Why does every unit have a princess?

Nurses Relations

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When I graduated nursing school some 20 years ago I made a promise to myself to explore all of nursing and feel satisfied that I have done that. I have specialized in several areas and have done per diems everywhere in the hospital with the exception of L&D. Throughout my travels, I have come to see that in every area, there reigns a princess.

The princess as I see it is the nurse who is allowed to demand and receive privileges and the staff as a whole panders to it. Specifically, the princess can protest her assignment, demand extra staff and throw an occasional tantrum when she gets upset. This same assignment and staffing ratio has been managed without complaint or problem by other shifts yet when the princess complains it becomes a "justifiable issue that needs immediate correction. "

I initially thought that this nurse was the most knowledgeable or skilled but over time came to realize that this wasn't correct. I can wholeheartedly admit that at times I did resent this disparity, but I had a hard time really fathoming how it was permitted.

I am a reflective person so I have examined myself for the presence of jealousy and although not a refreshing find, I had to accept that it was there. I think I used to mask it in righteous indignation that I was a hard worker so why was her mediocre at best work hailed in such high regard. The answer is she is popular, powerful or both: I am not a princess.

I genuinely like to work hard. My relationship with my pts is very private. I allow them to see me and I them in a way that is deeply meaningful. I think often where we go wrong in nursing,myself included, is we expend energy comparing ourselves to each other. Usually, if I am having a strong reaction to a person, they are showing me something about myself that I haven't yet faced. Why is there a princess in every unit? I really don't know.

What interests me is what can I learn from her. The princess no longer becomes my enemy when I register my own truth: that I am quiet, I am deep, I am respected but in my career there are times when I too wished to be popular.

Specializes in cardiac CVRU/ICU/cardiac rehab/case management.

TO SAMADAM8 "Ah, well, this is one of those things in life that goes on everywhere. Just remember to do right and be true to yourself, b/c the BIGGER reality is no one 'wears a crown' forever in this imperfect world. Also "It rains on the just and unjust." And even if it seems to 'chiefly (rain) on the just, because the unjust steal the umbrella of the just,' God sends the winds and gales to blow the umbrella out of the unjust people's hands.

Everything comes around in due season; therefore, don't trouble yourself about these kinds of folks. The elements of life come down on us all, and the just are more prepared to weather these elements. Thus the "weather" will distill the truth about people in due season."

Very beautifully expressed and felt.Thank you

We've got a couple people that get away with behavior nobody else could get away with. One is super dependable, so even though she has a few PIA qualities, we at least know if she's on the schedule, she'll show up. We've got one that makes EVERYONE crazy, but she knows her stuff so she's still around. I can have hissy fits about other departments when I get frustrated with their laziness. But I know my stuff and people like me, so I'm still around.

I'm guessing few of us are the PERFECT employee. (People that think they are tend to be REALLY annoying to work with.) So most of us have something that's being tolerated.

Specializes in Sleep medicine,Floor nursing, OR, Trauma.

For the record, I am not a princess.

I am a Queen.

::snirk:: Just kidding.

My heaven, could you imagine? Please.

Look, you got to let this stuff roll. Sure, it's exhausting. Energy vampires exist both in and out of the work environment.

I guess I'm always just too busy doing what has to be done to pay much mind. Their drama is not my issue or concern.

Up until the moment it endangers/compromises my patients or my patient care. And then they quickly get a deep understanding of where the nickname "pitbull" comes from.

(No offense to pitbull owners or fans. Lovely dogs, pitbulls. A breed near and dear to my heart. Digress.)

I have spoken.

~~Her Royal Highness, Queen of All Things Random and Obscure, High Proprietress of Frosting and Land Snails, Guardian of Sea Cucumbers Everywhere, Empress of Ninth Order of Orange Fizzy Drinks, Esq.~~

Specializes in ICU.

The next time that you are alone with ms princess ask her in a neutral voice: so how does it FEEL to manipulate everone and get away with it

Specializes in ICU.

just be able to identify these people.

The princess as I see it is the nurse who is allowed to demand and receive privileges and the staff as a whole panders to it. Specifically, the princess can protest her assignment, demand extra staff and throw an occasional tantrum when she gets upset. This same assignment and staffing ratio has been managed without complaint or problem by other shifts yet when the princess complains it becomes a "justifiable issue that needs immediate correction. "

90% of the daystaff where I work are princesses.

We've been referring to them as such for a few years.

We had one where I used to work, the only person who could work 12's on the entire unit. Everyone else had to work 8's. No clue as to why, but I do not miss that.[/

Similar thing where I work. We do 4 ten hour shifts. Princess is the only one who does three twelves although everyone has been asking for three 12s for years. What is most annoying, once at a staff meeting I brought up some of the behavior of the princess only because someone came to me almost in tears one shift over the behavior of the princess and I empathized with how she felt. We all agreed the behavior was just outrageous. However, at the staff meeting no one said anything to back up that what I was saying was the truth. They all just sat there like a bunch of scared children. Literally, they looked scared. I will never forget it. In the future, I will let my coworkers fight there own battles and speak up for myself as needed.

Specializes in Trauma, ICU, Critical Care, Recovery.

My answer to this question would be: For the same reason every unit seems to have a general or a tyrant. That is because nursing would suck without the drama they bring. LOL.

I think you nailed it!

I can't understate how many times I hear how much smoother the shift is when there are men working. I don't want to offend the ladies, I love'em, but you asked.....

Truth, brother....it always is a woman (or little girl, age 34!)

We all have character flaws. I thought after school, these types of popularity contests and jealousy would finally go away. Why can't we women just go to work, do our job, and go home? Answer.....because we must share our feelings with one another, talk about others, compete with, and put others we are jealous of down so that we can "bond" with each other. Men bond by doing things together. Well, I don't want to "bond" with with my female coworkers. So, I'm immediately the outcast. I admit, I have been labeled the "princess" before too. Truth is....I'm kinda spoiled. I like things my way, and I throw temper tantrums sometimes to get it. It's a character flaw I know. We all have flaws. We all have meltdowns, tantrums, sadness, jealousy etc. Can't we just accept it and move on? The constant arguing and talking about one another is old. I'm so tired of having to watch my back all the time because my fellow coworker might be PMSing that day and wanna try to get me fired. There are men like that 2. They are usually borderline personality D/O too. We aren't doing ourselves or our pt.s any favors by throwing each other under the bus all the time. No wonder we can't unite and demand better nurse to Pt. ratios. We are a dime a dozen. When we get too old, or injure our backs or speak up not getting breaks or lunch, we are fired and replaced by the next day.We must realize that we are all flawed. We are all different. We all want what's best for our Pt's. We are all over worked. Most of us are woman. We all have 4 or 5 personalities.lol.....We all need each other to take care of our Pt's. If we backed each other up instead of back stabbing each other, we could get better working conditions as well as better care for the Pt's. and nobody would dare stand in our way. We are the answer to the current health care crisis. Power in numbers ladies....power in numbers! So say one, so we all? ;)

I work in a doctor's office and even there we have a princess. The manager asked me to make the daily schedule (there were three nurses and we rotated between the doctor, allergy testing, and shots daily). The manager wanted me to work in the back with her so the two of us would be with the doctor and testing. I made the schedule and posted it without realizing that "princess" wound up working in injections two days in a row that way. Princess emailed the clinical director of the company (who's over all 20 offices and about 250 employees) to complain about it. Princess REFUSED to help the other nurses on any other day, even when we were short-staffed. I had 5 patients sign in for injections at one time and asked if she could help do one or two. She said "you've got 5? You'll be okay" and picked up the phone to return a patient call that was non-urgent. There was one day when three of us were working in the back and there were three things going on at once: a chart was up to be brought back, a timer was going off for an allergy test to be read, and the doctor needed assistance in an exam room. I asked who wanted the timer, who wanted the doctor, and who wanted the chart (three nurses, three assignments). Princess said "I've got to check the phone lines" and walked off, where she again emailed the clinical director to say that I was "bossing her around". The clinical director eventually came to our office and interviewed each of us individually, where she told me "princess" was lazy and transferred me to another office, much to my delight.

OP, I'm not yet a nurse (few more months), but I'm already dealing with this issue as a student in clinicals. I'm very quiet, very hard-working, and I try to ask questions about things i don't know and just go that extra mile to gain more experience and learn, but I often feel like even my clinical instructor overlooks me, is often too busy with the other students or feels I'm not assertive enough, opting to work with the more interesting to talk to peers. They're more exciting and tend to have more they're willing to share about their social life than I do. In essence, these are the ones people tend to like and admire, even the superiors, and are often more willing than not to go that extra mile to help them and provide them with support. I figure there's something about those individuals that the feel is worth aiding. What? I don't know.

But I'm dealing with it. I've begun to realize that if I'm only a student and my life is already like this, then I need to be more self-motivated than i already am and just use the resources I have to further myself and be my own advocate. The princesses are using their own resources (their popularity and people skills), so maybe I just need to further access my own resources as well.

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