Passive/Aggressive

Nurses Relations

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Dont you just love nurses who,will ***** and moan about you behind your back and will also hold a resentment against you for days because you forgot to do something on your shift,no the patient was not affected, and she had to take care of it on her shift ,but she will not communicate face to face with you and give you feedback about the problem so you can correct your mistake?

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Yup.

I always have the courtesy to take a problem I have with someone face to face, in the moment. I expect the same. I don't have the time or the patience for those who don't return the favor.

Heather

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I face such people directly and pointedly tell them if there are any issues they are welcome to discuss them w/me. Those that do are met with only courtesy. Those that choose to stab me hear about it. And I know who they are....so do they. And they know I am direct and it usually cuts down on the bullshyt pretty effectively.

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Specializes in MS Home Health.

A pain in the orifice so to speak.

renerian

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OOhhhhhhh......

Just the other night, I walked up on the nurse I was to take over for to hear her say to someone on the phone... "She didn't do sh** last night!"

When she saw me, she hemmed and hawed around, and hung up the phone.

I said, "So, I didn't do anything last night, huh?"

So she gets very defensive and starts in about how nebulizer tubing wasn't changed and treatments weren't done and so on and so on.

I agreed, and told her that at the time tubing was to be chganged, I had a woman on the floor on her head...which was more important? and as far as treatments to be done...most were done....(like 2 weren't).

And....I was informed that a catheter needed to be changed, but the patient told this nurse I didn't know how to change one. (Where was it marked on the TX sheet that it needed to be done on this night? It wasn't marked at all! And it did get changed...)

Last but not least....I did inform this nurse that although I get to as much as I could, no, I didn't get to it all. I am a new nurse, only just passed my 3 month anniversary as a LPN, with absolutely no orientation, and I am trying to do the best I can. And no, I don't get everything done every night trying to muddle through and learn things on my own, and if she has anything else to say about me, I would appreciate her saying it to me.

She ended up apologising, but it still grates on me.

Worst thing is, I thought she was my friend. Now I really see what it's all about.

Lately~ crap is really getting bad......

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Originally posted by Julielpn

Worst thing is, I thought she was my friend. Now I really see what it's all about.

Lately~ crap is really getting bad......

A great reason never to go to work, expecting to make friends. I am so sorry for this. What a HUGE letdown. Some people are just no damn good. period.:(

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Julielpn,arent some nurses just wonderful? And it is a huge let down when a nurse who is supposedly your friend or a nurse whom you "used" to respect pulls this passive aggressive crap.

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Yea, you gotta watch out for those passively aggressive folks and those aggressively passive ones always get you when you're not looking.

I like the agressive agressive types and the passive passive types. At least you know where they're coming from.

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funny I should happen upon this thread after last night/this morning...

okay, no big mystery , as far as nurses go, I'm a relatively young one..okay fine, but it doesnt mean that I dont know what I'm doing ...

well we have this "seasoned" (thats what she calls herself) nurse and she was on the team I worked on last night, keeping in mind that they have 3 nurses on that team for days and I was on my own with that team overnight, okay so she's talking to the boss and fussing because in one of my three (one out of three!!!!!!!!!!!!!) isolation rooms, the isolation hamper had some gowns in it *Gasp* first of all it was by no means full and secondly the patient had a bazillion family members in and out of there, so after I go in do my thing ,tidy up and whatnot they go in and mess it all up again .... I didnt even try to say anything because I knew where the conversation was going as soon as I heard the following "well I'm from another generation, another school of training , where importance was placed on things that arent important to the young nurses today"

yeah like culturing bacteria to come up wity penicillin, well we have penicillin now, so lets step into the year 2003 already

sheesh

okay this isnt an older nurse vs younger nurse post, cuz trust me when I say I have tons of "seasoned" nurses that I get on just fine with, I happen to think that this "seasoned" nurse is also the passive/aggressive sort we are talkin about....

where is a nice seasoned pasture when you need one?

:)

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I totally agree........ why can't people just vocalize to the appropriate person... esp when it is silly things that dont affect the patient.... but are housekeeping type things....dumb things..... the patient is fine, they got what they needed... how about u ask how my night was before you jump to conclusions??? dont mind my probably incoherent speach...i just worked a night last night :)

ranting and raving and not telling the right person does nothing but decrease the morale of the unit.... i could go on.... ugh... that has to be my number one pet peeve though......

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Originally posted by Glad2behere

I like the agressive agressive types and the passive passive types. At least you know where they're coming from.

hee hee! That made me laugh out loud. T

here are two or three senior nurses in my office who are that way. They just complain and hiss about other people without ever taking actions to solve the problem. I hate that!

Do you ever feel that women in paritcular are socialized to be that way? I remember my mother's disapproval at females not getting along. It's as though young women are never supposed to be confrontational, and this is what becomes the norm.

Ach. I'll step down from my soapbox now...

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Well ..heres an issue I run across..When I start out with a new group I test the waters..Point out things they missed, show them how I fixed it it to cover their Butts..and ask for the same courtesy in return..Trying to set a relationship of team work and save the Big stuff for management....It has never failed in 12 years that this will be abused and violated usually within a few weeks..When confroting the Honeys they become even more aggresive and vindictive in thier quest to RUN to management and even make up things to tattle on...All the while smiling to my face..it baffles me to this day and I am wholehartedly convinced this continues to be the root of all evil with repsect to the Low Standing of Nurses overall..Management keeps tally to keep wages lower when its time for your review...and I doubt if there is really any monentary compensation for the RATS..just some cheap bizzare scoring they use to justify "WHO"S THE BEST NURSE"....I have seen people set up..people given NO HELP when needed,people so on the dirt list they have lost thier jobs really based nothing more on the tactics of a pack of Bullies..and no The patients do not benefit from this..The nurses do not benefit from this..The familes of the Nurses do not benefit from this..You all have experienced it..Think about it who even benefited...One sour She Devil for about 2 minutes,,Jeeze talk about total Negativity with a pointless outcome..+*+*+**+*+*****+*+*+*+*(Positive Dust and some good thoughts for all the good people out there trying to make a small difference)

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