"Nurses are so Mean" - page 15

by Ruby Vee

59,683 Unique Views | 219 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More


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    Sorry Nightengale Goddess. I think your politics are what's unhealthy. You seem to enjoy good health and use words like "coddle" when referring to care given. I think it's sad to feel one is on a higher realm than the rest of the world. Yet, you also reference a lot of new age "peace and blessings". I have seen more people freak out over the years because they tried to deny their feelings and deal with things, most of them talked like they were Dali Lama too. The fact that so many of you label yourselves as saviors is concerning. Goddess, no thank you. I have a creator and you are not it. I have seen people proud of the fact that they work in cancer units; not the type of pride that comes from doing a good job and helping humans with skill, but throwing it on license plates and t-shirts, blah, blah, blah. Did you ever think that maybe someone's loved one doesn't want to be reminded of that? It's a DISEASE!!! Get over yourselves. Aren't they still teaching psych in nursing schools anymore? Go to a therapist or someone for God's sake and dump all your "poop" there. Leave it out of the patient's rooms and their lives. These are viable human beings. They were or still are teachers, educators, parents, architects, etc. That's the one thing you got right....some of them are nurses too.
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    GB686, I don't really get where you're coming from here; but I believe RNs are here to foster life and independence. I see nursing as a spiritual path. I'm not the Dhali Lama nor espouse to be. I am a regular human trying to relate to regulars too. And humans are animals, and when stress hits, it's usually the animal who responds. I still will a world where the response to stress is from the higher centers of human conscienceness (sp?) . That means....support when you see weakness, act from the Christian or Spiritual self, and yes....let POOP slide off you like a duck! No one is bragging here. I am not Nightengalegoddess.......SHE was.............so chill.......OK?
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    By the way, 686; I am not as sharp as a physician. I am a regular RN who works med-surg and entered this profession after living in the outback for most of my adult life. I am still shellshocked when it comes to the way I see people treat each other in society...let alone...NURSING. What is really wrong with walking in beauty?
    FYI....walking in beauty is a Native American term, not an East Indian or Asian term. And what is wrong in putting your best forward? And what is wrong in seeing the best in anyone.......and what is wrong in being the best you can be.....mind body spirit? This is the kind of thing in nursing that surprises me exactly. When a nurse is happy, smiling, calm, and really very caring and nice...not only to the patients but the peers..........why is the nurse attacked?
    I wonder if I had said, "I am a 300 lb smoker, tired, sick, and limping, and a nurse. Let's walk in beauty, no matter what".........maybe that would've been different?.........Would that have represented that one has overcome personal physical challenges and become so resilient as to be positive..... would that have made the difference in your perception? Just wondering. Because many of us have suffered a lot......it is just not visible.
    And by the way...the license plates ..."chemo RN"........FREAKING PLEEEAAASE! Who really cares?!!!!!!!!!!!I love the saying of one of the RNs on this forum; wish I could remember the name........"they don't care how much you know until they know how much you care".
    I don't coddle my patients. I foster their independance to whatever degree they are physically allowed. I do the same with my son. And I do find, that honesty, humor, a good explanation of pathophys (ie, plumbing and cooking)........and a high degree of compassion, eye contact, and true caring.........will drag a patient with learned helplessness out of the dark into a new day. I think, 686, we may have more in common than apparent at first. And that feeling, that we all have more in common than opposing.......that is real spiritual understanding..........patients and nurse to nurse alike. Yes......blessings.......and walking in beauty no matter what!
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    Just a gentle reminder to debate topics, not people.

    There is room to disagree on all kinds of subjects. But what nursing needs is solid set of core values that includes kindness and decency toward each other. Why should anyone else listen to us--heck, why should we listen to each other--if there is only carping and complaining.

    Yes, there are many things that cause friction and need improvement, but we are not each other's enemies. At least, we shouldn't be.

    In the name of good body mechanics, we're taught to push rather than pull. Oddly enough, in personal interaction it's just the opposite. It's a rare person who likes to be pushed into doing (or not doing) something. But being pulled (magnetically attracted, drawn into, inspired) is another matter altogether.

    If you can find a point of connection--with a peer, a patient, a fellow AN member--that's a good place to start. Investigating and exploring differing points of view goes down easier when you start with something you share.

    This isn't just ooey-gooey claptrap. It's an encouragement to look for the spark of shared humanity in everyone you come in contact with. When you find that tiny flame, it's harder to shake your fist and rail against the other without feeling the harsh vibrations in your own soul. This is the basis of empathy. And without that treasured attribute, we are lost.
    nightengalegoddess likes this.
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    I hate it when someone has a bad experience with a nurse (or anyone in any profession) and then declares that all nurses are mean. I have actually heard people do this (face to face conversations). It is like nails on a chalkboard.
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    I think that as we are unable to tell the patients that their behaviour/demands are unacceptable we have to bite our tongues and deal with them and their abuse. We are unable to say anything when xray/Drs'/porters/other departments snap at the nursing staff. I feel that sometimes i have abuse heaped on me when actually the fault is nothing to do with me, its all to do with who is nearby at the time which happens to be our nursing colleagues.

    Ive only been in post 6 weeks ,im newly qualified and im tired of being snapped at, especially when i have asked a question, im tired of being abandoned and left to get on with it, i need a little support and a little education from the staff that have done the job for years and know the biz inside and out.

    Im sick of the ********,back biting and one-up-manship,its not healthy.

    I worry that im gonna end up like the people i work with
    Last edit by Chixie on Jul 12, '11
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    i think everyone should visit this post.
    for those who won't accept bully's exist in nursing you might just get a new perspctive about the seriousness of the problem

    staff development and funding
    dec 01, 2007 written by jbudd [color=#1750ff]platinum member | 0 comments
    print email follow
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    I don't think anyone's denying the existence of bullies or bullying. As has been clarified many times, by the OP among others, this thread began talking about nurses who, due to their lack of insight and ability, chose to blame the nurses around them rather than look at how their own behviour and demeanour may play a part in their work environment.

    Ruby Vee specifically referenced those nurse who a) believe more experienced nurses are jealous of their youth and good looks, and b) find horrible people wherever they go. She suggested that these nurses look at themselves before pointing the finger.

    Also, and I'm speaking only for myself here, a large font doesn't make me pay more attention to a post it just makes me feel like I'm being shouted at.
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    I apologize for the bold type. It was not deliberate or intentional. It happened because I copied and pasted the title of the Article and I couldn't change it. The problem with Ruby's responses and some of the others is they are assuming the the people who are venting their experiences are just venting and not taking any responsibility for the situations they find themselves in. Further no one is saying just because one person had a bad day and was rude or cranky all nurses are rude and cranky. There is an obvious disconnet between reality and The Florence Nightingale Syndrom cherished by some. It is interesting to me, almost without exception, no one on either side is saying "I hate my job" or "I hate Nursing". It seems to me the message here is a plea from these nurses to help
    them do their job to the best of their ability. If anything can be assumed it could be they love nursing they just hate the politics. Bottom line is there are far more bullies in Nursing than anyone wants to admit to and it goes on because it is an accepted practice in the Nursing Profession. The Article I pointed out deals with Funding for Nursing Education written by a DSD. She points out why Nurses leave Nursing, the stress of being a Nurse and how it could benefit the Medical Institution, the Nurses and the quality of care provided to the patients we serve. It is worth the read if for no other reason than recognizing there is a need which is being ignored.
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    I see you haven't been a member of AN for very long.

    I've read dozens of threads by junior nurses that really do start "I've just started in my first job and OMG the nurses are so catty and horrible - they're clearly jealous of my faulous beauty and witty rapport with the doctors" or "I can't believe that even in my sixth workplace the nurses are total ****** who just want to tell me what to do!" When they give details they're clearly in the wrong, but posts to that effct by more experienced nurses result in accusations that we, too, are jealous old hags.

    I suspect Ruby Vee started this thread in response to one too many similar threads. It's not that there aren't bullies, it's that not everyone who cries "bully!" is actually being bullied. Sometimes they're stupid and/or entitled.
    CCL RN likes this.


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