Sure to Get Flamed for This

Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?

The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.

I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.

Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.

Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?

Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.

Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.

Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?

After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.

So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.

I've also heard that those who can't~~~~teach ;)

I had a horrible instructor for my first semester 2nd year who really didn't like me because I was overweight and reminded her of herself when she was FAT!!!

She literally would climb my butt the moment I walked into clinical and stayed there until the day was done!!! I used to turn my back to her and say "Get on...."!!!

I became A MUCH BETTER NURSE than she could ever be because I have compassion for EVERYBODY!!!! I don't care what you look like, you are a human being......

She, on the other, will never forgive herself or anyone else for being fat!!!!

I have compassion for her as well...... too bad she'll never know it!!!!

In reading this piece I was transported back in time to my days of nursing school in Scotland in the 1970s. We have come a long way from those days. In fact in some ways I agree with the contributor who seems to feel that we now have people in colleges who feel so entitled, that they cry "foul" at every perceived slight. I would love to take these folks back in time to the days when: You did "Matron's Rounds" as a student, were addressed only by your last name, and OMG if you did not remember every one of your 30 patients' diagnosis, length of stay so far, medication routine, dressing routine and suture count then be ready for a very public dressing down, because Matron did know it all. Oh and BTW we were NEVER allowed to write anything down in report, every detail had to be memorised. Students seen as not strong clinically could expect nothing less than harassment at the hands of senior staff. Doctors were demi gods who would never deign to talk with anyone below the "rank" of staff nurse. I had more than one instance of having my hair pulled from behind by a ward sister or matron because it had slipped out from underneath my cap and was touching my collar, the words, "cut it or tie it up properly" ringing in my ears. Abuse? Maybe, but the amount of discipline expected of us made sure that mistakes were few, you either "sank or swam." There are some things that were truly uncomfortable and unnecessary, like the public humiliation of students struggling with a particular skill. However I do still believe that expecting people who do a job like ours to have some grit, some backbone, is essential in order for them to emotionally survive years on such a challenging job, not all difficult experiences are bad for you, some in fact can be the impetus you need to move in the direction you are supposed to be going.

jd2nurse you are a voice of reason. Some of these posts are so disturbing. I welcomed my tough teachers even when they made me cry. It was my own frustration with not performing as I should have. I remember them more than the teachers who coddled students and credit them for making me search deep within to achieve stellar standards. When I first graduated and started working I was so scared and the other nurses (not all) would hold information and not communicate. Holding onto and not communicating vital information is very dangerous to the patient population. I was trying to figure out what was going on and how to navigate without any support. Nurses and I suspect many other female dominate careers do eat their young. We need to support each other and stop judging or competing. After 25 years + I happily put my arm around my fellow nurse as so many have done for me over the years . We need each other-young and older. I am here to support the new nurses knowing they are as scared as I was all those years ago.

Bullying IS NEVER GOOD. There are many other ways to learn right from wrong. I cannot believe certain nurses are advocating bullying a new nurse. This is against everything we were taught as nurses. This is how kids learn to bully.....their parents.

Admittedly:

I am not a "young one."

I have been haunting the halls of nursing since (edited-for-decency) was knee-high to a grasshopper.

I have haunted your bedsides.

Was I your aide? Your therapist? Your patient's loved one? Your boss, even? You don't care, but I might.

I might have pushed the button that saved you when you were still learning what you were doing.

Yes, I am upset by your post!

Not every new nurse is new to the halls of the hospital. Not every new nurse is LESS than you.

Sometimes it is best we shut up before we drown. Consider me shut up!

WTH?

Daggonit! I NEED to learn to SHUT UP!

Then again, I just read your post AGAIN.

I INTENSELY dislike judgmental people. That said, allow me to say: You are arrogant. Rethink this from the perspective of those who have worked like HELL to care for patients you never even considered 5 years ago!

Be sure you have walked in the shoes of EVERYONE you might meet before you get on the high horse. Otherwise, be prepared to be called out.

Arrogance is ugly.

Humility is acceptable!

UnaNayeli never learn to "shut up". Your words are important and positive unlike so many nurses posting here. We need more of you in our profession. I would be honored to work beside you.

Thank you, Lisa. My shame lies in wishing everyone could see what you do. I truly believe there lies a place where we can come together to both benefit the patients who need us and still help one another.

When did chewing up one another become a benefit to ANYONE?

I darn near vomited when I read the post you are responding to.....if I could "like" yours several more times, I would. Being tough, even brusque, isn't bullying. Being demanding, isn't bullying; there is NO place in life for bullying!

Bullying IS NEVER GOOD. There are many other ways to learn right from wrong. I cannot believe certain nurses are advocating bullying a new nurse. This is against everything we were taught as nurses. This is how kids learn to bully.....their parents.

Keep talking, Morte! Our new nurses need to know both sides of the fence!

thanks, I don't like self serving persons who try to excuse bad behavior.

Keep talking, Morte! Our new nurses need to know both sides of the fence!

Oh, lisaschroeder, I hope you didn't think I was advocating bullying by saying it was a way by which to learn life skills! There was a strong element of sarcasm in my statement - my BEST trait, I'm told - which does not translate to written very well - at least I can't do it. And I couldn't agree more: kids learn to bully from their parents...:no: