I'm seeing a lot of unprofessional posting here related to venting about patients - page 10

Hi, I'm just a newbie here but I have to comment on what I'm seeing here. Specifically nurses sharing their stories of their interactions with difficult patients. Surely it is unprofessional to... Read More

  1. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    0
    Quote from metal_m0nk

    What if I said that reading/hearing people write/talk viciously about others like in the example I posted up-thread was something that frustrates me? It does. No lie. I am expressing my frustrations here too.

    At least I am trying to show enough respect for the people who frustrate me to not slander and insult them while I do it.

    I'm all for venting. I'm also on the side of showing some restraint and keeping it about the frustration itself and not taking it to an inhumane level.

    That's all I'm trying to say here. You're free to disagree with me. I'm not offended or even frustrated by your point of view. I agree with most of what you're saying. Nurses should absolutely have a place where they vent their frustrations with people who understand just where they're coming from. I have never and would never criticize that. Ever. But there is a line. A human decency and respect line. And when it is crossed in the name of something so therapeutic as venting, no less, my heckles go up and I feel it is my responsibility to say something.
    I wasn't even directing my original comment to you, please stop quoting me. I am done discussing this.
  2. Visit  SionainnRN profile page
    0
    OP I just don't understand how we are allowed to vent, in your opinion, but not allowed to mention patients. That makes absolutely no sense. And venting in needed, now if someone was saying how when they have difficult patients they like to miss their IV sticks on purpose, that's a whole different story. When they complain about not being able to take care of their patients because one patient or their family harrasses them, that is a legit complaint. Like others have said, if/once you get into the real world of nursing your opinion will probably change.
  3. Visit  metal_m0nk profile page
    1
    Quote from nursel56
    I don't mind your style at all, and what I meant was more along the lines of nurses calling other nurses out when they write such broadly hurtful diatribes. There's a good amount of internecine warfare here, too. Many times we make each other cry, but you won't hear many admit to that.

    Much as we ***** and moan about it, we need our gadflies. Generally it's the people who initially strike others as a nuisance,(generally, not you) a conscience, or start the whispers in our own heads we'd rather not hear that pave the way for the more genteel social changers to follow. I tend to go against the grain on this forum on matters which I'm sure certain people here would prefer I just shut the hell up about, but . . .well I can't do that, and with that group I'm not an insider. Yet they tolerate me for the most part.

    I'd rather have a gadfly or even a bomb-thrower with well-thought through ideas than a gushing pile of BS somebody dashed off in 50 seconds. Someone who takes the time to mentally put themselves in the other person's position as much as humanly possible is the person I want around, once I take a look at what is causing my indignation. You mentioned something about coming back after a vent and posting thoughts after the initial brushfire has been contained. One of the most frustrating foibles of the forum is that there are so many times when the loop isn't closed, or a longtime member disappears without a trace, and there's nothing we can do about it. We respect their privacy, too.

    Someone will post a "help me" or a "support me" or a "what should I do?", have people take the time to offer what they asked for, and they never come back, or they never let us know if they were fired or they lost their license or, or . . .I know you've seen them. It makes me appreciate the ones who call people out but stay for the "talk" that follows.

    Lately we've been called on to provide support to a member that is so much the gold standard it puts most of the day to day crap into the wind, which I only bring up because I've been so affected by it. Anyway, I can't speak for anybody but myself. I hope you continue to hang around and make us think.
    Thanks, nursel56. I think you rock pretty hard.

    Sorry to derail the thread, but I had to say it
    nursel56 likes this.
  4. Visit  jennilynn profile page
    2
    Most of us come here to vent because others can relate in some way or another. We, as nurses, have to have some sort of outlet for our joys, sorrows, frustration, etc. and unless you are in the trenches, I'm sorry, you just.dont.get.it.
    I can tell my family about my night at work and, even though they try to understand and be attentive, they just don't know how it impacts me.
    Allnurses is a great sounding board for emotions and wealth of information and knowledge.
    Again, to the OP, walk a mile in our shoes, then come back and tell us how real nursing is compared to the ideals of nursing school.
    beckyboo1 and SionainnRN like this.
  5. Visit  psu_213 profile page
    2
    Quote from barnstormin'
    Of course they are already people I know. The point I was attempting to get across was that we are not as anonymous as we might like to think, imagine if you are posting a vent about a supervisor and they also post here. That could become problematic.
    I disagree. If I post a 'complaint' about a supervisor it is almost impossible that there is not some other nurse somewhere else in America who does not have a similar beef with his/her supervisor. I do not mention the supervisor's name and I am be a bit vague about the details (although I would offer enough of them to explain the situation to others). Because of this I have no worries that my supervisor knows it's me.
    loriangel14 and KelRN215 like this.
  6. Visit  psu_213 profile page
    4
    I have a relative who is a teacher in a public school...not a great school district, but certainly not the worst either. Without using student or parent names, he tells some stories of his experience in teaching that are roughly equivalent to the vents of nurses on this site. My guess is, there are some posters on here who would consider what is said to be 'unprofessional.' My guess is some site exists for teachers to vent. People aren't going to lose faith in school teachers because they vent about their work.

    I've seen sites for physicians where they vent about, amongst other things, their patients/families and the unreasonable demands they make.

    I've seen a site for flight attendants, and some things they say about their clients would make me think "what might they say about me when this flight is over?" They might even say it was a 'white guy on the flight from Phoenix to Seattle.' That is a heck of a lot more identifying information that is ever seen on this site.

    All of these professionals venting is, generally speaking, harmless, and I think they deserve a chance to unwind after a tough day and speak with other people who understand and experienced what they just went through. Don't you think nurses deserve the same opportunity?
    OCNRN63, JDougRN, loriangel14, and 1 other like this.
  7. Visit  mazy profile page
    0
    Quote from BlueDevil,DNP
    I don't believe that the OP is a nursing student at all. S/he has too many posts that demonstrate a very poor understanding of the culture of health care; consistently repeats incorrect contextual use of nomenclature that suggests to me that the vocabulary is most likely picked up from television, and multiple post have clearly evidenced that the individual has no foundation in the sciences. I believe that Garethaus is more likely a patient with an agenda, or an axe to grind. I suggest the board members pay him/her no heed. Admittedly, the OP's point about the disadvantages of this board being open to the general public is thus, unintentionally reinforced, .
    Judging from his posts on this site I'm going to say that he sounds lonely. Lots of ideas but not a lot of people to talk to about them. Good thing that this board is open to everyone.

    But. There are ways to engage with others and there are other ways.
  8. Visit  Raewynv profile page
    0
    As a nursing student myself, I always want to read what the nurses have to say in this section. It makes me think about what we are taught and how it affects how we are going to do our jobs. Not all of us students think we know everything as we don't. I for sure will stand up and admit that my knowledge is lacking big time compare to some one who is a nurse already. I know I am in for a big shock when I first step foot into the hospital but I knew that the first day I started study.
  9. Visit  Raewynv profile page
    0
    Quote from Jennybrie
    I usually do (stay on my side of the section) and agree with what all of you are saying about this topic and the attitudes that some of us students have. I'd wish some of my fellow students would keep their opinions to themselves and sit back and learn from those of you that have walked a few miles in the professional world. I come over to the "real" side of this nursing forum to catch a glimpse of what it would be like to be one of you. I would never think of telling any of you my opinion on anything about nursing because I have no ground to stand on.

    Please don't think all students are like the OP. I'm here to learn from you and am very happy that you show the real side of nursing that our instructors and text books don't talk about. My few hours at clinical doesn't scratch the surface of what it really means to be a nurse.

    I commend you all for your dedication and honesty. I hope after a few years I can come on to this site and vent along with you
    I dont always like staying on my side of the section either. How else are we suppose to learn from those who are already doing what we want to do.
  10. Visit  Garethaus profile page
    0
    Quote from SionainnRN
    OP I just don't understand how we are allowed to vent, in your opinion, but not allowed to mention patients. That makes absolutely no sense. And venting in needed, now if someone was saying how when they have difficult patients they like to miss their IV sticks on purpose, that's a whole different story. When they complain about not being able to take care of their patients because one patient or their family harrasses them, that is a legit complaint. Like others have said, if/once you get into the real world of nursing your opinion will probably change.
    What I recall I said was not that nurses shouldn't vent - vent all you like - just not online about patients. To me that is unprofessional. Finding other avenues to vent about patients would be a good idea.

    Well, I was at clinical today in Australia. I told the other four students about what I said on Allnurses. They laughed about the idea of complaining about their patients online. At our learning institution the dangers of posting on Facebook / social sites about patients personal information s often highlighted.

    Which brings me to another point - how can those of you who must have to 'vent' about patients / staff online be sure that some grub in some authoritive position won't use this information that some of you share online about patients / other staff members to adversely affect you later? Looking at what's been written about some of your colleagues, they might be mighty annoyed to see that you describe them as a drug user, if that information was made available to them.

    One of the reasons that I think people greatly object to what I originally wrote is that for them to consider stopping venting about patients online, would deprive them of what is a great pleasure in their lives, unprofessional or not.
  11. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    4
    Quote from Garethaus
    What I recall I said was not that nurses shouldn't vent - vent all you like - just not online about patients. To me that is unprofessional. Finding other avenues to vent about patients would be a good idea.Well, I was at clinical today in Australia. I told the other four students about what I said on Allnurses They laughed about the idea of complaining about their patients online. At our learning institution the dangers of posting on Facebook / social sites about patients personal information s often highlighted. Which brings me to another point - how can those of you who must have to 'vent' about patients / staff online be sure that some grub in some authoritive position won't use this information that some of you share online about patients / other staff members to adversely affect you later? Looking at what's been written about some of your colleagues, they might be mighty annoyed to see that you describe them as a drug user, if that information was made available to them.One of the reasons that I think people greatly object to what I originally wrote is that for them to consider stopping venting about patients online, would deprive them of what is a great pleasure in their lives, unprofessional or not.
    Nobody here knows my real name, the name of my hospital, or even where it is. My profile has a vague location (Country and province), and even if someone thought my description of a policy, colleague, or patient sounded familiar, they cannot prove anything, and it cannot affect me, adversely or otherwise.

    You spoke to other students who laughed about posting online. You are speaking here to nurses who do, who find this to be a good avenue to vent about patients.

    Ultimately, you can chose to find us unprofessional if you like, but at the moment, we ARE the professionals, you are the student.

    You aren't going to change anyone's mind, and we aren't going to change yours.
    OCNRN63, wooh, SionainnRN, and 1 other like this.
  12. Visit  Garethaus profile page
    0
    Quote from SaoirseRN
    You aren't going to change anyone's mind, and we aren't going to change yours.
    Respectfully, you don't speak for everyone on the former. And you're right in the latter, on this issue I'm not going to change my mind.
  13. Visit  SaoirseRN profile page
    0
    Quote from Garethaus
    Respectfully, you don't speak for everyone on the former. And you're right in the latter, on this issue I'm not going to change my mind.
    You don't have to, either, and I will acknowledge that you feel the online venting is unprofessional. You ought to acknowledge that a great many nurses here do not.

    Edited to add: I meant to say, "you don't have to change your mind"

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