Nurse Mobbing/bullying - page 5

:balloons: I am new to the forum and would like to get feedback from others who have experienced mobbing/bullying/harassment in the healthcare field. Please share so others might learn more about... Read More

  1. by   HarryPotter
    Quote from LuciGirl
    Thanks to DestinyStar for sharing her situation. I am trying to learn more about mobbing and preventive strategies for the workplace..........
    Go to web sites re bullying in the workplace: a good one with many other links is www.bullyonline.com , a good book to read is The Bully at work.
    Yes, u need to educate yourself about this phenominum. It occurs in all business and for sure in the Healthcare Industry.
    In January, I will have my web-site up as I am a RN educator/mediator re: bullys. My slogan is "No more Victims." I will put u on my buddy list so I can let u know about it when its up.
    Education is the key. Knowing the subtle forms bullys use, the costs to people and businesses, the "personality" of a bully, what step u can take. All these are very important to know.
    Many "victims" feel so down-trodden they do not speak up. This is the worst thing to do. In fact, it helps perpetuate the bully mentality. You need to address these issues in a professional manner. If you feel u are a target, u need to keep a written record using the 5 W's "Who, What, Where, When, Why." Keeping a paper trail is very important. E-mail your manager or human resource person and ask them for their prosessional advise. Put everything that happens in the meeting on paper. If human resources says they are going to follow up, ask them in writing what they did and what the resolution was.
    This may sound extreme to you, but even small assaults from a bully can escalate into an ongoing problem. Often, a bully has become friendly with management (see articles on bully personality from www.bullyonline.com) so do not have private conversations with the bully. Write everything down, and use the 5 W's "wh, what, where, when why." Be Professional. You ay want to go to human resouces to ask for their advmise. Tell them the situation. Ask them to mediate with u and the person. Do not complain, come with solutions. And do not gossip about this as it will only ad to the problem (gossiping is something a bully does)
    Be very prepared for the meeting. Stay relaxed. Stay professional. Give yourself the respect u deserve. Come into the meeting with solutions, so you can say things like "You know, when such and such happenened, I felt such and such. I am sure u did not intend for me to feel that way, and I have been thinking about it and wanted to ask you that in the future when such and such situation comes up, you would respond in such and such way. (get the point?)
    Hope this helps. Lynne
  2. by   pickledpepperRN
    This is the best book for nurses on the subject:

    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

    I think we got the idea for a "Code pink" (not an official code at our hospital) from that book.

    There was a particularly abusive surgeon (always someone). We called a "code pink" when he began calling a nurse "stupid" for not having a lab result ready (he didn't order the test).
    Our clerk and several nursing staff brought clipboards, stood in a circle around him in the nurses station, and 'recorded' everything that was said.
    Suddenly he stopped and asked, "What the *** is this?"

    We told him that we were witnessing so we could write to the Chief of Staff.

    Funny he never abuses nurses on our unit. He tried with a new registry once but we came ready to 'record' and he began to walk away.
    A nurses called out, "Oh, doctor, please come back and collaborate with the professional nurse caring for your patient. Otherwise she will have to call you."
  3. by   timewood
    Quote from alphafe
    Could it be that nurses have internalized much anger from often having a history of overwhelming caregiving -- often to dysfunctional family members in their own childhoods? I hypothesize that a disproportionate number of nurses are:
    children of alcoholics, incest survivors, battered women, or women who were forced into caregiving roles at an early age (the family member who "parented the parent..." They identify with caregiving but are furious at having to do it and, management/superiors represent the big bad parent... Please comment
    I think that this is the case with some nurses who bully--yes, absolutely. You are trained up in the way of the caretaker so much so that it is not what you do -but sadly, all you are. When a child feels helpless and forsaken during every single day of their childhood, they can either grow to create this same "vibe" as adults in those around them or they can marry/are employed by/ make friends with thier wounds from childhood. So nurses are often either bullies themselves, or experts at dealing with bullies (energy vampires, dyfunctional people, addictive personalities etc. etc.) I think this is the root that leads to horizontal violence.
    Having said that- I know someone (a family member) who has borderline personality disorder. This person came out of the womb spiteful, cruel and violent. No need to point to a bad childhood there..just a "bad seed". In this person's case and in the case of those who have bullied for so many years, I do not see any reason to hope that educating or "empowering" them will change their behavior. It is best to make nursing a profession with zero tolerance for bullies. Period, flat and final.

    I am an a non-traditional student and have been painfully embarrassed at the behavior of some of my instructors. They are clinically brilliant, but agonizingly immature and transparently manipulative... they are perpetuating the "old school" of nursing...something I refuse to pass on. Nursing is my third career-the one that I have wanted for so long. This is the ONLY profession where I have seen horizontal violence so common and rampant. My mission after I graduate is to find a place for me where the environment is like the experiences I have had in the past: positive, professional, fun and affirming. I am this way and (blessedly) so are the majority of the other students in the program. We are keeping our attitudes up and our ethics and morals firmly in place. I feel very honored, happy and humbled to be in the class that I am in.

    In addition to the links about bullying, I highly recommend Verbal Abuse by Patricia Evans. I highly recommend anyone and everyone to read about her decades of experience with bullies and people who stay with them.
    It is an incredible book.
  4. by   HarryPotter
    this is a very interesting discussion to me a I have been attempting to uncover the cause of all the bullying, victim mentalities, horozontal violence in our profession. I think that your comments about internalized anger, history of overwhelming caregiving, being an expert in dealing with bullys, etc. is very good.
    I have certainly seen a lot of bullys and victims operating throughout my nursing career. As psychiatric nurse, I tend to look at behaviors as mechanisms to try to fix a problem, and that the solution can often become the problem. So, following this line of thinking, I go back to what I have said before: what a victim gets out of being a victim: gets to avoid responsibility, gets to blame others, gets to form a group or be a part of a group that are also victims, gets to be righteous The bully, of course, gets to be right, has the power (or feels a lack of power), gets to dominate. Will write more along these lines later when I have time...but wanted to get this up in response to your commets and wanting your comments about my comments as well.
    Also, I am wondering if anyone knows the meaning and the source of a pharse I have heard a lot: "Nurses eating their young." What is that all about?






















    Where does the phrase "nurses eating their young" come from?
  5. by   mattsmom81
    I first heard the phrase about 15 yrs ago from a LPN back in school to become a RN. She used it when the experienced RNs didn't give her what she wanted: unconditional support, while at the same time she took smoke breaks every hour and ignored her patients. Maybe this is why the term bothers me...as I remember this first lazy nurse who used it as an excuse' and an attempt to hurt others who were not 'supportive enough' to her.

    Another manipulation and victim tactic? Probably...the phrase itself promotes victimization. Our profession is rampant with the same.

    How to stop the cycle...a whole nuther problem. I refuse to take part in it, refuse to gossip, refuse to mob or bully any nurse...if we can stay practical and professional we can break the cycle for ourselves anyway...but we cannot change another's behavior as easily.
  6. by   LPN1974
    My DON is also a bully in the work place. I don't want to give details for fear someone who works there may also be a member of this board.
    She has bullied most of us at one time or another, but seems like she always picks on certain people more. And my job has policies against such as that, one is "Abuse of Authority".
    I don't understand either why it has to happen. Bullies and nurses eating their young. I think more should be done at the level when nurses are students. They need to be taught THEN that it's unacceptable for nurses to act this way.
    If we all lived by the Golden Rule, Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. But it takes all kinds to make this world go around.
    There is always going to be someone who is unkind and somone else who ends up being the victim.
  7. by   HarryPotter
    I love the idea of having part of a nursing cirriculum (sp?) address this problem. I wonder how it could be done without scaring new students off??? I still think that Legislation migiht be the way to go. what do u think?
  8. by   stbernardclub
    DID YOU REALLY ASK HER TO GO TO THE PARKING LOT???
  9. by   LPN1974
    Quote from HarryPotter
    I love the idea of having part of a nursing cirriculum (sp?) address this problem. I wonder how it could be done without scaring new students off??? I still think that Legislation migiht be the way to go. what do u think?
    Were you replying to me...in the suggestion of this being taught in nursing schools?
    Do schools ever ask for and get any feedback from licensed nurses already out in the workforce....about different issues?
  10. by   Blackcat99
    Quote from stbernardclub
    DID YOU REALLY ASK HER TO GO TO THE PARKING LOT???
    If you're talking about the situation I experienced Yes I sure did. I was absolutely furious! :angryfire
  11. by   timewood
    Thank you for the recommendation...I have it on order from Amazon and can't wait to get it! Happy Holidays!






    Quote from spacenurse
    This is the best book for nurses on the subject:


    http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...glance&s=books

    I think we got the idea for a "Code pink" (not an official code at our hospital) from that book.

    There was a particularly abusive surgeon (always someone). We called a "code pink" when he began calling a nurse "stupid" for not having a lab result ready (he didn't order the test).
    Our clerk and several nursing staff brought clipboards, stood in a circle around him in the nurses station, and 'recorded' everything that was said.
    Suddenly he stopped and asked, "What the *** is this?"

    We told him that we were witnessing so we could write to the Chief of Staff.

    Funny he never abuses nurses on our unit. He tried with a new registry once but we came ready to 'record' and he began to walk away.
    A nurses called out, "Oh, doctor, please come back and collaborate with the professional nurse caring for your patient. Otherwise she will have to call you."
  12. by   Mystery5
    I read every post in this thread, very instructive. I've never heard this term 'mobbing' before, can someone give me a definition?

    I think I work in a relatively healthy work enviornment. One new thing they are trying to do where I work is encourage healthy communications bettween staff, using 'I' statements. They want us to get used to communicating bettween ourselve instead of writing one another up all the time or running to our managers.

    I find this approach empowering. It makes the assumption that we are all adults and makes us accountable to one another.
  13. by   Town & Country
    The director of nurses threw a chart at me when I started a new job as an LPN. When I asked her why she did it she said "You didn't tell me you were going to call the doctor" I was "new" and didn't know she wanted to be notified before I called a doctor. I was furious! I told her " B****. I don't care if you are the director of nurses. Let's go out to the parking lot and finish this" She refused to go outside with me. I finished my shift and told the administrator that I quit and would not be returning and why. She begged me to stay. About 6 months later the administrator called me and said "That crazy woman is gone now. Can you come back now? I said no thanks I have another job now.
    I LOVE it, LOL!!! :hatparty:

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