Getting blamed for it!!!!

  1. Hey - I am just so mad that I could scream. My name is still Anne and I am still a nurse in recovery. I love our recovery threads here, and need a little help, or just to vent.

    My DH and I have both been in recovery for 7 years. My DHs ex wife is still actively drinking and drugging. I have spokrn with my sponsor about this until her ears are bleeding I'm sure, and been to meetings. Just need a little more help with this.

    She has given us a boatload of trouble since even before we got married. She refused to get clean when he did, and she left high, walking bardfoot in shorts in early spring that year because he wouldn't give her car keys because she was fried. (Just a little history...)

    Long story short, the judge gave DH full custody in the settlement unless she went to rehab. She refused. She got remarried so she could see the boys on her every other weekend visitation. This is really the worst thing that she has done to me that I know of but it just makes me soooo mad.

    On her last weekend visitation, Sunday pm when I met her now ex hubbie but renting a room in her house, he told me that they had not seen the 15 year old since Sat. am about 6 am. She had gotten drunk on Friday afternoon and admitted that she gave the 15 yr.olds friend who spend the
    night Friday night permission to use her truck, a new 2008 Avalanche. He drove them home from the 4 wheeler track where they were apparently having a party and she was so drunk she had him pull into a truck stop to but more beer. She pulled up her skirt in the lot, before dark and urinated. About 6 am, the boys got the truck stuck in the mud. She just sent him and the friend to stay at the friend's house the rest of the weekend. Never called us, nothing. No disipline, nothing, because we found out later she did let them take the truck.

    She called DH the first of the next week and gave my DH various stories when she found out he knew she gave permission.

    1. That I had been calling treatment facilities out of state, pretending to ne her and requesting admission, giving her rather screwed up past.(And I did things too, but sucked it up and admitted and got into recovery.) I was allegedly calling from different states standing in their lobby. She said I was flying to these states!!

    2. That I was calling from our home and my cell phones doing the same thing, until my DH said he was going to pull our phone records to prove her lie.

    3. Then she said I was going to various stores in town doing the same thing. When my DH asked for proof, she just said "Uh........"

    He asked me about it and I told him it was bull. He asked her how do you know it wasn't someone else you did over in the last year? Then she just yelled and screamed a lot.

    Serenity prayer, serenity prayer!!
    Anne, RNC:angryfire
  2. Visit sissiesmama profile page

    About sissiesmama

    Joined: Feb '07; Posts: 2,831; Likes: 3,313
    RNC; from LA , US
    Specialty: 22 year(s) of experience in ER, TRAUMA, MED-SURG


  3. by   Tweety
    Oh the drama of the alcholic and the havoc we create in other people's lives.

    Hang in there. It definately sounds like the Serentiy Prayer is going to be your mantra here.
  4. by   BCCnurse
    First things first !!APPLAUSE!! to you. I know you think this is hard now but believe me it dose get better.I know from personal experience.Me and my husband went through the same thing.His ex wife just got of jail for rx forgery!!! I mean 2 weeks ago! thats how bad she was. And I am sure you are like me. Who is the one taking care of the kids when ther are sick,need clothes,going to school functions,etc.Not that the dad does not do anything but we as women are the ultimate caregivers. But before she gave up custody she reaked havic on us almost daily (they had joint custody) she even came to my job high and started talking to every one in the lobby about my abilities as a nurse and that I was on drugs and trying to take her child away from her.She would tell my hubby that I was stalking her and all kinds of styff like you just got.this was over 3 years!!! and I could not say anything to her cause she would threaten to take him to another state and get full custody from my hubby.BUT I praid every day that things would change and we just let her go (as long as the child was not in danger) and finally she hung her self so to speak and we had enough proof to take her back to court and she decided to sign custody over. we have complete say so now and she has stopped reaking havic on us. unfortunatly she has not gotten help yet but she does not bother us anymore. So I guess what I am trying to say is HANG IN THERE it will eventually get better.I am here to lend an ear anytime. I wish I had someone to listen to me when I went through that!!!!.