"Nurses are so Mean" - page 4

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." ... Read More

  1. Visit  Rabid Response} profile page
    4
    My sister had been a nurse for 5 years when I told her that I had been accepted to nursing school. She told me that it was a mistake, that I was too sensitive to function with other nurses. It was the first time that I had heard the saying, "Nurses eat their young." Before nursing, my sister had been a police officer. She told me that although her cop co-workers were mostly jerks, nurses were even worse. She worked as an ED nurse for around one year and then had a baby, quit, and never went back--not a problem for her as her husband is an attorney and they can live on his earnings. If I tried nursing and hated it, I would not be able to lean on anyone else for financial support; I would be stuck in a job I hated.

    I ignored my sister's advice (lifetime habit), and now I have been working as a nurse for 3 years, which is two years longer than she actually spent on the job. Yes, there are hurdles, and not everyone was as welcoming as I would have wished them to be, but the environment is nowhere near as toxic as what she warned me about. In the end I decided that my sister's advice said more about her own personality than anything else. She has never been happy at any job. Her co-workers have never lived up to her high and inflexible standards. She will accept nothing less than perfection from anyone, including herself. Her personal life is characterized by interpersonal conflict as well. I can't imagine my sister as I know her being able to function in my ICU. She would be a magnet for discord.

    Hospital nursing is stressful and usually thankless. Nobody is perfect, and even the best nurses make mistakes. The only way to make it work is to function as a team. You can have awesome clinical skills and/or care deeply for your patients' welfare, but if you are unable to play well with others for WHATEVER reason, you will have a crappy time of it as a nurse.

    I think that we do a disservice to students and new nurses to keep warning them that "nurses eat their young." If that is what they expect, then that is what they will experience. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    cubsfan1, LibraSunCNM, CCL RN, and 1 other like this.
  2. Get the hottest topics every week!

    Subscribe to our free Nursing Insights newsletter.

  3. Visit  is5512} profile page
    0
    Nurses are most definitely Not Mean. The only people who would say so are: 1) People who haven't been around long enough to know, and who cares what a bunch of new kids think anyway, 2) People who have been around too long, and who cares what a bunch of burn-outs think anyway, or 3) People who have so many personal problems that they can't see that They are the ones who are the source of the meanness.

    What are really irritating are the people who fit in all three categories at the same time.

    If the issue keeps coming up, then there might be the teensiest of possibilities that there might be some truth to it; and instead of getting all defensive about it, maybe we should try to fix the problem and not the blame.
  4. Visit  a-jean} profile page
    0
    I am sorry but here is a story. a nurse got written up in wa. another nurse gave a statement that i dont want to work on weekends anymore with t. when asked why said "im afraid that she will call the state on me" when asked why he believes that she might do something to him, he explained that in the past she has made calls to the state over things that he thought could have been handled by asking a few questions of the resident and employee. this statement went into the nurses file. but what he didnt say was at the time the dns said to this nurse you need to call the state. he report to her she did her job. it seems in his statement he left out alot. but he looked good. the nurse was never informed this statement was placed in her file and she was fired
  5. Visit  aloevera} profile page
    1
    those who have thought they were treated badly before.........ain't seen nothin yet !!!!!!!!!!

    With all the budget cuts and staff lay-offs due to the BIG CORPORATE owners of the hospitals, we now have nurses cutting each others throats in order to keep their jobs............actually spying and writing others up to make themselves look better to the head honches........all to save their own jobs...........

    how said that it has come to this................I can only blame the economy, and owners of the corps.....
    tkane likes this.
  6. Visit  is5512} profile page
    0
    With all due respect, Ma'am, the economy and the corporations etc are doing us a favor. They are helping us identify who has integrity and who does not.
  7. Visit  queen777} profile page
    4
    Its not what I think that matters, its what needlessly happened to me. I do think you are right about one thing, bad things seem to follow certain people like myself. I think I have gullable written on my forehead.
    I am talkative and a lot of people don't like that, so I did have to learn to shut up! and just do my job. I found my patients and colleagues both liked me. I just couldn't seem to get along with the 2 head nurses. I wasn't fast enough at getting vitals signs and asked, "what are you doing down there, fluffing pillows?" Well yes, if that is what my patients want me to do. These 2 women did nothing but sit and eat the entire 11-7 shift! Once I was to going to answer a light, she saw me coming yet she walks right by the room and says, "you need to get this light", duh!
    One evening on 3-11 a pt had got stuck in his bsc, so when he called me later that same night, I got an orderly to come with me to his room and let him use the BR. OMG! You would have thought I commited a sin! This head nurse could not wait to write me up because I went against the cardex/standing orders! The man refused to use his BSC! I mean this nurse had me all written up and told me to come read and sign it, I told her I would not because the pt refused and she said, "well you got yourself out of this one."

    Another night I was busy in another pt's room, another new RN asked me to get Baseline Vitals so she could start a transfusion. By the time I got to the room she had already started it! I was going to get the vitals, but because she had already started the transfusion, she blamed it on me. I was green. Years later I found out that the nurse who starts the transfusion should have gotten the vitals, not me! I carried this blame for years. It was finally another NICE RN who told me the truth. I just hated the fact that I was being lied to and they wanted to blame me for their lack of inadequacies. I have more stories about this hospital, including the one where another RN from another floor called me onto the elevator one night and personally told me that this certain nurse would continue to "be on my back until I either quit or tranferred to another floor." HOw do you like that for mean? Is that mean? What do you call this kind of behavour?

    Yes, I do believe that certain people, for some reason of their own, call it lack of: confidense, ego, beauty (they did dress in scrubbs, I did not, I dressed in white and always wore a pressed lab coat), have a inner problem of their own, lots of bad days and for this reason people like myself are targeted!

    Come on these nurses had 28 & 30 yrs experience on me! This was my first job. Even the other nurses noticed how I was being targeted, so it was not just me. Actually, I thought it was just something they were doing to make me tough or possibly see how tough I was. I had nothing against them. NO reason to, so what was their problem?
  8. Visit  annmarie899} profile page
    5
    annmarie, age 58, NP for 15 years, nurse for over 25 years,

    I agree with many of the opinions, but there does seem to be a little defensiveness in some of the comments.

    Here is my take on this, as a 'seasoned nurse of age 58'. I was once a young and attractive nurse, and naive. I had a preceptor who was almost ready to retire, walked with a limp, I'm sure was in constant pain, and mercilessly tortured me. Why? I don't know. I almost quit nursing because of her. She picked on me, was rude to me, singled me out. It was the associate director of the program ( who I went to in tears when this 'sourpuss' dismissed me from clinical one day for being unprepared - notwithstanding the fact I had just had a death in the family and still showed up) that talked me into staying.

    Through the years there have always been 'the young and entitled' - and this pertains to med students as well, whom I have had the privilege of herding during clinic. The young and entitled cannot do more than one thing at a time, get upset when you ask them to do a second thing - because it's just too much, or they were'nt expecting it ' like 'see another patient? but I haven't presented this first patient yet?' - but more like this will cut into their gossip session or internet surfing time.

    But let's not overlook the fact that there is still serious incivility present in our academic institutions and workplace. Not only incivility - there is violence as well. Recently in the news there was a shooting in a hospital in CT where an elderly patient pulled out a gun and attempted to shoot a nurse - a male nurse, a former military man, jumped to the rescue, and was shot in the leg and disarmed the patient.

    There is real violence and real incivility in our society. Bad things happen to all of us. But as professionals, we should leave it at home, and put on our professional demeanor, and NOT take it out on our patients, our co-workers, or family members.

    If things are that bad, please go to EAP and sort things out. It's not ok to dump on other people. Yes, it happens, but as the saying goes, it all just trickles down. . . and creates a really bad workplace mileau.

    Let's not make excuses for being 'martyrs' or being the perpetrators of incivility. I think nurses, as professionals, are much better than that.

    Stiff upper lip, smile, then go to the gym. Join a kick boxing club, and kick the crap out of a bag. Not your patients, your co-workers, or your loved ones. It just won't do. And don't forget that humor is the stress reliever of all.

    annmarie
  9. Visit  aloevera} profile page
    0
    I agree we all have "horror stories" that we can recount from our younger days as new nurses.....

    But I really think that this behavior is not just in nursing......I think in all professions, you must pay your dues.
    I know, I don't agree with it...I wish all could be rosy and nice, but people are just not built that way (not all)
    As above post mentioned, you never know just what is going on in that "nasty" persons life to cause their behavior......not to make any excuses........but my great philosohy is "don't take it personal"..you can't, just keep your head up and do what you are suppose to do.....take care of your patients.

    and be glad we aren't stuck in an office situation !!!!! you can imagine the water cooler gossip and goings on !!
  10. Visit  queen777} profile page
    1
    Quote from aloevera
    those who have thought they were treated badly before.........ain't seen nothin yet !!!!!!!!!!

    With all the budget cuts and staff lay-offs due to the BIG CORPORATE owners of the hospitals, we now have nurses cutting each others throats in order to keep their jobs............actually spying and writing others up to make themselves look better to the head honches........all to save their own jobs...........

    how said that it has come to this................I can only blame the economy, and owners of the corps.....
    That's why I don't nurse anymore!
    aloevera likes this.
  11. Visit  eriksoln} profile page
    2
    Quote from aloevera
    those who have thought they were treated badly before.........ain't seen nothin yet !!!!!!!!!!

    With all the budget cuts and staff lay-offs due to the BIG CORPORATE owners of the hospitals, we now have nurses cutting each others throats in order to keep their jobs............actually spying and writing others up to make themselves look better to the head honches........all to save their own jobs...........

    how said that it has come to this................I can only blame the economy, and owners of the corps.....
    We have one nurse who spends her off days scanning through various social sites (facebook, myspace and a couple others) looking for/stalking co-workers. If she finds you, she'll bookmark your page at home and check it EVERY DAY for anything she can use against you. People have said things as innocent as "I had a rough day at work, lots of admits" and it gets printed and delivered to the manager.

    Thankfully, our manager see's through this sort of backstabbing behavior. She doesn't take any of it seriously.

    The thing that jumps out to me about it is, the nurse who does it........is one of the worst nurses you could ever run into. I think behaviors like this and.........a general lack skill.......tend to go together for some reason.
    ittibittinurse and aloevera like this.
  12. Visit  nursel56} profile page
    2
    Quote from is5512
    With all due respect, Ma'am, the economy and the corporations etc are doing us a favor. They are helping us identify who has integrity and who does not.
    Sort of like a famine to sort out who the thieves are?
    Last edit by nursel56 on May 10, '10
    elb252 and aloevera like this.
  13. Visit  annmarie899} profile page
    1
    aloevera,
    I have heard that employers - and I can imagine even co workers (why not?) would check out things you write on blogs and face book and would even use it against you. That seems to be the nature of the beast. I guess that is why as I've been advised many times *not to put personal information on these post, *not to put my real name or traceable information on here, as you don't want things to be used against you. And really not to put things, photos, or verbal language on the internet that might come back to haunt you. After all - you are sending it out to the world! Just like emails. They get forwarded, and forwarded, and forwarded again. . . and you never know who gets them.

    Great point!

    annmarie
    aloevera likes this.
  14. Visit  aloevera} profile page
    0
    is5512..........well I sure don't agree with you!!! integrity or not, people must feed their families......it is the corps./owners that have caused all this mess !!! and I fear it will only get worse...
    NO, THEY ARE NOT DOING ANYONE A FAVOR, EXCEPT THEMSELVES !!!!


Nursing Jobs in every specialty and state. Visit today and Create Job Alerts, Manage Your Resume, and Apply for Jobs.

Top