ABANDONED - page 4
by GitanoRN 6,271 Views | 39 Comments Guide
Certainly, several of you have witness this kind of treatment within families. Let me explain what I'm referring to, a week ago a teenager was brought to ED; after being examined by one of our ER doctors and labs.were done, he... Read More
- 1Feb 13, '12 by backtoworkI have a 6 year old terminal patient in hospice right now who CPS brought to us when the mother was abusing his pain meds and leaving him to suffer without his medication. All I can do is look at both the mother and child as critically ill because if I view her as evil..I will be overcome with hate and not be able to objectively treat this very dysfunctional family.
- 1Feb 13, '12 by nurse_kimboQuote from backtoworkThis is heartbreaking. I don't think any parent in the right frame of mind could do this. Addiction turns people into someone even their own families don't recognize. Very sad situation.I have a 6 year old terminal patient in hospice right now who CPS brought to us when the mother was abusing his pain meds and leaving him to suffer without his medication. All I can do is look at both the mother and child as critically ill because if I view her as evil..I will be overcome with hate and not be able to objectively treat this very dysfunctional family.
- 0Jul 10, '12 by DebblesRNQuote from Asystole RNI don't know of a single state in the US that allows a parent to abandon a child without legal action.My state allows parents to abandon children at hospitals. Keeps the parents from dumping them into dumpsters or in the woods.
Nebraska did until November of 2008 because they had 35 unwanted children dropped off at a hospital within 4 months, so they changed that.
Safe Haven laws allow a parent to abandon an INFANT safely at a hospital, birthing center, police station, or fire department anonymously, no questions asked. The state who allows the oldest children to be abandoned in this way is North Dakota, and the child still has to be under 1 year of age.
Link to Safe Haven Laws, by State. Safe Haven Laws - A Safe Haven for Newborns
- 2Jul 10, '12 by blondy2061hQuote from Asystole RNSome things aren't cut and dry and we don't know the circumstances. Some things are cut and dry. Letting a child go for three days with a broken jaw, unable to eat, is neglectful and abusive.You are projecting your values onto the mother. Common sense is not so common and not everyone may see the same injury for what it is. I wonder if financial devastation was a concern for the mother?
- 0Jul 10, '12 by brilloheadA friend of mine fostered a teen who suffered a broken arm after telling his parents that he thought he "might" be gay. The parents preferred to pay child support to the state to have the child placed in foster care rather than have the blankety-blank-blank-blank living in their home. Turns out it was the best thing that could have happened to the kid -- he now has a new family that loves him and a bright future.
My mother disowned me when I was in my 30s because I put my sick dog to sleep without first getting her permission. You can bet your sweet bippy that I won't be visiting her in a nursing home or sending her Christmas cards either.
Not everyone who is a parent is worthy of actually being a parent.
- 0Jul 16, '12 by JenniferS_CNAQuote from Asystole RNThere was an elderly Alzheimer's patient who lived in LTC and had only a single contact, her MPOA who happened to be her son. She did not own a single stitch of clothing nor any trappings for her "home." No one would call her nor would anyone vista or send her cards.
A concerned nurse who grew very fond of this sweet little old lady became very upset that the son "abandoned" his mother. How dare he not even provide for some simple clothing or a single picture! He had the money, he was a MD with a thriving practice in an adjacent state.
Right before Christmas the concerned nurse called the son so that she could try to get her patient some clothing so that she could participate in the Christmas activities with dignity instead of the drab hospital gown she always wore.
The son's response is as follows,
"Look, I know how this looks but I will explain my negligence to you. My mother, my mother abused me as a child. She was a heavy drinker and would beat me every time she became drunk. At the age of 7 she abandoned me at a store. I went to live with my grandmother who effectively raised me and gave me the love I never had. At the age of 14 my mother sobered up and came to live with my grandmother, I could not be happier with this.
After living with us for several months while getting back on her feet we were preparing to move out to my mother's new apartment. The day we were supposed to move she abandoned me again. Before she left however, she cleaned out my grandmother's bank account and stole her entire life's savings, not to mention stealing all of her jewelry.
My grandmother went and got a second job and worked hard to put me through college. After college my mother reappeared and took care of my aging grandmother who had been able to financially restabilize and provide for her retirement.
Again my mother left after cleaning out my grandmother's bank accounts. Fortunately I was in the financial position at the time to ensure that my beloved grandmother spent her final days in comfort.
Now I am older with grown children of my own and I receive a phone call from you guys stating that I was placed as her only point of contact and I am not her MPOA. My mother brutalized me, abandoned me, and she attempted to destroy the only woman who ever loved me growing up.
My mother is an animal. Like my dogs I will ensure that she has a roof over her head and food in her belly. Other than that I will not provide any other comfort for her. I do not care what happens to her and I know where monsters like her go when they die.
Do as you wish with her but do not ask me for any assistance. Thank you."
This is why I try to reserve my judgement and stay neutral.
Wow. This is a great story that shows that things may not always be as they seem. Judgement get us no where.