Why are some aides so disrespectful?

Nurses Relations

Updated:   Published

This morning I was treated very disrespectfully by an aide. I've been reading the threads on here about disrespectful aides to try to learn how to deal with this particular aide. However, from what I'm reading, it seems that it won't matter what I do or say -- the problem is in the system that allows them to get away with it. It seems that management and administration always side with the aides. Why is this? I feel that if an LPN were disrespectful to an RN or supervisor, they'd get written up.....why not the aides?

It is not necessarily because the aides are part of a union which suppports them because there's no union where I work.

Could it be that they know they won't be fired because they're too hard to replace at the low pay they're earning?

I just wonder why aides are allowed to get away with poor behavior when I don't believe any other level of nursing is allowed to get away with it. Does anyone have any insight into this? I'd like to feel that I could discuss this with my superiors or human resources but if they're just going to turn a deaf ear, then there's no point.

onthemark said:
I think this is a good point, Brandon, but I'm an LPN and when someone with a higher level of professionalism than me is disrespectful to me, I take it....I wouldn't think of talking back to them.

Yes, some respect for rank would be a nice thing in nursing. I'd like to see some military standards injected into nursing regarding obeying orders and respecting the chain of command.

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As for the situation on hand, even if she was on break, she should have been in the break room, not the dining room. If you had walked into the break room and asked her to do this, she might have had a point.

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sunnybabe, I know that disrespect can be observed on every level. However, my point is that it seems that only the aides are allowed to get away with it. Most other levels would be written up and reprimanded, but for some reason management seems to always defend the aides.

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Nascar, your suggestions are pretty much what I was thinking but I was just a little unsure of how much authority I have. You have given me confidence, though. Thanks!

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Yes, Brandon, had she been in the break room, I wouldn't have asked her.

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onthemark said:
sunnybabe, I know that disrespect can be observed on every level. However, my point is that it seems that only the aides are allowed to get away with it. Most other levels would be written up and reprimanded, but for some reason management seems to always defend the aides.

Well, after reading your story, I agree that the aide was disrespectful to not only you but the patient. It's still not too late to approach her and have a talk with her. Perhaps, you could start it off the conversation like, "The other day we obviously had some tension between each other..." and then the two of you can come to a common understanding, hopefully.

Best wishes!

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I like that approach, sunnybabe. thanks!

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I had similar problems with a tech. I'd ask, tech would say no, I'd stew, lather rinse repeat. When I stopped asking and started directing (ie "Bob, please take Mrs. X upstairs to the worship meeting." instead of "Would you mind taking her to the worship meeting?"). It doesn't even sound that different, but taking the question out of it and making it a command, although a polite one, made a lot of difference. Maybe certain people get annoyed at being "asked" when they're really being given a job, maybe the wording has enough authority in it that they don't challenge it, I don't know. I just know that for my situation, it was a simple but very effective move.

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It is encouraged for us to sit in our cafeteria to mingle with patients on break if we choose. However, regardless, she should have spoken up and indicated she was on break. It's disrespectful to expect them to give up their break as well. We had a big problem here with nurses insisting aides come help with patient care while on their break. So much that aides were going entire shifts without more than a five minut break in twelve hours because as soon as they sat down they were interrupted.HOWEVER, this situation has an aide who did not indicate she was on break so the fault still lies with her in some respect, but the first question you should have asked was "are you available?" it gives the aide an opportunity to say that she was on break without seeming like a wretch.

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Specializes in Lvn to RN, new grad med/surg.

I had a severe problem with this at a LTC facility. I began by asking the DSD for advice, which was usually followed up by a written incidence of what happened leading to the aide being fired. This was not the expected result I wanted so I quickly learned some communication skills (and to be assertive) such as please tell me when you are leaving for your break so I for one know not to look for you, two that you are getting a break, and three for your safety. (We had an aide one time passed out in a corner in a storage closet with low blood sugar that was found by another aide.) We had the aides get report in the beginning of shift and communicate to someone when leaving for breaks and leaving for the day. If and when the morning shift was late, (unfortunately often) we needed at least 2 aides clocked in from morning shift before all our people could leave (usually only one had to stay less than 10 mins and would rotate) to cover the floor for emergencies and call lights.

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@onthemark- The way you explained the situation, I don't believe it happened that way. Sounds like you are not telling the whole truth.

@brandonlpn- Even when I was in the military, I did not allow my hierarchy to disrespect me in any way shape or form.

@hiddencatrn- Command? Yeah right. I'd like to see you command me and see how it blows up in your face.

Let me tell you something people. Nurses and Techs or CNA's are suppose to work as a team for the good of the patients. Don't think that becasue you are a nurse, you can talk to Techs/CNA's in any way you choose and no you are no better. Everybody need to respect each other and be professional. Remember, those Techs/CNA"s are your eyes and your ears, they may be able to detect certain things that you do not becasue they have direct patient care and spend much more time with the patients than you do. Where I work we respect each other, and if there is a problem we talk about it once and keep on moving. I am a tech now and will be graduating as an RN in the next couple of months. You all need to start being professional and get out of your stink.

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hi onthemark...

I understand what you feel,sorry about that...calm down and move on,don't let that aide affects your composure.Think that you are professional and just do your job.

I was a nurse.i had worked as a staff nurse 2years in the hospital in my country.I've been here in U.S for a year but i haven't got my license yet so i've working as an aide this time.

I would like to tell you something.I once became an RN and now Become a CNA.I know how it feels if the charge nurse is toxic and now i know what's going on if aides are very busy.I would like to tell what the CNA's situation.The very hard shift is morning...It is the busiest time for all aides wherever facility it is-this time is very stressful!..why?because aides dealing with different patients have different behaviors..plus with(DSD,charge nurse,supervisor,DON,administrator are controlling aides work),the work is very hard like getting up pts,shower,feeding,dressing,transferring in the shower chair,wheel chair and not all pts are light,some of them are heavy..and after all of these hard work nobody's appreciate..11:30 is usually the break time for aides and that 30 minutes break is not paid..

In the facility where i work,i would say that those charge nurses are very considerable and cooperative.i really appreciate their help like answering pts.call light esp in the busiest time and when aides are in thier break.

Everyone have rights to be respect.And if you think that aide disrespect you,forgive her in her behavior.You might didn't know how hard her assignment and how stressful it was.She has the right to do whatever she wants to do in her break(except disrespectful).

Be patient and learned how to handled them...cause there will be a time that they can be a big Help for you!

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