The Unwritten Laws Nurse Managers Live By

Specialties Management

Published

1. Always believe the worst about your subordinates, no matter how glowing a reputation or history of competence they may have. Never give anybody the benefit of the doubt.

2. Never praise or give an "attaboy", and always discipline for any minor infractions. Floor nurses are not allowed to be human.

3. Always wield your power like the hammer of Thor.

4. Be as acerbic and abrasive as possible in all dealings with your subordinates.

5. The patient, er, customer is always right, no matter how confused or crazy or vindictive or evil they may be. Patient satisfaction scores are more important than the truth.

6. Clinical nurse leaders do not make mistakes. Only non-management nurses do.

7. Always make sure that your employees shudder in fear at the sight of you; smiling is not allowed.

8. Always be sure to forget what it was like to work on the floor with actual, you know, patients.

9. Always work your hardest to make your subordinates feel as bad as possible about themselves and their chosen career, no matter how much they pour their heart, soul, and mind into it.

Just a few tidbits I've learned from working at a world-famous magnet hospital that strives for "nursing excellence" and attracts "the best and the brightest."

My question is, Was it always this way? Why or why not? And does it always have to be this way?

*** Wow, that is exactly my experience working at several famous Magnet hospitals. Now I am lucky enough to work in a non Magnet, not famous hospital. I have the best nurse manager I have ever had.

I wonder if Magnet is the common denominator?

Magnet Hospitals is not the common denominator BUT the hospital I worked at 'became' Magnet while I was employed there. Same type of incompetent NM's who are like the budget soldiers and sour bullys. When I worked there I couldn't believe they could get Magnet Status because they didn't meet the ANA requirements. Turns out it is a bought and paid for Status. The ANA just said to me it takes a long time to change a culture. So they apparently do some consulting...pfft...its a Magnet for increased business via deception...sad really :(

The nastier and more unapproachable the Nurse Manager the more clinically incompetent. Try to get close enough to one of them and pick their brain. You'll see...I refer to these types as deadwood:) they need to go....

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
The nastier and more unapproachable the Nurse Manager the more clinically incompetent. Try to get close enough to one of them and pick their brain. You'll see...I refer to these types as deadwood:) they need to go....
Now that you put it that way......I have to agree. Typically....these days many have no brain to pick. So I have to agree with you there.....administrators don't want bright, innovative, caring managers...they want task masters and yes men.

I was a great manager. I always had waiting lists into my units. I stood behind my nurses and allowed them to manage themselves...I would only step in when needed. I refused to micro manage, I never allowed bullying or gossip and always surrounded myself with the best and brightest.

That is why I left management....they wanted an unreasonable budget, staffing cuts that were unsafe and could careless about the staff. These "deadwoods" are what the senior management want so I don't think they will be going anywhere soon....((HUGS))

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
Now that you put it that way......I have to agree. Typically....these days many have no brain to pick. So I have to agree with you there.....administrators don't want bright, innovative, caring managers...they want task masters and yes men.

I was a great manager. I always had waiting lists into my units. I stood behind my nurses and allowed them to manage themselves...I would only step in when needed. I refused to micro manage, I never allowed bullying or gossip and always surrounded myself with the best and brightest.

That is why I left management....they wanted an unreasonable budget, staffing cuts that were unsafe and could careless about the staff. These "deadwoods" are what the senior management want so I don't think they will be going anywhere soon....((HUGS))

Boy do I ever miss your type of manager, Esme. Most of mine were as you describe yourself, and were never loathe to pitch in and help with patient care. In those days, most worked their way up the ranks and could change an occupied bed better than some of the techs. :up: If anyone presently has a manager like that, let them know how much you appreciate them!

The nurse manager who took the time to train their nurses to be the best they could be is a dying breed. I don't get it cuz the nurse manager took 24hr responsibility of their unit seriously. Nurses are treated like independent contracters now.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Boy do I ever miss your type of manager, Esme. Most of mine were as you describe yourself, and were never loathe to pitch in and help with patient care. In those days, most worked their way up the ranks and could change an occupied bed better than some of the techs. :up: If anyone presently has a manager like that, let them know how much you appreciate them!
Thanks.....

I am THE BEST occupied bed maker!!!! I can change a complete bed with a patient with an open chest and an extra linen change/bath blanket underneath! and no wrinkles! ;)

Being an old bat myself I am obsessed with a patient being neat and clean in a nice neat rumpled bed....:roflmao:. I loved to leave my office to do patient care. IC starts, Lab draws.......I always wore scrubs and my lab coats. I kept "meeting clothes" when I had to wear them....but they don't want managers/nurses like me any more. :cry:

Thanks.....

I am THE BEST occupied bed maker!!!! I can change a complete bed with a patient with an open chest and an extra linen change/bath blanket underneath! and no wrinkles! ;)

Being an old bat myself I am obsessed with a patient being neat and clean in a nice neat rumpled bed....:roflmao:. I loved to leave my office to do patient care. IC starts, Lab draws.......I always wore scrubs and my lab coats. I kept "meeting clothes" when I had to wear them....but they don't want managers/nurses like me any more. :cry:

Who are THEY and what kind of nurse have you become?

Omg, I'm a genius!! If nurses become independent contracters then I could make my optional national union work and these monster healthcare corporations would have to give the nurse contracters the nurse patient ratio according to their contract or its no deal....ha!

I actually had thought of something similar....including the union providing a perdiem pool.

Omg, I'm a genius!! If nurses become independent contracters then I could make my optional national union work and these monster healthcare corporations would have to give the nurse contracters the nurse patient ratio according to their contract or its no deal....ha!
I actually had thought of something similar....including the union providing a perdiem pool.

That's because great minds think alike :) Seriously though, things are changing fast with Obamacare and the idea of people staying home with home care v ecf/snf facilities. There needs to be more options for nurses as well. Most important is unity and protection because we are being mistreated in many ways. That is just simply unacceptable. I think nnu is paving the way for change in some national standards. Maybe we can branch off of that movement and get creative with union ideas. Honestly I don't care if businesses want to make a profit, but don't abuse the caregivers or the patients. Its just disrespectful. After all, we're the ones making the money for them. The nurse managers are supposed to protect us, but they're the enemy. Idk how that happens, but it did so we need to find our own protection. I think of unions as a last resort. When management fails the staff they manage...its time :)

I'd like to add to the unwritten laws. I had a Nurse Ass. Manager say to her colleague while looking at me ' look at her! She thinks she's one of us!" LOL...Imagine? Simply delusional...

Specializes in NICU, Educ, IC, CM, EOC.

Just wondering...why is this discussion in the nursing management section of AN? The point seems to be to complain about management, which seems like a different issue entirely.

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