They had some sort of hellbent idea that they could - get this - 'standardize care'. That's not the business I'm in, for crying out loud. The benefit? I have absolutely no idea. Some wondrous self-perception, I guess - but I'm with you on that one. That's what they couldn't answer. And believe me, we asked. Multiple times. Six or seven different ways. But it boiled down to this - every time:
Me: "Why is this to be done this way?'
Them: "To standardize care on the units."
Me: "Why on earth is that important? How is that even possible?"
Them: "Uh..." (literally)
Me: "What's the rationale behind this? What's the purpose?"
Them: "We want care standardized."
Me: "How exactly is that to be done? By putting in the same number of flushes?"
Them: "Well, that's how we want it."
Me: "I'm documenting according to the manual." (shows this person the manual page)
Them: "The manual's not written correctly." (I am not making this up)
Me: "Who on earth told you that?"
Them: "That's what's been decided." (In other words, someone pulled that out of their butt.)
Me: "Interesting. Did you tell that to the company rep when the program was purchased?"
Them: (realizing I'm smarter than their initial assessment, so they avoid the question) "Well, it doesn't work like that. You still only get three."
Me: "I'm not falsifying a document."
Them: "We're not asking you to."
Me: "I used fifteen saline flushes in Room XYZ yesterday. You're telling me to only account for three. How is that not falsification? I think an attorney would say it is."
Them: "Well you can only put 3."
Me: "I'm not. Write me up and I'm going to a lawyer with ALL the documentation."
Them: "Managers X, Y, and Z want it this way."
Me: "What are they going to do to us if we document correctly?"
Them: "Write you up."
Me: "I'd like to see that."
Them: "They've said they'll do it. There will be consequences."
Me: "What a load of tosh (my exact words). They'll hear from my lawyer, then, when I get paperwork. Because I will go to an attorney and I'll tell them I'm being asked to falsify a legal record - and I'll take ALL the email traffic on this subject with me where it's IN WRITING I'm only supposed to document three flushes even if I do eighteen." (We had scads of emails on this. I had them all.)
Them: (shrugging like I"m an idiot) "You can tell them [the managers] that if you want."
Me: (literally rolling eyes) "What's the purpose in all this?" (No, what's on second...this is going through my head.)
Them: "It's what they want."
Them: "They want to standardize care." (And I'm thinking - WHO'S ON FIRST?? OMG.)
Me: "By not providing correct care? Are you kidding?"
Them: "I'm not going to argue with you."
Me: "I'm not arguing. I'm telling you, loud and clear, I am not going to falsify a legal document under any conditions."
Them: (laughs condescendingly) "Then you tell them that yourself."
Me: "Okay. Let's go right now, then." And I got up and the person telling me all this almost came unhinged. "But I need a minute to print out all those emails." (I opened up my email and literally started printing.
Them: "They'll fire you."
Me: "Then I'll sue for wrongful termination. They're going to fire me because I refuse to lie? When I have documentation FROM YOU, I might add, that is essentially telling me to? And I can say you're threatening me as well. That'll last about five minutes in a courtroom."
Apparently they realized it just wasn't going to work on me. Or the rest of my unit. And the sad thing is - ALL OF THIS IS TRUE.