I recently took the NCLEX-RN exam for the first time and just paid the $8.00 to Pearson to find out my unofficial results. Looks like I failed.
I'm honestly pretty devastated. I studied my butt off for this exam, doing the stupid Kaplan on-line practice tests, tons of practice med-surg questions, and just general studying. I got asked something around 175 questions on the exam.
This really was supposed to be a good day for me. Today is my birthday (I just turned 34) and things have been very, very difficult for me in life lately. It was all I could do to scrape together enough money after graduating nursing school to pay for all the background checks and licensing fees, and I've basically been living in poverty for the past few months. I can't even really pay my rent. I've had to call around and beg for money from churches for rental assistance. I finally got approved for food stamps but have yet to get my card.
I left a good career in the military to get my bachelor's degree in nursing and have honestly experienced nothing but tough times since leaving. I kept telling myself that it'll be worth it, even after I had to re-take Critical Care because I didn't pass with a high enough grade, which held me back from graduating for a year. Now I've failed after my family helped me out with some of the fees.
I'm such a loser, I'm so tired of being a loser. I just don't have the money to do this all over again. I can't get any nursing jobs because I don't have a license. I can't afford to pay for more certification fees just so I can be an aid and go wipe butts.
What kills me is that I'm a good nurse! My patients have all loved me, I did fantastic during clinicals, I even got a highly competitive internship where I did great. I'm supposed to be successful. Instead I'm a 34 year old loser.
