Finally a Nurse Manager That Does NOT Tolerate Nurses Eating Their Young

[OnlybyHisgraceRN]

It was a breath of fresh air when I interviewed for a RN internship and the NM told be she does not tolerate bullying or nurses eating their young.

My mouth almost dropped as she spoke those words, as I never seen a manager feel so strongly against it.

She went onto say that she have fired a few nurses who were bullies, even though they were very competent as nurses.

I wish more NM had this attitude. I just don't see why it is so hard to come in, do our job, and keep the peace. I don't come to work to make friends, however I also don't come expecting to have to constantly defend myself from immature, catty, coworkers on a daily basis.

Obviously, we have so many personalities in nursing and there are times when people are having a bad day. However, people need to think a few seconds before saying things out of their mouths. Not sure why this is so hard to do.

Seems like this NM gets it. Maybe if more managers hold nurses more accountable for their actions we will see less bullying in the work place.

[mazy]

I agree with you with many things except for the fact that it is a red flag that bullying exists on the unit. That is not a red flag to me as I know that there is lateral violence almost everything. This NM simply made a comment that she has a zero tolerance for it. I rather for a NM to be upfront and honest about it then to not say anything. How is that a red flag? Just curious. I also hate the term " eating young" but that was the term this NM used and many people use on this site. I think "eating" nurses happens at all levels. You have "know it all new grads" to seasoned nurses who came out the womb with a stethoscope around their neck !

At the end of the day I think we need to all evaluate ourselves and to think about what we say or do and how it may affect someone else. I appreciate assertive and direct nurses very much. I believe there is a place in nursing for everyone's personality. However, deliberately going out of your way to be physically or verbally aggressive to another employee should be grounds for write up and/or termination. Don't think this happens, it does. I worked with a nurse that physically and verbally bullied me. It took my complaints along with 5 other nurses and aides to finally have this nurse terminated. It should not even have go this far.

The red flag is not the question of bullying, it is the issue that it has become such a problem that the NM is laying out a zero tolerance policy in an interview with no real specific information about what that entails.

I would much rather work with a NM who says "we try to create a supportive, collaborative, and respectful environment for nurses that involves x, y, and z.

The idea conveyed to the interviewee is that by promoting and rewarding good things, the bad things are going to get addressed appropriately. However fantastical that might be...

I'll take working in a rewarding environment any day over working in a putative one.

As for the term "nurses eating their young," for every post that uses that term, there are a dozen posts asking to not use that term. Yes, it is thrown about, but it creates a very negative picture of nurses and nursing, and adds an adversarial tone to conversations that should be about identifying problem behavior rather than identifying problem nurses (usually the old ones munching on the young).

Let's condemn the behavior and not each other. As your NM seems to be doing -- not a good sign.

[wooh, BSN, RN]

I was fed ******** too at my interview.... Just saying. They always preach so many things. Ask the floor nurses for a real interpretation of what is going on.

I remember interviewing with a previous boss. Thought she would be AMAZING to work for. Now I'm pretty sure that she's the spawn of Satan. With amazing skills at making a giant turd look like a sparkly diamond.

[StudentNurse2011]

I think we've worked for the same NM.

I remember interviewing with a previous boss. Thought she would be AMAZING to work for. Now I'm pretty sure that she's the spawn of Satan. With amazing skills at making a giant turd look like a sparkly diamond.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

"bullying" is a term that is thrown around pretty indiscriminately these days. many seem to believe that any negative interaction constitutes "bullying," and any attempt to correct them is lateral violence. much of what new grads consider to be be bullying is merely an attempt to correct their errors in practice . . . possibly not the best "customer service" skills in the correction, but a honest attempt to help the new grad. i'd be hesitant to work for a manager who declared war on "bullying" unless she was more specific about how she defined bullying and what she did to correct it.

i agree that the term is very subjective, however i'm sure you and other nurses have worked with people that truly did make it their goal to make another employees' life hell. if you haven't seen this type of behavior, i would love to work where you work. i'm not hesitant about working there. as a result of her zero tolerance she went on to say the she has a great team and everyone pretty much works together. i didn't ask any details on the interview because i don't read into bullying. bullying is bullying imo. i also talked to another nurse that worked on that unit for 20 plus years and confirmed that the nm is pretty respectable. once again, the example you provided about correcting new grads is not what i'm referring to. i'm not sure if you were accused of being a bully for how you correcting new grads and that is why you have this idea of what "bullying" is.

even if this unit turns out to be a hell hole, i'm not going anywhere. i just simply stated in my op that i'm glad someone , somewhere speaks against bullying.

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

The red flag is not the question of bullying, it is the issue that it has become such a problem that the NM is laying out a zero tolerance policy in an interview with no real specific information about what that entails.

I would much rather work with a NM who says "we try to create a supportive, collaborative, and respectful environment for nurses that involves x, y, and z.

The idea conveyed to the interviewee is that by promoting and rewarding good things, the bad things are going to get addressed appropriately. However fantastical that might be...

I'll take working in a rewarding environment any day over working in a putative one.

As for the term "nurses eating their young," for every post that uses that term, there are a dozen posts asking to not use that term. Yes, it is thrown about, but it creates a very negative picture of nurses and nursing, and adds an adversarial tone to conversations that should be about identifying problem behavior rather than identifying problem nurses (usually the old ones munching on the young).

Let's condemn the behavior and not each other. As your NM seems to be doing -- not a good sign.

I think you and some other nurses are reading too much into this. How about we can all agree that lateral violence need to be addressed by the higher ups. I don't know this NM or the culture of the unit personally, but it is refreshing to know that there is a zero tolerance.

I also asked her what do nurses enjoy the most about working on the unit and the response was " We are like family and work as a team" Sometimes NM need to clean house to boost the moral of the unit.

[SHGR, MSN, RN, CNS]

Yeah, they can maybe fire a bully after everyone else documents their collective gluteals off, because things like "tone of voice" are just plain difficult to qualify (apparently) ... then pay severance and wait to fill the position whilst that person files a complaint that she was fired without cause. Said complaint goes on for months.

And the budget continues to spiral into the drain. Who wins?

[OnlybyHisgraceRN, ASN, RN]

Yeah, they can maybe fire a bully after everyone else documents their collective gluteals off, because things like "tone of voice" are just plain difficult to qualify (apparently) ... then pay severance and wait to fill the position whilst that person files a complaint that she was fired without cause. Said complaint goes on for months.

And the budget continues to spiral into the drain. Who wins?

This particular NM didn't name specifics. Not sure where people get fired over a tone of voice happens.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

I had a NM that claimed that this was her stance but what that really meant was she didn't acknowledge relational agression when it did exist and oh boy did it. Having said that if I ever get to NM status this would be my attitude.

[Morainey, BSN, RN]

Maybe one day I'll get bullied so I have something to post about... I might just be sheltered or lucky but I can't say I've experienced bullying or, ugh, young-eating.

That being said, I agree with previous posts where people stated that it's very subjective. I've been snapped at before, usually for some total bonehead mistake, huffed and fumed about it for awhile, and realized that that nurse was totally right. I only ran and told my NM once and then after I thought about it... I think I made a bigger deal out of it than it actually was. So... ya know... perspective, y'all.

[Holy Guiacamole, BSN]

As a nurse who's been called on the carpet for "bullying" It's been my experience that most new grads are amazingly thin skinned and unteachable. Granted, being male may have played a small part in the issue given that I am also consciensious with my practice and insist on accountability with my preceptees.

[malestunurse]

At my orientation lectures this year for my Bachelor of Nursing degree the course coordinator talked about a case where a student was in her first placement at a hospital and was there about 10 minutes and was already being bullied by her nurse supervisor in the hospital. Yelled down the ward at the girl in front of all the staff and patients "I don't know why you bothered to show up I'm going to fail you no matter what." It just happened that the course coordinator was going around visiting the studnets and heard it.

Needless to say our course coordinator pulled the nurse into a room and had a chat with her. Poor student was in tears and was moved to a different placement.

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

Mine discussed building a good team in my interview. Now that I am three months in, I have found it is true. I love my floor. There's a few crank-butts and honestly it just kind of rotates around - everyone gets a turn at some point. But for the most part there is great team work and happy people who care about what happens to our patients and whether our floor is hitting its goals. So now and then the promises in interviews do hold true.