The Childish "I Wuv You" Act

[LittleTwinStars]

Once in a while, I'll have patients who will tell me that they love me and try to hug me, or tell me that they love me with big Bambi eyes if they think that it will get them out of perceived trouble or gain my favor.

I only want someone to hug me if I have known them long enough to know that they mean no harm, that I don't mind touching me, and that I have given some form of okay to hug me. In the ER, I rarely encounter people who fit these criteria. Furthermore, I am a healthcare professional, not their buddy. My first instinct is to step back and put a hand forward to keep the person at arm's distance, which I do not think is an inappropriate reaction. What I'm wondering is how to verbally set limits and explain why it is inappropriate without seeming punitive. I also want to keep it short. In the past when I didn't anticipate it, I'd simply say, "No thank you."

When I get the Bambi-eyed, "I wuv you," (yes, sometimes in baby talk), I either said, "Thank you," and moved on with whatever was occurring before the attempted distraction, or simply moved on with the conversation and actions. How should I handle the declaration of love?

Yes, I know that some people have mental retardation, are emotionally stunted, or have developmental disabilities that mean that their mindsets are that of children. I don't fault them, but I also want to explain to them why I have the right to be touched only when I want to. Pediatric or psych nurse advice would be great for this.

[fetch, BSN, RN]

For what it's worth, "non nursing" in profiles usually refers to highest level of education -- for instance, I have a BA and then went back for an ADN. Doesn't mean that poster is uninvolved in nursing.

if you see something you disagree with and don't have any desire for debate, just hit the back button and go back to browsing. Online, people can only get into fights that they seek out. If you disengage, the other person can't get in your face or follow you.

We're all just pixels on a screen, after all.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

For what it's worth "non nursing" in profiles usually refers to highest level of education -- for instance, I have a BA and then went back for an ADN. Doesn't mean that poster is uninvolved in nursing. if you see something you disagree with and don't have any desire for debate, just hit the back button and go back to browsing. Online, people can only get into fights that they seek out. If you disengage, the other person can't get in your face or follow you. We're all just pixels on a screen, after all.[/quote']

Definitely worth posting, HOWEVER, those willing to heed? Time will only tell, just my experience, lol...

Some LOVE to police posters at a given time, IMHO...

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

MODERATOR NOTE:

Several posts have been edited/deleted.

Personal attacks WILL NOT Be tolerated!

[CodeteamB]

Well, I have been thinking about this, and apparently missed quite a bit today.

OP, I feel like this is a really good post, it got us talking about something that had bothered me, but I had never gone so far as articulating, even to myself.

Veronica.c. I have read a couple of your posts today. It is clear to me that you have a strong identity as a nurse and high self esteem. I hope you will not allow this to lead you into judgment of others. There is more than one way to skin a cat, and people with different backgrounds and experience may have a great deal to teach you.

For me it comes down to this. Nursing is a diverse profession with many cultures and backgrounds represented. Someone who does not wish to be touched may be from a culture where this is unacceptable, may be a victim of sexual assault or abuse, may have some sort of physical impediment, may be a "germaphobe" or may, like me, just not like it.

I feel like OP posed an excellent topic of discussion and that it was fairly productive (I was getting tips) and then there was this giant elbow from the sky "IF YOU AREN'T LIKE ME, THEN YOU AREN'T ANY GOOD!" And this simply isn't true.

If you are a hugger, and this works for you, your patients, and your employer; then good on you, but, you have no place to try to shame or chastise those of us who aren't on board.

[Veronica.c]

Well I have been thinking about this, and apparently missed quite a bit today. OP, I feel like this is a really good post, it got us talking about something that had bothered me, but I had never gone so far as articulating, even to myself. Veronica.c. I have read a couple of your posts today. It is clear to me that you have a strong identity as a nurse and high self esteem. I hope you will not allow this to lead you into judgment of others. There is more than one way to skin a cat, and people with different backgrounds and experience may have a great deal to teach you. For me it comes down to this. Nursing is a diverse profession with many cultures and backgrounds represented. Someone who does not wish to be touched may be from a culture where this is unacceptable, may be a victim of sexual assault or abuse, may have some sort of physical impediment, may be a "germaphobe" or may, like me, just not like it. I feel like OP posed an excellent topic of discussion and that it was fairly productive (I was getting tips) and then there was this giant elbow from the sky "IF YOU AREN'T LIKE ME, THEN YOU AREN'T ANY GOOD!" And this simply isn't true. If you are a hugger, and this works for you, your patients, and your employer; then good on you, but, you have no place to try to shame or chastise those of us who aren't on board.[/quote']

You're right. Thank you for your input.