You know you're a neuro nurse if.....

Specialties Neuro

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I was inspired by the looonngggg "you know you're a nurse if..." thread on the Nursing Humor forum, and thought we could do one based on our specialty. Here's a few I came up with and please feel free to add on!

You know you're a Neuro nurse if:

Your favorite patient is a GCS=3 and an orphan.

Along with standing orders for Dilantin and Decadron, you also have orders for restraints and Propofol.

If anyone in your family hits their head, the first thing you do is grab a penlight and check their pupils.

Every time you get a bad headache, you're sure you've either had an aneurysm rupture or have got a brain tumor.

You've ever referred to visiting hours as "inspection."

You give out points for creativity on patients that find new ways to swear at you.

You've ever had a patient proposition you or make sexually explicit comments right in front of his 80-year-old grandmother.

You've given a patient a 6 on motor (follows commands) when they stuck up both of their middle fingers at you when you asked them to "hold up two fingers."

You've heard your unit referred to as the "vegetable patch."

You wish you had a dollar for everytime you've heard from another nurse, "Neuro! I HATE neuro!"

:lol2:

When the staff are flipping coins to see who gets the next GSW to head or post-op craniotomy.....!!

Neurosurgeon asks 2d post-op crani for occipital tumor how many fingers he (the surgeon) has. Guy pauses, then says, "I reckon you have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs". Neurosurgeon, of course, did not appreciate the humor in it...:angryfire

Only in West by golly Virginia...............LOL

Great thread.......... these are cute ! :chuckle

I could think of some doozies specific to Dialysis, too ... :D

I'd love to hear 'em, Jnette. Why not start up a list in the dialysis board? :)

Specializes in Rodeo Nursing (Neuro).

When the only useful thing you learned in High School was wrestling.

You guys are killing me! :rotfl:

Thanks for the laughs! I just finished up three days in a row with one little man that was "pleasantly confused" (i.e. crazy) and a MICU trainwreck with the most wacko mother I've ever encountered.

Makes me appreciate the humor all that much more!!!

Specializes in ICU.

You know that a "floor bed" does NOT refer to an empty bed somewhere in your ward. And you DO believe in them - you do you do!!!

You believe that there are patients who look on bed rails the same way that Hilary looked on Everest and with the same determination.

Bed rails just give them extra height to fall from.

Houdini had nothing on a Little old Lady with a chronic subdural!!!

When it comes to restraints some patients actually need to be superglued to the mattress and THEN they would still manage to escape!!!

When the creative commercials for Listerine Strips give you ideas of how to deal with "neuro breath".

Specializes in ICU.

ITA Johnny!!!

When you firmly believe that the severity of the cerebral insult it directly proportional to the degree of halitosis!!!

Specializes in Neurology and Med Surg.

When you come home everyday and realize how blessed you are to live another day, when you see young adults come in with new brain tumors, glio, etc., or even a trauma event

Specializes in Neurology and Med Surg.

when you swear up and down that the pt is regarding you or is with it,when the glas. scale says otherwise.. its so freaky, they look you dead in your eye!!

1.you Know What Neuro Breath Is

2.you Are On A First Name Basis With The Organ Donor Service Personell

3.you Can Explain The Differences In Sah Grades 1-5 So Simply That 1st Graders Can Understand It!

that's so interesting. I've had quite a number of neuro patients recently, and I'll admit they do have a distinct odor. Last week, I cared for a pt with Locked-in Syndrome...how sad, anyway, I gave her a bath and just tried to make her comfortable all day. She still had the odor after the bath. What's that all about?

You find yourself using the phrase, "You have a tube in your bladder" over 100 times in a shift in respones to your patients frantic "I NEED TO PEE!" diatribe.

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