be respectful but often I'll admit to sitting in the back & playing on my phone

[Recovering_RN]

Yep, totally agree with AA becoming the substitute addiction! It's good for them and they enjoy it so that's great for them, but I def see some addictive properties! They even admit it themselves, how they can't go long without being back in the rooms etc. And the whole higher power thing made me uncomfortable. It's also a very social thing, a lot of people view it as their only social outlet, it's a huge part of their lives, they go to AA events, help run the meetings etc, (step 12 share the message!) but it represents so much bad stuff for me, getting fired, and the whole thing about being required to go and getting my paper signed makes me resent it too.

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

I'm an extremely introverted person and always have been. I don't like crowds. I don't like strangers touching me (especially this hugging stuff, ugh), and I'm very uncomfortable with small talk. Forcing me into a room full of people involving all of the above with side dishes of me not fundamentally agreeing with the material, not meeting the requirements to be there and being forced to be there really makes for a massively anxiety producing situation. There are times when frankly I am there 10 min and I'm out the door. I just can't take it. And yes I log it as a mtg.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Good Cats:

These monitoring programs ask a lot and we are forced to jump through many hoops. I think we all should ask exactly what we are willing to do or not to do to complete our programs. For me if I had to repeat any form of inpatient or outpatient rehab I'd surrender my license. I don't think these requirements should raise to the level of active torture. It sounds like these 12 steps meetings do that for you. If only staying 10 minutes (or not going at all) can work somehow to get you through this I say yay. To me the meetings and or much worse the support group meetings where 7-10 Nurses endlessly talk about the mundane issues of their lives are just a simple annoyance along the lines of a boil on my butt. Not pretty, aggravating but not fatal

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

Probably could log and leave. I thought about that as well and then wondered if there was some kind of way they could track how long you were actually there.

......and this where the paranoia of being followed/watched kicks in. For a while there, in the grocery store, i felt awkward just walking down the beer aisle on my way to the frozen pizzas. And I've never even drank!!

Now, i think it's just stupid and I march right down that aisle and grab a Digiorno with extra cheese!!! 2 if they're on sale!!

[TrashPanda]

Dear Spanked,

At the beginning, I was required to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. It took me a couple of weeks, but I found one that annoyed me the least. After the initial 90 days, it was three meetings per week. I was required to document meeting attendance online (RecoveryTrek), but I was also required to keep a paper copy (with signatures) in case attendance was ever questioned (thus far, it has not been). Once I hit the two year mark, I was told that I no longer have to complete a monthly meeting log with Affinity (the new check-in Nazis) and I am still required to attend meetings, but I am allowed to decide how many meetings I go to in order to maintain my clean/sober status (I'll give you three guesses how many I have attended and the first two guesses don't count).

Did the meetings do anything for me? They signed the paper when I asked them to. Period, end of story. Did they ask me for money if I had it to give? Every time I entered the door. Did I have an offer for a bump, hook-up, and any other drug/booze/sexual jargon you can think of? Every time I walked in the door. Quite possibly the most non-therapeutic, filthy, smelly, "spiritually" worthless...well, you get it, but I'm done with this nonsense in 10 months, 8 days, 6 hours, 24 minutes, and 53, 52, 51, 50....seconds.

[catsmeow1972, BSN, RN]

668 days to go here.

The only meeting that I can stomach for the whole length is one that I searched out that is NOT 12 step and is a bipolar depression support thing. I feel normal there. I've actually come out of my shell and started to make some friends. Oh and there's no chanting of slogans or platitudes crap either. The only rule is no cussing. I struggle with that one. The other crap, well see my posts above.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Dear TrashPanda:

Two things. First I don't know weather to be insulted or relieved as I was never propositioned at a 12 step meeting. I'm sure this has to do with the fact that I'm a big, old grumpy guy but it still hurts the ego.

Second, you bring up the stinky, seedy, stupid underbelly of 12 step meetings. I'm probably immune to this for the reasons listed above but I sure have noticed it. The dreaded 13th step whereas scumbags with some reputed sobriety to prey on the young and venerable. For all the spiritual, haughty BS spewed by these AA Icons that is a simple fact & the self-policing sanctimonious groups don't do crap about it because at the end of the day its more about social relationships than sobriety. I'm glad you are not subjected to that garbage anymore

[malamud69, BSN, RN]

A lot of posts have been about being checked... can they check your attendance...or is anybody looking at your attendance excetera excetera excetera...its completely against the "anonymity" hogwash literally "preached" at these snake oil lemonade stands...play the game and never submit to the abhorrent hypocrisy.

[K9lover, ASN, RN]

I don't think you are being disrespectful toward the people who want to be in meetings, I like them but I was never forced to go and really had a severe problem with alcohol + no money when I was young so I found it wonderful there was something out there for those such as myself. Plenty of folks come and go with a nudge from the judge, if, like you, they don't get anything out of it but are not sharing they are not taking the time of those who want to share.

I find it much more irritating that there appears to be a little trend of late wherein people whose lives are a mess for reasons other than alcohol take tons of time monopolizing meetings as cheap therapy. One guy went as far as saying that never having touched a drop does not mean he cannot 'diagnose' himself as an alcoholic (small town, he started coming to meetings after his wife left him as he figured this was a good place to find her as a 'captive' audience.) I suggested that was akin to saying one has an allergy to penicillin without having ever had an allergy test.

[SpankedInPittsburgh, DNP, RN]

Yeah I'm not a 12 step guy so I generally keep my mouth shut and put in a buck when they collect. I have noticed that at many of these meetings you have the same people monopolizing the meetings with the same old repetitive story. These groups are supposed to be self-policing and you think at some point they would tell these gas bags to put a plug in it but that does not seem to be the case