Please help me with my temper

Nurses Relations

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I have been a nurse for 4 years. I am a great nurse, get good reviews, I get along well with my coworkers, etc.

BUT. . .

Every once in a while I just lose it at work. I work in a very frustrating environment, a med-surg unit in an inner city hospital with a very difficult patient population. The hospital just changed owners and there is just chaos. Some days are SOOOOOO frustrating and I try to take deep breathes, go to the breakroom for a few minutes, even leave the floor for a few min to get a grip (and steal a few puffs of e-cig in the stairwell)

Most days I can laugh it all off.

Every once in a while I can't and I end up swearing (not AT anyone just a random ****) or venting or snapping at someone or saying something inappropriate.

My coworkers are awesome and forgive me but I feel terrible afterwards. I watch them and while they get frustrated too they never seem to lose their cool like me.

How can I learn to control this? Please tell me what you do to control your temper at work when things get crazy.

Thank you.

Nurse Temper Tantrum

[quote name=AlphaPig

I watch them and while they get frustrated too they never seem to lose their cool like me.

[/quote]

They are probably medicated.

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I liked the suggestion of looking at the person who is (I almost did a nonTOS response, imagine that) annoying you and imagine him/her naked with spinach in his/her front teeth in front of the board of trustees. Or something equally fitting.

I had a friend who was a therapist who taught me to develop one mental image that really delighted me or made me laugh (for me, it was one of my cats barking (!) furiously at birds on the wire coming into the house near "his" window) and every time I noticed myself with a sad or angry thought going on to segueway right into it. Worked very well. Soon I got good at noticing sooner and sooner, and I thought a lot about that stupid cat making me laugh.

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Love it GrnTea!

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Specializes in neuro/med surg, acute rehab.

Thank you so much everyone - so helpful, so many things to think about. Didn't know about EA - will DEF look into it. I do want to deal internally with the problem - I think that by learning how to control this at work will help me with EVERY aspect of my life.

and ha ha ha Mulan, yes, they probably ARE medicated!! But I shouldn't laugh because I have had to go on Paxil (a year ago) and I admit, it has helped a LOT but I don't want to be on it forever.

and it's so true about the charge nurse setting the tone for the day! It's not an excuse at all, but a good charge nurse has a way of orchestrating the chaos and leading by example.

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Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I liked the suggestion of looking at the person who is (I almost did a nonTOS response, imagine that) annoying you and imagine him/her naked with spinach in his/her front teeth in front of the board of trustees. Or something equally fitting.

I had a friend who was a therapist who taught me to develop one mental image that really delighted me or made me laugh (for me, it was one of my cats barking (!) furiously at birds on the wire coming into the house near "his" window) and every time I noticed myself with a sad or angry thought going on to segueway right into it. Worked very well. Soon I got good at noticing sooner and sooner, and I thought a lot about that stupid cat making me laugh.

Your cat knows how to bark? Cool!

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Be sure to take care of yourself. When you are not at work do something healthy to relieve the stress and pressure you feel from your job, relationships, finances, etc. Go for a walk and listen to the birds. Work out at the gum as hard as you can. I like to grab a hoe and attack the weeds in my garden. I picture whoever really pushed my buttons that day as I am hacking away at the weeds. ;) Be sure to eat healthy and get enough rest. Taking care or yourself outside of work helps you let the stresses at work roll off you "like water off a duck's back."

Finally when you are starting to get angry, ask yourself how important these things will be to you when you are on your death bed. You'll realize that whatever is bugging you is a momentary irritant and not important in the big picture of your life.

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I gave up med-surg 15 years ago not knowing if my patients would all be alive from the poor service we were forced to give.

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