Colleague of mine always wants to talk about "you know what."

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    I'm on a new unit and have been there a few months. Starting to get along with some of the nurses there and have found many to be very nice. One is a nice gal, and a helpful nurse to work with, but she also LOVES to talk to me about her sex life, which seems very adventurous to me as I am a long term married woman. (she is newly divorced). A lot of it I find really funny, and I just laugh at her and with her a lot of the time as we are the same age and station in life ...but I also have to wonder -- what is it about a person that makes them want to share this type of information? I mean -- it is TOTALLY off the wall stuff, and some of it even involves people we know and work with, to say the least ... LOL.

    At times it seems she almost LOVES finding me so she can talk about it ...as if it's almost a compulsion.

    Psych opinions, anyone? She seems like a very happy person ... I just have never seen anything like it.
  2. 8 Comments so far...

  3. 5
    Been there, done that, 30 years ago. She is looking for a boost to her self-confidence and wants it from you. Next time, before she gets going, tell her that you are not confortable with all her details, and would prefer to not hear them.

    Tell her you enjoy her company and you are happy to be her friend. But she needs to keep the details to herself.

    Best wishes!!!
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    It's most likely retaliation or seeking to prove to herself that she can have fun on her own accord. I wouldn't think much of it since she's newly divorced, whatever makes her happy.
    aknottedyarn and Poi Dog like this.
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    I think sometimes it's fun to share sexcapade stories with fellow female friends. I don't know how close you and her are but she seems comfortable enough share with you. Also, it seems as if you also enjoy her stories since you laugh at/with her most of the time. And who knows, maybe you can take some tidbits from her stories and use it in your own bedroom? hahaha
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    I don't enjoy hearing about any SPECIFIC person's personal life- sex, toileting habits, nose picking, or anything else that isn't done "publicly" without some degree of embarrassment; and if there's no embarrassment at being SO graphic, well, I'm not interested in ANY of that- LOL

    If there are general jokes about things, that's something different. Bodily functions, sex, farts, and whatnot are simply part of being human (and sometimes humans are pretty funny)... But to hear about Person A & B (and maybe C, D, and E ) doing the wild thing, horizontal samba, or even if it's "just" how peas make them have green lumpy diarrhea- find someone else. Patients are enough "graphic detail" to put up with ...
    carolmaccas66 likes this.
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    Quote from SoundofMusic
    Psych opinions, anyone? She seems like a very happy person ... I just have never seen anything like it.
    Let me start by saying I have 3 daughters, so...

    Pretty much the same reason teenage girls blab about their escapades (if they are of the extroverted personality)- they want personal affirmation. Is this normal/Isn't this cool/Do you think I'm a ****/I can do what I want/I'm not "owned"/etc..

    If you know the situation surrounding the divorce, what traits she felt were suppressed/denied while married, presence/absence of kids, you can pretty well plug-n-play with Erickson and Maslow, and come up with a fairly accurate needs/conflict resolution(s) grid.

    I have a guy friend who's similar in presentation. I know his behaviors are maladapttive and related to some seriously unresolved issues. Not a whole lot I can say, I just try to be one of the more stable people in his life.

    He's an RN, and has a daughter, also. The closest I've come to ringing his bell was to ask, "You realize that teen and pre-teen girls will seek relationships with men who mirror their father's behaviors, don't you...?"

    "Oh! Oh. man! That's low...!" I think there were about 2 weeks of celibacy.
    Poi Dog, sharpeimom, and aknottedyarn like this.
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    I had a friend (don't see her now) who was very graphic describing her sex life, even down to the tiny details. She wasn't young & she'd never been married. Now I think of it, she was adopted into a loving home, but her father died when she was fairly young.
    I don't think it's always to do with insecurity, as I've met very sexual people who are highly confident. Part of it is their genetic make-up, part of it is boasting & a bit of a 'shock, wow' factor, & part an enjoyable activity for them. Some young women do like older men, but I've also met older women who slept with many younger men - to make them feel young I suppose. To some it's just a big game.
    I find many psych patients are quite promiscuous, even the married ones. It's to do with that bonding factor we are all looking for; you meet someone (even if ur married/attached), and you connect with that other person on some sort of level, then you have sex, & see how it all goes from there. Many, many psych patients have affairs with numerous people - which I find interesting.
    If she's harmless & funny, I wouldn't worry about her. It's just some people's way to be like that. If she gets too lurid, just laugh and change the subject - but like my friend that was promiscuous, I'd say to her PLEASE use condoms all the time, & she did carry them round with her.
    I'd also be warning her (in a nice way) to be discreet re other colleagues - they might not appreciate their info being flung around, especially at work!
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    say that's T.M.I. and walk away


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