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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Hi y'all...I'm guessing this is the most appropriate place to post this. Last weekend I took care of a mom (I do OB/GYN/nursery) who'd had a c/s delivery of a 24 +3 baby that was about halfway out by the time she got to the hospital. This family was from Mongolia, had been here about 5 years and they were the absolute sweetest couple, a real joy to care for. I had that sixth sense about their baby when I admitted mom; some 24-weekers I can just sense are going to make it and they do. This family wasn't one of those, although they deserved it.

Anyway, they were on my mind all week. I didn't come back until last night and I asked our NNP (who was in wellbaby where I was in charge) how that kid did. She told me that respiratory-wise he was actually doing ok (as "ok" as one can be at 24wks, I guess) but that at DOL 2 he developed a grade IV brain bleed and it went downhill from there. Neo discussed c family about possible outcomes and they decided, because there was the possibility that they would return to Mongolia where there are considerable fewer resources for children with deficits that he would likely have s/p brain bleed, that they would dc the vent. Once they did that, apparently, the kid lived about 30 minutes. I could not imagine having to make that decision for my family nor being the one to cut off the vent.

I don't do NICU, but I have found myself grieving for that kid and that family. It must have taken an immense amount of courage for that family to make that decision. I personally feel like it was the right one. I guess I just needed to tell people that might understand where I'm coming from. Thanks for cyber-listening.

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Specializes in ORTHOPAEDICS-CERTIFIED SINCE 89.

I am sorry for their loss, and for yours.

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Specializes in NICU.

I'm so sorry for this loss :(

I can't imagine how heartbreaking that decision was for the parents ..... but I'm glad they were strong enough to make such a decision rather than make the baby suffer needlessly. My heart goes out to them.

(((((hugs))))) for you too.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

Thank you both for "listening" & responding. Death is a part of life too, I guess, just a million times harder for me when it is a little person vs. a big person. Nice to know someone out there understands!!

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Specializes in Level II & III NICU, Mother-Baby Unit.

Hi Arwen_U,

I think most of us who post here and are NICU nurses have an understanding of how emotional each loss is for the family as well as the nurses and other personnel caring for them. Thankfully these incredibly sad situations are less common than the good, happy ones.

You seem to be a very caring and empathetic nurse; I'm glad you chose nursing as a career because it helps to have a big heart when you are a nurse. Sure, your heart will break many times but somehow it repairs itself and you are left with the scars which will always serve as little reminders of these precious babies and their families.

:icon_hug: Big Hug

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Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

Every so often, a patient/family gets a piece of our heart. IMO, that's a very good thing. It's OK to allow yourself to be sad, and to pray for this family in whatever way seems appropriate for you.

Don't worry, there's plenty of heart left, and that piece will heal even better than new.

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Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.

You guys made me cry all over again reading your responses. In a good way. Thanks! You all are s.

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