ABANDONED - Page 4

I have a 6 year old terminal patient in hospice right now who CPS brought to us when the mother was abusing his pain meds and leaving him to suffer without his medication. All I can do is look at both the mother and child as critically ill because if I view her as evil..I will be overcome with hate and not be able to objectively treat this very dysfunctional family.

My state allows parents to abandon children at hospitals. Keeps the parents from dumping them into dumpsters or in the woods.

You are projecting your values onto the mother. Common sense is not so common and not everyone may see the same injury for what it is. I wonder if financial devastation was a concern for the mother?

There was an elderly Alzheimer's patient who lived in LTC and had only a single contact, her MPOA who happened to be her son. She did not own a single stitch of clothing nor any trappings for her "home." No one would call her nor would anyone vista or send her cards.

A concerned nurse who grew very fond of this sweet little old lady became very upset that the son "abandoned" his mother. How dare he not even provide for some simple clothing or a single picture! He had the money, he was a MD with a thriving practice in an adjacent state.

Right before Christmas the concerned nurse called the son so that she could try to get her patient some clothing so that she could participate in the Christmas activities with dignity instead of the drab hospital gown she always wore.

The son's response is as follows,

"Look, I know how this looks but I will explain my negligence to you. My mother, my mother abused me as a child. She was a heavy drinker and would beat me every time she became drunk. At the age of 7 she abandoned me at a store. I went to live with my grandmother who effectively raised me and gave me the love I never had. At the age of 14 my mother sobered up and came to live with my grandmother, I could not be happier with this.

After living with us for several months while getting back on her feet we were preparing to move out to my mother's new apartment. The day we were supposed to move she abandoned me again. Before she left however, she cleaned out my grandmother's bank account and stole her entire life's savings, not to mention stealing all of her jewelry.

My grandmother went and got a second job and worked hard to put me through college. After college my mother reappeared and took care of my aging grandmother who had been able to financially restabilize and provide for her retirement.

Again my mother left after cleaning out my grandmother's bank accounts. Fortunately I was in the financial position at the time to ensure that my beloved grandmother spent her final days in comfort.

Now I am older with grown children of my own and I receive a phone call from you guys stating that I was placed as her only point of contact and I am not her MPOA. My mother brutalized me, abandoned me, and she attempted to destroy the only woman who ever loved me growing up.

My mother is an animal. Like my dogs I will ensure that she has a roof over her head and food in her belly. Other than that I will not provide any other comfort for her. I do not care what happens to her and I know where monsters like her go when they die.

Do as you wish with her but do not ask me for any assistance. Thank you."

True story.

This is why I try to reserve my judgement and stay neutral.