Taking things personally - page 2

Hi all, Does anyone have a problem separting what may be another nurse's plain bad mood to them being mad at you? I know we all have our "off" days, but when other nurses do I always think it's because something I have done. ... Read More

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    And sometimes it is that nurse what just wants to pick on you. However, can't let it get to you.
    Not_A_Hat_Person and anotherone like this.

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    I had a RN look me in the eye and tell me, "I don't know what they were thinking when they hired you." It was my first nursing job and she was the lead RN that I was supposed to be training with. I was brand new and had questions and I guess it bothered her. She wound up complaining about me to the HR person, the one who hired me knowing I was licensed 2 weeks and out of school 2 months, and I got fired. That same RN said that she hated conversation at work and would move to the other side of the office to avoid a particular part-time MA who was known to ramble. Some people are just like that and some will snap at whomever is close by when having a bad day. Just take a deep breath and take it with a grain of salt (followed closely by a shot of tequila and lemon wedge. Kidding--I don't drink!). Remember next time that she tends to be overly-sensitive and brace for it.
    afjgnp and proud nurse like this.
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    1. Some people are just plain miserable.
    2. Everyone is entitled to a bad day once in a while.
    3. Sometimes it is all about you.
    4. Sometimes you don't have anything to do with it.
    5. No one ever said we have to like all people, all the time.
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    I remember one time the charge nurse I was working with (in LTC) took my MAR when I was done with the end of my shift, and started looking through it. I got all butt-hurt and upset because the CN "was checking my work," and how dare she? Who was she to assume I made mistakes? She just had it in for me, I knew it! I was fuming until she asked to count narcs with me. Turns out she was taking over my cart for the next shift and was looking to see what all she had to do. Oops! Totally not about me! At that point I realized I was taking things way too personally and none of it had anything to do with me. Ego-check!
    Pepper The Cat, multi10, DSkelton711, and 1 other like this.
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    Yes, been there and done it.

    My philosophy now is ..... "If it's not your s**t don't wear it ! "

    It's a simple motto that sets me straight every time .
    jadelpn likes this.
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    It pays to remember that in the movie of other people's lives your just an extra..... not a main character.
    anotherone likes this.
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    I don't know why people are saying "it's not all about you" when you acknowledged this in your original post. I am very sensitive to other people's moods/emotions as well. While I'm not always successful, I try challenge my perspective when I find myself wondering if someone else's anger or frustration has anything to do with me. Remember you may have no idea what's going on in their life outside of work. Try assuming positive intent and reframing your thinking. One more thing, I read this book called "The Highly Sensitive Person" in nursing school; I found it really helpful. I don't know if you are one, but here's a link to the book just in case: The Highly Sensitive Person
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    If someone's has peed in their cheerios, you don't have to eat them. You are there for patients, not popularity. Taking someone else's mood personally is a self esteem issue that you should think about exploring. Some people do have a hyper sensitivity to tension in the room, and because of any past experience can then reflect it upon themselvses. All that drama, they can tell it to Maury. Otherwise, do what you need to for your patients, you can't fix everyone all the time, nor should you attempt to. Yes, it is annoying when someone is definetely having a bad day. But no more annoying than if one is in the midst of trying to figure something out to have a co-worker say "are you mad at me?".....Really. With all due respect, stop it. You are doing nothing but driving yourself mad.
    anotherone likes this.
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    Sensitivity is a strength not a weakness. We all seek validation,me too ! As you gain confidence as a nurse you will not be so affected by others opinion. It takes time. Try to develop your own practice and value that you have something very unique to bring to your pt...You!
    I did a lot of comparing myself to others and ruminating about minor mistakes. This is something that in no way made me a better nurse and I wished I had learned sooner that I have the right to define my own practice. When I finally let go of others judgement s of meas paramount to my own only then did I then I feel happier.
    Having sensitivity is a great gift to your pts. Celebrate it. Remember even if you have made a mistake, a mistake is the universe's way of telling you that you are still teachable. Gently, try to be patient with yourself.
    Lastly as a sensitive soul recognize that people who act out are saying they are frightened in some way. If you see that root you can meet them with kindness and it won't feel so personal
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    Thanks so much everyone. I know it's not "all about me", I'm just very sensitive and tend to assume that people are mad, annoyed or do not like me for whatever reason. My own issue I know. Mariebailey: I did just order that book yesterday!!! Glad to here it's good


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