Taking things personally - page 3
by Tobygo2 3,874 Views | 28 Comments
Hi all, Does anyone have a problem separting what may be another nurse's plain bad mood to them being mad at you? I know we all have our "off" days, but when other nurses do I always think it's because something I have done. ... Read More
- 2Nov 10, '12 by babysteps25I agree w/ mariebailey. I am surprised by the negative comments about the original poster's "ego" when it seems the issue stems from self consciousness not self centered-ness. I had the same problem. I was so concerned with my co-workers liking me and perceiving me as a good new grad. Their opinions' really mattered to me so I tended to read too much into their reactions/moods. Now I don't let it bother me; I don't have the energy to worry about that sort of stuff anymore. There will always be someone in a bad mood, don't let it effect you!Last edit by babysteps25 on Nov 10, '12 : Reason: typo
- 4Nov 10, '12 by NurseDirtyBirdI do want to add that my hypersensitivity stemmed from growing up in a volatile home environment. I spent my childhood walking on eggshells and trying to gauge another person's mood. As I was frequently blamed for what happened if I misread the situation, I learned to be hypervigilant. I now try to read others' moods and it's incredibly difficult to separate what I internalized as a child (I caused the anger/rage/whatever and can try to safely navigate through it), with reality in the world at large (people are in their own heads, and I do not play a part in that little drama).
Being aware of how and why I think and feel that way has made it much easier to take a step back at work and realize that the crotchety nurse with a bad attitude has nothing whatsoever to do with me. Much less stress involved too, when I learned that disapproval did not always lead to violence.
That's my experience. If you've had experiences similar to that, maybe this makes sense.
- 0Nov 10, '12 by anotheroneI Dont really care what people think about me or if they like me or not. If i dont say hello and smile cheerly, I may not like you or it probably has NOTHING to do with you. If I was leaving stuff undone or messes I wound expect these looks. Even if I had an awful shift. I do not care anymore
- 0Nov 10, '12 by anotheroneQuote from Tobygo2What if they are mad at you or don't like you? If they are in power or bff with management then some worrying might be justified , otherwise probably not.There are many people with issues of their own that can spot someone with self esteem issues and too much eagerness to be liked.Certain people would be quick to use this to their advantage.Thanks so much everyone. I know it's not "all about me", I'm just very sensitive and tend to assume that people are mad, annoyed or do not like me for whatever reason. My own issue I know. Mariebailey: I did just order that book yesterday!!! Glad to here it's good
- 4Nov 10, '12 by Ruby VeeQuote from echoRNC711Sensitivity may be a strength, but oversensitivity is a weakness.Sensitivity is a strength not a weakness. We all seek validation,me too ! As you gain confidence as a nurse you will not be so affected by others opinion. It takes time. Try to develop your own practice and value that you have something very unique to bring to your pt...You!
I did a lot of comparing myself to others and ruminating about minor mistakes. This is something that in no way made me a better nurse and I wished I had learned sooner that I have the right to define my own practice. When I finally let go of others judgement s of meas paramount to my own only then did I then I feel happier.
Having sensitivity is a great gift to your pts. Celebrate it. Remember even if you have made a mistake, a mistake is the universe's way of telling you that you are still teachable. Gently, try to be patient with yourself.
Lastly as a sensitive soul recognize that people who act out are saying they are frightened in some way. If you see that root you can meet them with kindness and it won't feel so personal
- 1Nov 10, '12 by echoRNC711I seen a great article in Oprah Nov. issue on HSP highly sensitive people. What I liked about it is it highlighted where it can be used as a strength like being a great emotional leader who sees injustices and creates a voice for others.It was tempered with how to care for yourself as a sensitive person who may absorb your environment. It may merit a read.
The only one who can define if this is a problem is you. There is room for everyone in nursing. How quick we are to say change that. Why? because it doesn't fit with the norm. The only normal in life is found on the setting of a washing machine. It's time to make room for all personalities. I bet the pt of a HSP never has to ask for a pain med twice because her nurse already gets it.
- 2Nov 10, '12 by jadelpn GuideI am very hyper-sensitive. I can smell tension from a mile away. From someone having a bad day to hair standing up on the back of my neck tension. As I have matured, I have realized that although I sense it, I can and do have the power to stay out of it. I channel it into my patient care, and find the ER to be right up my alley, and I react methodically under pressure, and critical thinking is a strong point. Remember, sometimes when someone seems angry or upset to you, it could be they are in the zone and are just channeling their own energies elsewhere. Don't sweat it, don't pet it, and carry on.