Today is my 5th anniversary of Quitting drinking. My 5th birthday as we call it up here. And I feel so lost.
When I quit drinking I was waitressing and continued to waitress for the first year of my sobriety. I still had to mix and serve drinks, but I did quit working the Bar and went to a chain type restaurant. I got pregnant when I was 9 months sober with a man from AA, he was a coke addict though, with exactly the same clean time as I. I went back to school when I finished my maternity leave, I first became a Care aide, then I went on to LPN, I just graduated in March. We are still together. Our daughter is 3 1/2 yrs. I am so grateful to AA for giving me an amazing career and wonderful daughter!
My daughter's father has been back to treatment twice since our daughter was born. His latest relapse has been a doozy! He owns his own business which I have helped him start up, and now he is running it into the ground. It has potential to do very very well, and was doing very well. He is on the wait list to go back to treatment. But he keeps purposely missing his mandatory phone in dates to stay on the list so he gets bumped back. He wants to fit in just a few more Jobs...and a few more destructive crack binges. I should have left him long ago, but when he is clean he is such a great dad, hubby and hard worker. I keep hoping we can have the good life I have experienced with him during clean times. (I know this reeks of co-dependence!) Life is such hell right now, and making it worse is the fact that while in nursing school I completely got out of the habit of going to meetings.
For the first couple years of my sobriety I was at a meeting at least once a day, then at least a few a week, now it has been since February since my last meeting!!! I really really loved going, and I will probably go tomorrow, and show up with a birthday cake to give to my home group to thank them ( our custom here).
I guess I posted this long winded cry for help and cry for attention because I would like people to share their stories of when they stopped going to meetings. I know I am in dangerous territory!!! I am already doing addictive behaviors, like compulsive shopping.
Even if there is no story, I would just like to hear a happy birthday from one person in the wonderful fellowship of AA.
I also find that if I physically write down that I will do something...I do it. This will help me get back to meetings I'm sure! So thank-you for indulging me by reading this.
