Dating Coworkers??

rngolfer53 · Jun 4, 2009

I know of a tech I work with who was dating one girl from our unit and another in the ER. Both girls knew about the other one... well one day (recently, I might add), both girls confronted said co-worker, and I don't think it was pretty :)

Obviously, a suicide risk with a plan. :jester:

chicookie, BSN, RN · Jun 4, 2009

Its against our policy to ask out another employee. Does anyone really pay attention to that? No.

I wouldn't want to date anyone here though. Unless he is one of the doctors/nurses that I adore but most if not all are married. sadness.

I only get asked out by the really really old and creepy. :scrying:

GaMBA · Jun 4, 2009

I've done it and see no problem with it. Adds a little "spice" to the worklife, lol :-) But seriously, as long as you're mature about it and it doesn't interfere with your job performance or the performance of your team, I don't see why it should be a problem. Just gotta make sure you keep work at work, and your relationship away from work.

pers · Jun 4, 2009

Relationships go bad and they suck, but it's not going to be any better or any worse for those 2 people just because they work in the same place. Their issues will just plain suck.

Speaking only for myself, I don't really care if their issues suck for them, I care if it sucks for me (and other staff). You may not have had the pleasure of working with two people (same unit, same shift) who aren't speaking to each other but have plenty to say about each other to everyone else (and of course within earshot of the ex). Or perhaps you haven't had the joy of an irrate spouse calling the unit constantly to "talk" with their spouse (or the spouse's new girlfriend/boyfriend). Even better are when they both quit without notice because they no longer want to work together (or one doesn't want to be "reminded" of the relationship).

All of this is of course in addition to when things are going well for the couple but the floor has to work short because they've had a family emergency (which I understand but it's a good reason they shouldn't be allowed to work together imo). Or the general discomfort for those of us who don't find their cutesy talk endearing or their "private" public displays of affection in staff areas.

I realize that's not every couple and I'm sorry to be such a downer for those who can (and do) seperate their personal and professional lives. However, if you've ever worked in such a situation then perhaps you'd understand why some of us prefer to just avoid the possibility entirely. At a minimum I don't think couples should work the same shift on the same unit (which has happened a lot where I work because they become a couple rather than start out that way).

deescorpio · Jun 4, 2009

Well, from my own experience, I would neve ever date someone the I work with. Its just messy an unprofessional. Trust me, I know. :cry:

RNandRRT · Jun 4, 2009

Speaking only for myself, I don't really care if their issues suck for them, I care if it sucks for me (and other staff). You may not have had the pleasure of working with two people (same unit, same shift) who aren't speaking to each other but have plenty to say about each other to everyone else (and of course within earshot of the ex). Or perhaps you haven't had the joy of an irrate spouse calling the unit constantly to "talk" with their spouse (or the spouse's new girlfriend/boyfriend). Even better are when they both quit without notice because they no longer want to work together (or one doesn't want to be "reminded" of the relationship).
All of this is of course in addition to when things are going well for the couple but the floor has to work short because they've had a family emergency (which I understand but it's a good reason they shouldn't be allowed to work together imo). Or the general discomfort for those of us who don't find their cutesy talk endearing or their "private" public displays of affection in staff areas.
I realize that's not every couple and I'm sorry to be such a downer for those who can (and do) seperate their personal and professional lives. However, if you've ever worked in such a situation then perhaps you'd understand why some of us prefer to just avoid the possibility entirely. At a minimum I don't think couples should work the same shift on the same unit (which has happened a lot where I work because they become a couple rather than start out that way).

wow. you sure have been burned by a lot of happy and unhappy couples dating while working together. Sorry for your luck. So I take it you're more forgiving for someone who has a family emergency that isn't dating or married to a co-worker?

In 17 years of working in healthcare I can honestly say I've never been subjected to any of the above any more than any other life problems from fellow employees that don't date anyone in the same hospital. Life happens, and if I can help someone I will, but their problems are never ever my problems. Why are they yours???

deescorpio · Jun 4, 2009

I agree with you.. Another persons problem shouldnt be yours. However, if it starts to effect the staff, than thats when it becomes a problem; especially if there are only five CNAs working the floor, two of them are a couple, so, of course they always want to go on break and lunch together! As if they are two highschool teenagers! That leaves you with only 3 CNAs on the floor. Thats a real headache! Beleive me:angryfire

RNandRRT · Jun 4, 2009

I agree with you.. Another persons problem shouldnt be yours. However, if it starts to effect the staff, than thats when it becomes a problem; especially if there are only five CNAs working the floor, two of them are a couple, so, of course they always want to go on break and lunch together! As if they are two highschool teenagers! That leaves you with only 3 CNAs on the floor. Thats a real headache! Beleive me:angryfire

I totally get that. But those scenarios are the extreme. But I can guarantee that there are just as many examples of staffing issues or hardships that happen every day that have nothing to do with intra-company dating. And again, I totally respect that if someone says it's not for them. I just don't get demanding everyone else be limited by their opinion.

You spend most of your time at work. Making new relationships. Why shouldn't we be able to find our one true love if he/she's at work with us?

coffee4metech · Jun 4, 2009

Well I met my fiancee at work and I was actually with someone else at the time he kept asking me to go out as friends to have dinner for a month solid . I finally agreed to go out for dinner as friends hahaha well that changed quickly . I broke up with my current BF and we began to date seriously and got pregnant and engaged and have to been together for over 2 years . I quit working where we had met and got job in retail , and then finally started in home care with an agency . We work in seperate professions now he is a kitchen manager / chef and I am in healthcare we compliment each other very nicely . But the great part was when I was pregnant with my daughter we worked together and I have some great memorys and lots of laughs working with him during that time and the staff and manager were very supportive of our relationship . We of course acted professionally when working together but it was a very special time for me to work with the man I am in love with .

pers · Jun 5, 2009

wow. you sure have been burned by a lot of happy and unhappy couples dating while working together. Sorry for your luck. So I take it you're more forgiving for someone who has a family emergency that isn't dating or married to a co-worker?
In 17 years of working in healthcare I can honestly say I've never been subjected to any of the above any more than any other life problems from fellow employees that don't date anyone in the same hospital. Life happens, and if I can help someone I will, but their problems are never ever my problems. Why are they yours???

I am not more forgiving for someone with a family emergency who isn't dating a coworker, it just has less impact because it's one person reporting off versus two. Perhaps every facility you've worked in has no problems covering for multiple staff calling off but that's not always the case where I work. When there are four nurses scheduled and two don't show up, it's a much bigger problem than if it were just one not showing up. If working with half staff isn't a problem for you, you are lucky indeed.

Again, their problems aren't my problems if they keep them to themselves. However, not everyone is capable of seperating their personal and professional lives and that's when it creates problems for the other staff.

RNandRRT · Jun 5, 2009

still sounds like an extreme example. I can't imagine many scenarios where both would have to call off. And if it was a chronic issue, that would need to be handled by the manager/director.

So I can't say working with half staff is a problem or not because it's never happened because most professionals I work with are just that, professionals.

So I still don't understand how your one extreme example should be the guiding light of policy.

Nothing personal. Just don't tell me I can't date or marry a coworker because you are afraid we will mess up your life. But you have every right to make that decision for yourself, and I respect that.

pers · Jun 5, 2009

When it's happening often with multiple couples you definitely get jaded. I admit that I thought it was cute the first time I worked with a couple. After a number of negative experiences, I have certainly adjusted my opinion.

I certainly don't tell people they can't date or marry a coworker but this thread is about people's opinions on the topic and it's a situation I prefer not to see. I suppose I don't see it as "extreme" because it's a situation that has happened many times on our unit. Our current policy doesn't forbid people from dating coworkers however it does forbid two family members (including spouses) from working on the same unit. The closest relationship between any two staff for us right now is a pair of cousins and even they aren't permitted to work the same shift.