The Ancient Ones

Nurses Relations

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Has anyone else ever had this feeling? I had a patient that was so old that they had dementia, couldn't walk, couldn't talk, couldn't even feed themselves. The patient had hip surgery. Don't get me wrong, I do my job, but all the while I'm thinking why the heck am I taking care of someone like this in a hospital? Why doesn't the family just let this person die? I truly don't believe that this individual has any quality of life. Why not have some kind of rules as a society that says if you are so old that you can't get around, can't even roll yourself over in bed or care for yourself, or understand the world around you and what others are trying to communicate to you, and no hope of getting better, then your only option is hospice? Am I the only person who thinks that would be a good idea? I'm not suggesting to put a rag over their face and suffocate them. I'm just saying let them live their life, whatever time they have, without any significant medical interventions that will undoubtedly extend their time and suffering for years.

People are afraid to die, and people are also afraid to lose loved ones. But shouldn't a society that is severely over burdened with the cost of medical care draw the line somewhere? Just because we can extend the life of someone, doesn't mean it's always the proper thing to do. Comments?

sadly, some people keep their "loved one" alive so they can continue getting a paycheck.

i've seen it happen. another nurse told me of a case where a veteran's family member asked for him to be kept alive so they could get one last check.

there was an interesting study a few years back (pardon me but i have lost the citation) looking at elders in snfs and their families. the elders had to be fully alert and understand the questions. the questions asked by the nurse researchers were:

(to the elders) have you talked about end of life issues, living wills, and the like with your family? does your family understand what you want? what do you want? what did you tell them?

(to the family) have you discussed these issues with your mom/dad? do you understand what s/he wants? what does s/he want? what did s/he tell you?

you may be shocked by the results: of all families and elders who said they had had the talk and were completely confident that the elders' wishes were completely understood, there was only a 25% congruence between what the elders wanted and what the families understood they wanted. and this was in families who were ready and willing to have the talk and do what the elder wished. they wanted to do the right thing...but they really didn't know what it was, even though everyone thought they had it right.

so. advice? go online for the five wishes booklet and sit down and do it in writing. aging with dignity

I would agree with you that people should be able to choose to die mercifully. The optimal word though is choose, the OP and some of the responders do not think choice is an important part of healthcare decisions.

I think Ur taking some words out of context I don't think anybody is doubting the right to choice but rather posing a quest of can too much good become harm in a way?

alas, all life is not precious, even to those who are not condemned to live it in pain and suffering against their wills.

I think Ur taking some words out of context I don't think anybody is doubting the right to choice but rather posing a quest of can too much good become harm in a way?

Good has nothing to do with it, it is whatever the patient wishes.

As nurses we have taken a position, both legally and morally, to be the patient's advocate. Above all we are the PATIENT's advocate, not the advocate for society, not the advocate for healthcare nor any other group.

Even if a patient's wishes conflict with our own values, religion, or culture we must remember that we spent a lot of time and effort to lobby for a license to serve our patient's. We serve our patients, not our own values.

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